


When You Hang By A Thread Of Sanity

by Ashleyparker2815



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental bed-wetting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bed-Wetting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Molestation, Non-Consensual Touching, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Tony Stark, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter has separation anxiety from Tony, Poor Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Rape/Non-con Elements, Separation Anxiety, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Virgin Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2020-07-31 08:23:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 87,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20112082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashleyparker2815/pseuds/Ashleyparker2815
Summary: Peter Parker has a good life. He has an Aunt that loves him more than anything and now a father-figure, Tony Stark, who would do anything to protect him. Despite losing his parents and his Uncle at such a young age, Peter’s life is good. But will all that change when a teacher at Peter’s school decides to take advantage of him in the worst way.





	1. The calm before the storm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kianisabitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kianisabitch/gifts).
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii everyone!! I just wanted to say that kian is basically the best person ever!! I’m so glad that we reached out to each other because I love seeing his notifications pop up on what whatever we are talking on! It’s so great to have something in common with someone and to just be able to by myself so thank you so much for that Kian!!! This is for you:)))
> 
> Also everyone go check out his amazing amazing work at kianisabitch you will love it:) 
> 
> I just wanted to say before you start reading that this fic is gonna have a lot of dark heavy stuff in it so please be careful. I posted warnings in the tags (more will be added later on) and I will be posting a warning at the beginning of every chapter that has heavy stuff so please read. Anyways I hope you all like this especially you, Kian because this is all for you:))))

Peter was exhausted. 

He had spent the whole day at Tony’s lab working on suit upgrades and new designs. Tony even let Peter help him with with the Iron Man. Peter couldn’t believe this was his life now. 

Ever since the homecoming incident with Peter crashing Tony’s plane to try and stop the ‘guy with the wings’ from stealing all of Tony’s tech, Peter and Tony’s relationship had gotten stronger. 

Tony set up days for Peter to visit the tower so they could work on suit designs together and also just so they could hang out because Peter loved hanging out in the lab with Tony but he also loved watching movies with Tony too. 

They had created a special bond together over the few months and Peter couldn’t be happier with his life. 

Now however, Peter had just gotten home on a Sunday night from spending all day with Tony. He wanted to stay longer but he couldn’t because it was a school night and May didn’t really trust Tony with Peter on school nights because last time Peter stayed the night and Tony promised to make sure that Peter went to bed early they both got distracted in the lab and Peter ended up staying up all night and then remembering that he had to go to school which caused him to fall asleep in his class and then got sent home. 

May definitely wasn’t happy about it and neither was Tony to receive the phone call from an angry May Parker that evening lecturing Tony about how Peter is a child that is still growing and needs to sleep all night. 

Peter laughed to himself at the memory. He hoped that May would start to trust Tony again so that he could start spending the nights in the lab again with Tony on a school night. 

Peter shook his head to get rid of his thoughts because he needed to get ready for bed. Thankfully he hadn’t procrastinated this weekend so he didn’t have to do any homework before going to bed. 

It wasn’t like Peter really ever procrastinated actually. He had always been good with doing his homework on time because he hated having it at the back of his mind whenever he was trying to relax after getting home from school. 

Now that Peter was Spider-Man he didn’t have time to procrastinate. He would come home from school and immediately open his books and get started on his homework then go out as Spider-Man. 

Peter checked the time on his phone seeing that it was still early. It was only 7:12pm and curfew was 9pm on school nights for Peter to go out as Spider-Man. 

Homework was all done so there was no need for Peter to not go out as Spider-Man. 

Peter quickly tugged down his pants and took off his shirt so that he was only standing in his underwear. He smiled at Captain America’s shield all over his underwear and then thought about how Tony would probably make a face of disgust and then buy him Iron Man ones. 

Once inside the Spider-Man suit, Peter walked out into the living room to tell May where he was gonna be until his curfew “Aunt May, I’m going out as Spider-Man. I’ll be back at nine” 

May turned around from where she was washing dishes at the kitchen sink “Okay! Be safe and I love you!”

Peter was already making his way back to his bedroom so he could go out his window as usual “I love you too!”

And he was gone. 

.  
.  
.

It was around 8:55pm so Peter was starting to make his way back to his apartment. 

It was a quiet night out. It usually was on Sunday nights because Peter found that everyone was too tired from the wild weekend to go out and do bad stuff, that was Peter’s logic anyways. 

Peter loved being out as Spider-Man. He always felt so alive. The feeling of being so free and swinging from building to building just brought out some sort of happiness that Peter didn’t feel any other time. Unless sometimes when he was with Tony in the lab because something about having lacked a male in his life for so long made him latch onto Tony even more. 

Peter swung his way home and crawled into the window of his bedroom. 

“Peter? Is that you?” May called stepping into Peter’s bedroom. 

Peter made his voice go really deep, it wasn’t that deep but he tried, “No! It’s Spider-Man”

May laughed at her nephews innocence. He loved how Peter was still attached to his childish side but it equally scared her because she didn’t want Peter going out as Spider-Man when he was still so young and naïve about the world. 

“Alright, Spider-Man” May laughed “Go shower and then come watch house hunters with me”

Peter laughed under the mask and then took it off. His hair was always sweaty and sticky after he wore the mask for so long while fighting crime. It didn’t really disgust him until he had to go to sleep because he hated feeling so nasty in his bed. 

Peter waited for May to leave his room and shut the door before he took off his suit and his underwear hopping into the shower.

After the shower, the night went by really fast with Peter watching house hunters with his Aunt while she let him eat a bit of ice cream even though it was bedtime. 

.  
.  
.

“Peter, get up, honey, it’s time for school” May said peeking her head into the door of Peter’s bedroom. 

It was May’s night shift tonight at the hospital meaning that she got to stay home today which means she gets to wake Peter up. 

Peter loved the days that May was home to wake him up in the mornings because it was always better than his alarm clock scaring him awake. Plus it made Peter get out of bed faster which was always the best so he wasn’t late for school. 

Peter moaned and rolled onto his stomach as he stretched. He peeked his eye opened expecting to see May standing at the door but she wasn’t so Peter kicked the blankets off of him so he could get out of bed and start getting ready for school. 

Peter was tired and regretted eating that ice cream last night because it kept him up all night until only a few hours ago when he was actually able to fall asleep but to Peter it felt like he didn’t sleep at all last night which was really annoying but he didn’t care too much. 

He was more excited to be going out as Spider-Man after school because May wouldn’t be home until early tomorrow morning meaning that Peter could be a bit rebellious and stay out later at night in the suit to fight crime! 

That is if Tony doesn’t find out but Peter was sure he would so maybe even Peter could spend the night at the tower. Either way Peter was excited for after school. 

After Peter was done going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth he decided to put on some comfy clothes. 

It was the middle of October so it was cold out but not freezing cold so Peter could definitely go out with just a sweater. 

Peter put on his favourite dark blue jeans and he put on a red pullover sweater on. On the front said some science pun that always made Peter laugh. 

As always Peter ended up late even with May home and able to wake him up and almost missing his train so he quickly ate the breakfast that May made for him which was orange juice (Peter hated it but he drank it to make May happy) pancakes with a side of blueberries. 

Peter threw his backpack over his shoulder and quickly made his way to his train stop which was about a five minute walk from his apartment building but Peter made it in three minutes because he was practically skipping there. People were looking at him strangely as if he was too happy in the morning since everyone looked miserable like they hated their life. 

Peter ignored the looks he got as he hopped on the train. It was crowded as always so Peter had to stand and hold onto the bar at the side. Peter wasn’t a germ freak but he made himself sweater paws just so he couldn’t touch the actual bar because germ freak or not that thing was nasty! 

The ride was really quick. It usually always was in the morning because Peter would always rather be at the tower than going to school so that for some reason made the ride faster. It was the ride home that took hours for Peter because he just wanted to get there. 

Once the train pulled up to Peter’s stop he jumped out and started making his way to his school. It was colder than it was when Peter left his apartment and he was kinda regretting not bringing a warmer jacket but he would be in the school soon. 

Peter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket so he pulled it out and smiled at the text he got from Tony. 

Tony: hey kid! How bout you come by after school and we can work on some stuff in the lab or just watch a movie or something

Peter smiled before typing a response. He loved it so much when Tony texted him first because it made him feel less like an annoying little kid begging for attention. Plus he just loved seeing Tony’s name pop up on the screen. 

Peter: sure!! We could watch grown ups 2 again because I know you liked it so much before:))

Tony: it was okay. I’ll send happy to capture you and bring you over, okay?

Peter: yeppppppp;) I can’t wait

Peter smiled and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Just from holding his phone from the train stop to the school had his hands freezing. He was going over to Tony’s house after school which was Peter’s favourite thing to do by far! 

Spider-Man was a close second... maybe third. Second would be whenever he and May would bake cupcakes together on the weekend. 

But Spider-Man would have to wait a little bit. Maybe Tony would let Peter go out as Spider-Man for a little bit while he was at the tower. It was worth a shot to ask the man. 

Peter made his way to his locker which was all the way on the second floor. Usually Peter wouldn’t complain about that since after the spider bite it took a lot to tire him out but it was cold out and that always made Peter a bit more tired and weak feeling plus he barely got any sleep so those were his excuses. 

Peter was glad that his hands managed to warm up by the time he got to his locker so he didn’t have to mess with his lock. 

Ned popped up from behind Peter making him jump “Hey, Peter! Guess what I did this weekend!”

Peter grabbed the books he needed for his first class out of his locker as he thought “You finished the galaxy LEGO set?”

Ned shook his head and Peter knew his best friend was about to tell him so Peter waited “No, I finished the star wars ship set!”

“Woah! No way! That’s awesome!” Peter beamed. He shut his locker and started walking to his first period class that he had with Ned “I have to come over and see that soon”

Ned nodded excitedly “Yeah! How does today sound?”

Peter smiled and shook his head “Sorry, Ned. I can’t today because I’m going to Tony’s tower”

“That’s so cool, dude” Ned beamed “I still can’t believe that you are friends with the Tony Stark!”

Peter moved his hand to cover Ned’s mouth. He looked around to see who heard but it appeared that most people had their earbuds in. 

“Be quiet, Ned”

Ned gave Peter an apologetic look “Sorry. Anyways what did you do this weekend?”

“Well, Saturday I spent with Aunt May because she’s been working so much and I didn’t really get to see her all week so we baked and watched movies together then on Sunday I went to Tony’s house and we worked in the lab together and watched a scary movie” Peter explained smiling at the memory of how much fun his weekend was because it was spent with those he loved. 

“That’s awesome, dude!” Ned said. They made their way to their class and walked in. 

Peter and Ned both sat beside each other and it was one of Peter’s favourite classes because his best friend was in that class plus it was biochemistry which Peter loved. 

His second class was his least favourite which was boring English. Peter was good at it he just hated it because it was boring! Then came advanced functions which always made Peter stressed because his teacher was a horrible explainer but she was nice. Then math class which was Peter’s last class so it always went by really slow because he just wanted to go home so he could be Spider-Man or in this case go over to Tony’s!

The day went by really fast. 

Surprisingly because all Peter wanted to do was to see Tony and spend the evening with his father figure in the lab and then possibly watch a movie together. 

Peter felt like he was vibrating with happiness and he just couldn’t wait anymore. 

There was just one class left until Peter was free and he could hang out with Tony. This class was always the longest one but that was okay because then that meant the end of the day.

Peter walked into the class and took his seat which was at the back of the class. He usually liked the front the best but he hated answering questions in this class so he always sat in the back. Ned wasn’t in this class which sucked. It wasn’t like Peter didn’t have any other friends in his classes, he did but they weren’t Ned. 

The teacher walked into the class motioning for everyone to be quiet so he could begin the lesson. 

Peter was barely listening as his teacher explained how to do the homework which Peter would regret later, he just couldn’t stop staring at the clock so he could get out of there and go see Tony at his tower. 

“Peter,” Peter’s teacher called out which made Peter turn to him in surprise. 

“Y-yes, Mr. Ellis?” Peter stuttered out. He didn’t like the way his teacher was walking over to him. 

“Are you paying attention to my lesson?” Mr. Ellis asked and Peter shook his head. 

“Yeah, sorry” Peter looked down at his desk and then back up at his teacher who was now thankfully turning around and walking back to the front. 

Peter checked the time once more seeing that he only had twenty minutes left of class which he was really excited for. He spent the rest of the time fidgeting in his seat, he felt like he couldn’t contain his excitement and he just wanted the final bell to ring. 

The rest of the students started packing up since there was only two minutes left of class and Peter was quickly shoving his books into his backpack so he could be the first one out the door. 

Just then Peter’s teacher called him out “Peter, can you stay after class? I need to talk to you about something” 

Peter nodded. 

Little did he know that after that talk things will never be the same for Peter ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dark stuff is to come in the next chapter...
> 
> I hope you all liked this so far


	2. What happens now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everybody is having a good day because Peter is definitely not. 
> 
> This is when the dark stuff is gonna come in so make sure that you read the warnings before hand, please be safe. 
> 
> WARNINGS: mentions of non consent touching of a child and some other stuff so please be careful

Peter felt his heart drop. He looked at the clock and then the bell rang. He just wanted to run to Happys car and then run into Tony’s lab and now he had to wait even longer just because of his stupid teacher!

Peter didn’t say anything to his teacher as he stood in the middle of the class and waited for all the students to quickly leave the classroom excited to finally be out of school for the day. Not Peter though, he was stuck in the class for so much more longer.

After all the students were gone, Peter slowly walked over to his teachers desk.

Now, he wasn’t mad about having to talk to his teacher after school but he was scared because his teacher wanted to talk to him after school and he didn’t know what he did wrong.

Was he failing math? Was he failing any other subjects? Was he getting in trouble for not listening today?

So many thoughts were running through his mind.

“Come over here, Peter” Mr. Ellis said which made Peter get a bad feeling in his stomach. His spidey sense tingled as he walked over on shaky legs to where his teacher was sitting at his desk.

Mr. Ellis held his arms out for Peter so when Peter stepped closer to him his teacher grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him closer to him so that Peter was standing next to his teacher on his side.

Peter hated being this close and he felt his breath hitch at the thought that he was probably in huge trouble if his teacher was bringing him this close to him.

His teacher didn’t say anything for a few seconds which felt really long to Peter both because he just wanted to leave and also because he was really anxious as to why his teacher had to talk to him.

Peter spoke nervously “Um... Mr. Ellis, why do you need to talk to me?”

Mr. Ellis stopped with the papers on his desk and he stood up without saying anything as he walked past Peter over to the classroom door.

Peter was confused. His spidey sense was screaming at him to the point where it was almost painfully telling him to get out! He just thought it was because he was scared about the whole situation and didn’t really know what was going on.

His teacher began talking and his voice sent shivers down Peter’s spine “The reason why I kept you after class, Peter, is because I’m not liking the fact that you aren’t listening to my lessons in class”

Peter relaxed a little bit more at that. At least now he knew he wasn’t failing this class or any other class and he wasn’t in huge trouble.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ellis,” Peter began “It won’t happen again”

Peter didn’t know why his spidey sense was still screaming at him to get out of there but he ignored it because he couldn’t just walk out on a teacher talking to him.

Peter watched confused as his teacher closed the classroom door locking it behind him and then turning to Peter. Peter felt like he was frozen on the spot as his teacher slowly made his way over to him and then sat down at his desk chair with a smug smile on his face.

Peter didn’t understand what was happening but he was starting to get scared. He knew he should try and run away but he also knew that he couldn’t and even if he tried he wasn’t sure if his legs would even work because they felt like jello that was glued to the floor.

Peter looked at his teacher with wide eyes. He tried not to show the fear that was running through his body but he knew his teacher saw it in his fearful eyes.

“Now, you know that it is disrespectful to disobey someone who is older than you, correct?” Mr. Ellis asked Peter.

Peter didn’t really know that was a rule but he nodded anyways. He didn’t really think he was in any place right now but to agree.

“Use your words, Peter” The way that Peter’s teacher said his name sent a bad feeling down his spine and he looked away from the man.

“Y-yes” Peter managed to get out. He didn’t look back at his teacher but he heard some more papers moving on his desk.

Peter knew this was not good. He knew he shouldn’t be just standing here and that he should be running away but it was like he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything but stand there and stare at the ground. Peter knew something bad was about to happen.

Peter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and then he suddenly remembered Happy was supposed to pick him up.

His teacher must have heard the vibration because he looked over at Peter and then down at his pocket.

“Is someone waiting for you?” Mr. Ellis asked. Peter saw fear cross his teachers face for a split second but then it was gone and Peter questioned if he even saw it in the first place.

Peter nodded. His teacher pointed to his pocket “Take out you phone and tell them you’re in the library studying”

Peter did as he was told. He knew he was in trouble if his teacher wanted him to lie to whoever was texting him.

Peter pulled out his phone with shaky hands and read the text that was from Happy in his head.

Happy: hey kid, where are you because I’m waiting outside your school?

Peter felt his heart break at the text. He wanted nothing more than to be in the car with Happy right now.

Peter looked up at his teacher before starting to type his response.

“Show me before you send it” Mr. Ellis said as he stared at Peter.

Peter shakily managed to type out a response.

Peter: sorry Happy but I’m not feeling too good. Can you tell Tony I’m sorry

Peter held his phone up to his teacher which he grabbed out of Peter’s hands really fast before reading the texts and then placing the phone face down on his desk.

Peter looked over sadly at his phone. He should have just called Happy and screamed until Happy came running into find him and save him from whatever was about to happen.

His teacher turned to him “Now, since you didn’t listen to my lesson I was explaining today, you have to do something for me”

Peter didn’t know where this was going but he nodded anyways.

“Do you want to do something for me, Peter?” The way Mr. Ellis asked that question made Peter want to cry. He was so scared and felt so helpless.

Peter nodded again despite not knowing what he was agreeing to.

“Use your words!” Peter stepped back at the sudden anger from his teacher.

“Y-yes, I wanna d-do something for-for you” Peter hated this. He hates it. He felt his eyes burn with tears and he just wanted to be anywhere but here.

Mr. Ellis smiled “That’s what I wanted to hear”

Peter looked down at his feet terrified at what would happen next.

“Come closer to me” Mr. Ellis grabbed Peter by the wrist and pulled Peter until he was a lot closer to him. Peter looked up from the ground and looked at his teacher with fear in his eyes. Peter felt both of his teachers hands grab onto his wrist and he felt his thumb rubbing smoothing circles over his bone which made Peter try and pull away but his teacher just held tighter “I want you to take your pants off for me”

Peter felt his heart drop. Now he knew where this was leading to and any other situation could have been better than this. At this point Peter wished the reason why his teacher wanted to talk to him was because he was failing a class. Peter wished he was failing all his classes if that meant he wouldn’t be in this situation.

This whole situation felt so familiar to Peter and that is because this had happened before. This whole thing happened before to Peter and now it was happening again and Peter felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

Peter suddenly felt like a scared little nine-year old boy again when he thought someone who was his friend betrayed him and started showing him sexual magazines and touching him. 

Peter let out a sob at the memory and shut his eyes tight. This couldn’t be happening again, Peter thought. 

Skip, the boy that Peter thought was his friend, is here again and is going to hurt him although this time it’s a grown man that has so much more power over Peter.

Peter tried to back away but his teachers grip was too strong on him. Peter shook his head. He was Spider-Man for crying out loud!

He should be able to get out of his teachers grip and run away but he felt frozen. In all the scary situations he’s ever been in before he’s never felt this scared and frozen.

Peter felt like he was nothing in this moment. He didn’t feel like he could scream even if he tried. He felt powerless over his teacher. Over this man.

Peter whined and shook his head scrunching up his eyes “N-no. Please”

His teacher held tighter with one arm “Take off your pants, Peter. You said you wanted to do something for me and this is your punishment for not listening in class today”

Peter shook his head again “No, I-I promise I’ll l-listen. I p-promise”

“Too late now” His teacher moved one hand to Peter’s waist and the other grabbed both of Peter’s wrists in one large hand.

Peter whimpered. He scrunched up his eyes and tried to get his body to move but it just stayed frozen in place as he let his teacher hold him there.

“If you’re not gonna do it then I’m just gonna have to do it myself” Mr. Ellis started moving both of his hands to Peters jean buckles. Peter looked down at his teachers hands and felt them lift his shirt up before they started tugging on his buckles.

Peter whimpered and then felt tears fall out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He tried to move away and move his hands down to block his teacher from taking off his pants but his teacher grabbed his wrists hard “Don’t you dare!”

Peter moved his hands up to his face to cover his eyes as his teacher finished unbuckling Peter’s jeans. Peter expected the man to tug his pants down right away but he didn’t.

Peter peeked an eye out and saw his teacher looking at him like he was a starved lion and Peter was the hunk of meat just waiting to be eaten up.

As if his teacher was waiting for some suspension he resumed what he was doing and began to tug Peter’s jeans down until they were around his ankles.

By this point Peter was openly crying as he watched what his teacher was doing through fearful eyes peeking out of his hands. His teacher glanced up at Peter and met his eyes but Peter quickly looked away and let out a sob. His teacher ignored him however.

Peter waiting for what was about to come next. He was terrified and he knew his body was shaking uncontrollably.

Mr. Ellis held onto Peter’s waist with his hands and began to speak “Such a tiny waist. I’ve been dreaming about this day for a long time, you are just so perfect in every way I just had to find the right time so I could see you naked”

Peter let out another sob at that. He felt his tears and his snot all over his face and his hands now but he didn’t care because that was better than watching what his teacher was gonna do to him.

His teacher slid his hands down to the hem of Peter’s underwear and Peter held his breath.

His teacher moved one hand down to Peter’s crotch which made Peter bounce back in surprise. His teacher cupped his penis through his underwear and gave it a squeeze which had Peter immediately putting his hands down there to try and stop his teacher from touching him.

“N-no, stop” Peter tried “I don’t l-like it”

His teacher actually laughed at that which made Peter shrink in on himself “I don’t care if you don’t like it. I’m the one who has control over you so you are gonna do what I say”

Peter shook his head and let more tears fall out of his eyes, “N-no”

This was all to familiar to skip, Peter thought, but in some way this was so much more worse.

His teacher didn’t listen to Peter’s weak protests. He continued what he was doing before after he ruffly moved Peter’s hands away from his crotch so he could touch Peter one last time before moving his hands back up to Peter’s hem of his underwear.

“Absolutely adorable how tiny your underwear is” Mr. Ellis pointed out which made Peter open his eyes and look down at them “Too bad The Hulk is just on your underwear right now”

That hurt. It hurt Peter so much, more than his teacher planned on it hurting Peter because he actually knows The Hulk! He knows all the Avengers and now here he was getting molested by his teacher and no one could save him.

His teacher tugged down Peter’s underwear until his penis was visible and he felt exposed. Peter tried to close his legs and cover it up so his teacher couldn’t see but after his teacher tugged his underwear so it was around his ankles he moved Peter’s hands away from himself.

Peter felt so exposed. The only other person in the whole world who had ever seen him naked before was Aunt May and Skip but Peter tried to forget about Skip and now his freaking teacher was seeing him naked. Peter let out another sob and tried to wipe the snot away on his face.

“I thought you’d be bigger, Peter” Mr. Ellis said and Peter shook at his voice “although I’m not surprised considering it doesn’t even look like you’ve even started puberty yet, if your voice and lack of pubic hair is anything to go by”

Peter didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything. He felt so weak and vulnerable with his pants pulled down to his ankles as he exposed himself to his teacher. Peter knew he was behind on puberty but the only other people who knew that was May and Tony. Peter knew that some people just develop later than others and he was just one of those people but now his teacher knew, his freaking teacher knew and it was sickening.

“You’re fifteen, correct?” His teacher asked as he looked up at Peter’s face.

Peter nodded “Y-yeah, I just turned fifteen”

His teacher looked back down at Peter’s private’s and Peter let out another sob “I wan’ go home”

Mr. Ellis actually looked sad for a second as if he was confused as to why Peter didn’t want to be with him then his face turned angry “You go home when I say so!”

Peter let out another sob and let his teacher continue to hold his hips and stare at him like he was studying Peter. After what felt like a painfully long year, his teacher tugged Peter’s underwear back up his legs and then Peter’s jeans. He did up the buckle for Peter which Peter was silently thankful for because he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to do that himself.

Peter opened his eyes and tried to ignore the look that his teacher was giving him. He just needed to get out of there now, if his legs would let him move that is.

“You’ve been so good for me, Peter. I hope you are better in class tomorrow” Mr. Ellis had the audacity to pat Peter on the arm as if he didn’t just molested him.

Peter looked towards his phone that was on the desk “I w-will. C-can I have my phone b-back now?”

His teacher reached over the desk to grab Peter’s phone and went to hand it to Peter but pulled away “Just one thing, you are not gonna tell anybody about this. Do you understand me?”

Peter nodded, fear running through his body.

“No one is to know what happened here today, if I find out that you told someone I will kill your Aunt” Peter’s face turned pale “I know your address, it’s in the books, I will go to your house and kill her right after I whisper into her ear everything that I’ve done to you. So you will not be telling anyone, understood?”

Peter nodded again. Then he remembered that he had to speak “I u-understand”

His teacher gave him a sick smile as he handed Peter his phone. Peter took it in shaky hands and took one step back, he tested how shaky his legs were to see if he would even be able to walk away and once he realized he could his steps picked up faster and faster.

Peter grabbed his backpack from his desk and swung it over his shoulder making way over to the door of the classroom. Peter noticed that it was locked and he looked over at his teacher in fear. He hated the look that his teacher was giving him and Peter held his breath as his teacher grabbed the keys from his desk and made his way over to the door and unlocking it.

Peter held his breath and put a shaky hand on the door handle to get out of there but Mr. Ellis put his large hand on the door stopping Peter from leaving “You tell no one”

Peter nodded. He didn’t know what he was gonna do he just wanted out of there. His teacher removed his hand from the door and Peter opened it.

He let out a shaky breath after be was out of the classroom. Peter kept moving on shaky legs faster and faster until he was out of the school. He had no idea what time it was but he didn’t bump into anyone in the hallway which he was thankful for.

Actually, maybe it would have been good if Peter bumped into someone because he was sure that he looked like a mess so then they would ask what’s wrong and Peter could tell them.

No, that’s wrong. Peter couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t risk his teacher going and killing May. Peter knew that Mr. Ellis could easily get Peter’s address if he really wanted to and Peter couldn’t risk that.

Peter knew he couldn’t tell anyone what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never written anything this dark before so please don’t send hate if it’s bad. Also it’s gonna get a lot worse such as the dark stuff before it gets better so be careful


	3. I need another story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you’re all having a good day/ night!! I just got back from hanging out with my friend and it was so much fun but her cousin is leaving to go back home to England tmr so he didn’t want me to leave and was crying and it’s so funny because I want nothing more to go to England and he wants nothing more than to stay here:( 
> 
> Anyways I hope you like this chapter 
> 
> WARNINGS: -panic attacks   
\- basically the aftermath of peter dealing with his teacher

Peter ran out of his school as fast as he could on his shaky legs. 

He wanted to get out of that school as fast as he could. Peter didn’t even know where he was running to he was just running. 

It was Skip all over again and Peter didn’t know what to do about it. All those years of being free from the man and now he was thrown into the hands of another. 

Peter didn’t even realize he was running in the direction of his apartment building until he saw the upcoming turn that he needed to make to get there. Peter didn’t think he could have taken the train even if he remembered to and didn’t just start running. He needed to feel free right now but free is far from what he feels at this moment. 

Peter walked up to the turn barely breathing because he was so out of breath from running so fast. It wasn’t like Peter noticed because the adrenaline kicked in but now that it was gone after Peter’s massive sprint his breath caught up to him and he was having trouble breathing. 

Peter brought his hand up to his chest and grabbed on to his sweater to try and pull it away from his chest to help him breathe but that barely made a difference. 

There was an ally way across the street that looked like no one would see Peter if he went in there so that’s exactly where Peter headed. 

Once inside the ally way Peter collapsed to his knees and screamed through his teeth. 

“Why? Why again?” Peter mumbled to no one but himself. He wasn’t even sure if he said it inside his head or if he said if out loud. Everything seemed so confusing and cloudy in his head that he wanted to scream! 

Peter didn’t even realize that he had been crying until he saw a tear drop fall off his face and onto the ground. Peter watched as more fell until there was a wet patch on the ground in front of him. 

His chest was killing him and it felt like all the air around him was disappearing no matter how hard Peter tried to suck in a breath of air his chest closed in on him and he got no air. 

Peter rolled over so that his butt was on the dirty ground and his back was leaning up against something that he guessed was a dumpster but Peter didn’t care one bit. He was so dirty now. 

Time seemed to be passing by so fast yet so slow at the same time and Peter didn’t even know how long he was with his teacher for after the bell rang because he didn’t check his phone after. 

Peter let out a sob and he shoved his head between his knees to try and relax himself but it didn’t work. Peter felt himself gag and he lifted his head up because he knew his lunch was gonna make a reappearance any second now. 

Another loud sob followed by a gag and then Peter leaned over to throw up from how scared he was and from how hard he was crying. 

Peter shut his eyes so he couldn’t look at his vomit. It made him feel even more disgusted with himself than he already did and he wanted nothing more than to not feel that way but it was too late. 

He felt broken. He felt used and useless. 

Peter tried to take a few more breaths in and thankfully his lungs allowed him to do that. After a few seconds Peter finally managed to push himself up on shaky legs and make his way out of the ally way. 

He brought his sweater sleeve up to his face to wipe away all the bodily fluids that came out of him. 

He knew he looked disgusting which was exactly how he felt. 

Peter began walking the long way back to his apartment. It was dangerous because it was in the bad part of Queens but it wasn’t like Peter cared. 

He suddenly remembered his phone that was in his pocket so Peter pulled it out trying to ignore the touches of his teacher that he still felt on him down there. 

Once his phone was pulled out Peter saw that the time was 4:13pm meaning that Peter was with his teacher getting molested for about forty minutes and then it would have taken Peter about thirty minutes to run here and get sick in the ally way. 

It was surprising to Peter because forty minutes didn’t seem all that long yet he thought for sure he would have been in that room with his teacher for at least five hours. 

Peter looked back down at his phone and saw that both Happy and Tony had texted him. 

Happy: Alright kid, just know that you and Tony are in trouble for making me drive all the way out here

Happy: get better soon

Peter didn’t find it in him anymore to see that Happy cared about hi enough to want him to get better. 

Despite it not being his fault, Peter still felt guilty for having Happy drive all the way to his school for him for no reason. 

Peter then looked to read what Tony texted him. 

Tony: awww poor Petey isn’t feeling good:( you know you could still come by the tower if you want and we could watch something 

The next text was ten minutes later. 

Tony: it’s fine if you don’t want to just text or call me when you get home so I know you’re okay

Peter felt so guilty. He was feeling really sick right now and he wanted nothing more than to just call Tony and have the man come and get him so Peter could cling onto him and never let go but Peter knew he couldn’t do that. 

Part of him wanted to just tell Tony everything that his teacher had done to him but that wasn’t even a possibility because then Peter would be putting May at risk and Peter just couldn’t have that. 

Peter looked at the last text that Tony sent. 

Tony: are you home yet, bud?

Peter looked up from the phone with his heart breaking. More tears fell from his eyes but he didn’t try and stop them from falling because he just didn’t care anymore. Peter knew that Tony cared so much about him and Peter wished so badly that he could be with Tony right now. 

The apartment was about a twenty minute walk away since Peter could just begin to see it over all the other smaller buildings. Peter knew that Aunt May would kill him if she found out that he was walking in this neighbourhood. He didn’t care though. 

Peter was just about to put his phone in his pocket when he felt it vibrate again. Peter pulled it up to his face to look at it and it was Tony again. 

Tony: hey kiddo, are you home yet because I’m gonna need you to call me so I know you’re okay

Another sob left Peter’s mouth and Peter wanted to just scream. Why did he have to be the one who his teacher molested. Why couldn’t he have just gone to Tony’s tower after school where everything would have been okay. No, Peter was selfish! Why would he even think that, he was glad it was him right because he was Spider-Man so he could deal with it! But he couldn’t, Peter knew he couldn’t. 

Peter began to type out a message to Tony to stop him from worrying. 

Peter: sorry. I’m fine I just fell asleep and just woke up. I’m sorry 

Tony replied right away. 

Tony: you scared me, kid. 

Tony: are you okay? Do you want me to come pick you up and bring you to the tower?

Peter smiled at that despite everything going on. 

Peter: no thanks tony. I’m probably just gonna go back to bed soon anyways

Tony: Okay Pete, text or call me if you need anything 

Peter didn’t respond to the text. He didn’t feel like lying to Tony anymore because it made him feel even more disgusting and sick. 

He pocketed his phone and began to make his way back to his apartment. Peter didn’t rush because no one would be there for him anyways. He didn’t know if that made him happy or not. He really wanted some comfort from Aunt May but he didn’t think he could lie to her all night so Peter decided that he was glad that he was home alone. 

It felt like all too quickly Peter was making his way upstairs to his apartment. He really didn’t want to feel trapped in an elevator right now so the stairs was the next best thing.

For once Peter was thankful that Aunt May wouldn’t be home. Usually Peter hated it when he was alone in the apartment because he always liked it when he had someone there to talk to since he had a problem being alone but right now that is exactly what Peter wants.

Peter opened his apartment door not even bothering to lock it behind him. He could care less right now about that because all he wanted was go into a nice long and hot shower to wash his teachers filthy hands off of him. Off of him in places that his teachers hands should never even come close to. 

Peter felt disgusting. 

He knew from all of the showers that he took when Skip was hurting him that the shower never actually made him feel better after, maybe it did a little bit but what Peter learned was that what made him feel better was Aunt May and Uncle Ben but it took Peter so long even then to even gain the courage to tell them about it. 

That was with both of his Aunt and Uncle being alive. Now it was just Aunt May and Peter felt so guilty for even telling her about this because he didn’t want her to have to worry even more about him or even have to feel guilty herself for not protecting Peter. Peter couldn’t risk that. 

Even the fact that now it was just him and Aunt May. Peter felt sick even thinking about telling his Aunt and burdening her with this. 

Peter suddenly thought of Tony because he knows that he has Tony now and that Tony would protect him but after that Peter still felt like Tony wouldn’t want to deal with a stupid little kid who couldn’t even stand up for himself to some stupid teacher who was weaker than him because Peter is Spider-Man! He shouldn’t have let that man touch him like that and take advantage of him even though in the moment Peter felt so helpless and scared. 

Peter felt himself gag so he quickly dropped his bag in the middle of the living room and ran into his bathroom to kneel by the toilet seat. After a gags nothing came up so Peter flushed the toilet anyways and sat back against the tile wall. 

It was cold on his back and it felt really good even though his thin sweater so Peter rolled on his side so he could put his forehead onto the cold tile. 

Peter didn’t know how long he lied there for but all he could think about was the fact that it was Skip happening all over again and that scared Peter more than anything. He knew how his body had basically shut down while Skip was in his life and he pushed everyone away and the thing that scared Peter about this whole situation with his teacher was the fact that he felt powerless. 

Peter knew he couldn’t tell anyone about this whole thing that happened. He didn’t even know if it would happen again!

His head was killing him with everything running through it and all that Peter knew was that he desperately needed that shower more than anything right now. 

Despite feeling sick to his stomach at every movement his body was making, Peter stood up with the help of the counter and managed to get into a standing position. 

The last thing Peter wanted to do was take off his pants and unbuckle them but there was no other way to get clean in the shower, unless Peter took a shower with his jeans on but he shook his head as soon as the thought came to his mind because that was ridiculous. 

Peter took a breath and moved his shaky hands to undo the buckles on his pants and then slid them down his ankles getting flashbacks of his teacher doing the same thing only hours before. Peter quickly tugged his underwear down and then kicked it off his legs and tossed them into a corner of the bathroom. 

It made Peter sick to look at so he grabbed the bath mat and covered the clothing with it and once it was covered Peter let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Peter got off his sweater turning on the shower really quickly and jumping in. It was really hot at first and Peter reached to add some cold to it but he stopped himself and sank down to his knees as the boiling water rushed over his body. 

He didn’t know if he was crying or it was the water streaming down his face. Probably both. 

It was awhile until Peter got out of the shower. He would have stayed longer to try and wash away the dirty feeling that still roamed his body but the hot water was getting colder and colder so it forced Peter to get out. 

Peter stood there shivering outside of the shower. He looked up at the mirror thankful that it was covered in steam because the last thing he wanted to see was his reflection in the mirror looking as disgusting as he feels. 

It took every ounce of strength Peter had left to grab his towel and actually leave the bathroom. 

The hallway was freezing cold and Peter felt so vulnerable standing there in nothing but a towel, as if his teacher would come out of the kitchen and start touching him again. 

That thought alone which was what caused Peter to get quickly to his bedroom where he didn’t feel completely safe but a lot more safer than standing in the hallway. 

Peter held onto his towel tight so it didn’t fall and expose ant parts of him. He looked around his bedroom to try and find something to wear to bed but his eye caught the window. 

Something about it made Peter feel vulnerable. 

Ever since Peter became Spider-Man he had always kept the window open even if he wasn’t out fighting crime. Something about it making him feel free, like he cold go out as Spider-Man anytime he wants even if he was just sitting there at his desk doing his homework. Having that window open basically meant freedom but Peter didn’t feel free anymore. He felt tied down by his teacher like his teacher could tell him to do anything and he’d do it because the fear controlled him when he was in that situation. 

Without even thinking about it any longer Peter walked over to his window and shut it. 

The lock that clicked shut was the sound of his freedom leaving Peter’s life. 

A tear fell down Peter’s face and then another and another until he was silently crying. The worst part about this was that he was alone. No one would be there to hear Peter’s cries for help or even see him. He was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the first fic I wrote where May is actually a good Aunt towards Peter because all my other fics she’s an evil person. Oops


	4. It could be brighter than tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is out so late. I tried to get it out on Wednesday but I had nooo time to write. Anyways I hope you guys like this chapter

Peter checked the time and saw that it was only 9:23pm and he didn’t go to bed to at least 10:30pm so it was way too early to be going to bed now but Peter was feeling sick to his stomach so he crawled into his bed and pulled his blankets tight up to his body so that only his nose and eyes were visible. 

Tears were slipping out of Peter’s eyes and falling into his hair and rolling onto his pillow soaking it under him. 

Peter didn’t worry about having to quiet the sobs that escaped his lips because he knew he was home alone and that he would be for some time. 

That thought made Peter feel equally happy about being alone and sad at the same time. He was alone. Maybe if Aunt May came home Peter would be strong enough to tell May but he heard his teachers voice at the back of his head telling him that he’d kill Aunt May if Peter told anyone what happened.

Peter just wanted some comfort but he knew he wouldn’t get any because there was no one there to actually give it to him and that thought alone sent Peter into a panic attack. 

He had no one there to help him with what his teacher did to him. Peter felt his breaths get faster and faster and his hands start to sweat and it felt like his chest was caving in on him so Peter grabbed onto his chest desperately to try and get himself to calm down but it wasn’t helping. 

Peter didn’t even know how tomorrow was gonna be. Would his teacher make him take off his pants again or maybe he’s gonna do something else to Peter. Maybe this was just a one time thing. Peter sat up in his bed and tried to get his chest to stop squeezing his lungs so hard so he could get some air into his airways. 

No matter how hard Peter tried he couldn’t suck in a breath of air and he felt his vision blur but he wasn’t sure if it was from his tears or the lack of oxygen going into his body. 

Just then Peters phone started vibrating on his nightstand table. The sudden noise scared Peter but he reached over despite not being able to breathe and focus. 

Peter saw who was calling and immediately relaxed at who it was. 

Tony. 

Peter hit the answer button “Hey, kid. Just checking in to see how you’re doing, I know Aunt May is working until morning so I was wondering if you wanted me to come get you, it’s late and a school night and all but if you’re not feeling well then I can keep you home from school tomorrow”

Peter immediately felt himself relax and his chest was opening up and letting him take air into his lungs. 

“No-“ Peter cut himself off because he realized he sounded like he had just been crying, even though he had and a panic attack on top of that “No, I’m fine, I Uh, I’m going to b-bed now”

Peter felt horrible for lying to Tony but he had no other choice. He debated telling Tony right now but the fear of what would happen stopped him. 

Tony sounded sad when he spoke next adding onto Peters guilt “Alright, Pete. Just know if you change your mind or if you need anything that I’m here”

Peter placed his head on his pillow and nodded into it. He remembered Tony couldn’t see him so he verbally responded “I-I will”

“Okay, night, kid. Get better soon” Tony then hung up the phone and Peter was alone again. 

Peter wrapped the blankets tight around his body to try and feel safer as he let the tears fall and he cried himself to sleep. 

.  
.  
.

Peter woke up in a cold sweat. 

He sat up in his bed and looked around to make sure that his nightmare wasn’t actually real. 

It was still dark in his room so Peter looked at the time and saw that it was only 12:47am so Peter was barely asleep for three hours. 

Peter rolled over in his bed and went to lie back down to try and fall asleep again but he felt something wet and cold between his legs and he doubted it was from his sweat. 

Peter really hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was so in one brave motion he lifted the blankets off of him and saw the wet patch that spread from between his legs and the bed sheets under him as well as on his shirt a bit. 

The sight caused Peter to let out a sad sob. He had just wet the bed. At fifteen years old! 

The last time Peter wet the bed had been years ago while Skip was happening. It took awhile for him to stop wetting the bed but both Aunt May and Uncle Ben had always been there to help him with it. 

Now Peter was alone. How was he supposed to deal with a wet bed by himself? 

Everything was too much and Peter couldn’t take it. Tears were falling freely down Peter’s cheeks but he didn’t even try and wipe them away because he knew it would be useless because they would just come back. 

Peter didn’t know how long he was sitting there for as he cried into his pillow but it was enough for the urine to start to feel itchy and irritated on his crotch and legs. No matter how uncomfortable it was Peter couldn’t get himself to move out of his bed. 

He felt paralyzed lying there in his bed. Peter had never had to deal with anything like this by himself before and he knew he couldn’t do it. It was too much to handle and he was just exhausted and everything was starting to hurt. 

Peter let out a terrible sob that sounded like he was dying. He sucked in a breath and removed his face from his now soaked pillow. 

Part of Peter wanted to wait until Aunt May came back so she could help him and he could just blame it on a really bad nightmare since she knew that Peter got those a lot but he knew that if he waited that long he would definitely get some sort of rash from the urine sitting on his legs for so long. Plus he didn’t want May to know. No one could know. 

Peter stood up off his bed ignoring the pain already between his legs as his skin rubbed up against his pyjama pants. Peter turned around and saw that there was a giant wet patch on his bed so he ripped the blankets off the bed throwing them onto the floor so he could get to his sheets to wash them. 

Once Peter had his sheets he piled them into a ball and walked to the laundry room to begin a load of laundry at freaking 12am just because he had to wet the bed. Peter quickly took off his pants and his top and threw them into the washer and shutting the lid. 

Peter felt exposed standing there in his laundry room with no clothes on. Even if no one was home so no one would see him if he dashed to his bedroom he still didn’t feel comfortable so Peter looked around for something to cover himself with. Finding a towel that was in a clean pile of laundry, Peter wrapped it tight around himself and went back into the safety of his own room shutting the door behind him. 

Peter had to double check that the window was still locked so that no one could have climbed in while he was out of his room. 

The irritation between his legs was screaming at Peter to wash the urine away so Peter quickly washed off in the shower and then got out and put on fresh pyjamas. 

Peter knew he had to keep himself busy while he waited for his sheets and pyjamas to be washed because he couldn’t risk falling asleep and May finding them before he got the chance to hide the evidence. 

It was hard for Peter to think about anything else but his teacher. He kept getting flashes of his teachers hand on his private area and he kept having to open his eyes and look around to make sure that he wasn’t actually in his classroom again. 

Peter didn’t even realize he was sitting at his desk chair trying to forget everything that had just happened when he heard the laundry buzzer go off telling Peter that it was done. 

Peter made his way into the laundry room and put the sheets and pyjamas into the dryer. He hoped it wouldn’t take too long for them to be dried.

Aunt May said she would be home around early morning but Peter never knew what that meant. It could be either 3am early morning or 7am early morning when Peter was getting up for school. If he was even gonna go back to bed after this. 

There was a basket of folded clean clothes that looked really comfortable to sit on and wait until the clothes were done drying so Peter sat on it and folded his legs up to wrap his arms around his body. 

However the next day at school would go had Peter worried and even though it was still a few hours away the anticipation felt like the worst part of it all. 

Peter wondered what Tony was doing right now and if the man was sleeping or not. Peter would give anything to be working in the lab right now with Tony to try and forget everything that had happened at school with his teacher. No matter how hard Peter tried to think about something else his mind just kept going back to his teachers hands on him where no hands should ever be but his own. 

Peter felt himself drifting off to sleep with those same thoughts making knots in his mind so they would never leave. The fear of what was gonna happen also on his mind as Peter drifted off into a deep sleep. 

Surprisingly, Peter didn’t have any nightmares when he was abruptly woken up by the drier buzzing to alert Peter that it was done. 

Peter felt between his legs to see if it was wet and thankfully it was dry. He wasn’t asleep for very long anyways but Peter didn’t think this would be just a one time thing which scared him. 

His sheets were put back on his bed and his now clean pyjamas were put in his drawer. Peter was too scared to fall back asleep in case it happened again and this time he wouldn’t make it until Aunt May got home so he couldn’t risk that. 

Peter checked his phone and saw that it was 2:34am and he had to get up at 7am for school so only a few more hours. It was enough time to go to sleep but Peter didn’t want that. He knew he’d be extra tired tomorrow but that was the least of his worries. 

Peter lied down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t understand what he had done in his life to deserve everything that happened to him. First his parents dying at such a young age that he doesn’t even remember them then Skip happened, that was so hard to even understand what was happening because Peter was too young to know what Skip was doing to him so he didn’t understand it then his Uncle Ben died and things were hard to deal with but they were good for awhile after Tony came into Peters life and now this whole thing with his teacher happened and Peter just feels used and all alone. 

Sometimes Peter just wishes he wasn’t born so then he wouldn’t have to go through life where the world seems to hate him and take everything away from him. 

He stopped feeling that way for awhile and not really since Tony came into his life but now Peter was feeling the same way since before Tony and it scared him. 

Peter didn’t know how long he was lying in his bed for but he heard the front door to his apartment opening and Peter knew it was Aunt May but part of him still told him that it wasn’t Aunt May and that his teacher had come for him. 

Peter quickly shoved the blankets over his head and curled into a ball hoping that it was May and nothing else. His breathing picked up when his bedroom door was being opened and he listened to the foot steps coming closer and closer to him. 

Peter smelt Mays perfume that always relaxed him and reminded him of home so he knew it was May in his room and not his teacher or anyone else that was gonna hurt him. 

May reached out and went to run her hand through Peters soft curls but Peter couldn’t stop the flinch that scared both him and May. 

“Oh I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to wake you up” May sounded guilty but Peter didn’t wanna say anything so he just peeked an eye out at her and then rolled over on the bed. 

May leaned down and kissed Peters hair before leaving.

Peter didn’t get any sleep the rest of that night. 

It wasn’t like he was trying to sleep because he didn’t want to have to deal with anymore accidents or nightmares so Peter thought it was better not to sleep which he knew he would regret later in the day when he was a walking zombie. 

As the time past and the hours got closer and closer to the start of school, Peter felt the anxiety rising in him. It was getting worse by the hour and Peter knew it wouldn’t be getting any better any time soon. 

Before Peter knew it, it was 7am meaning that he had to start getting ready for school. 

It took Peter longer than he expected to actually get himself out of bed and into the washroom but once he did he went pee and brushed his teeth then went to his drawers to look for something to wear today. 

Peter wanted to wear track pants to feel comfortable but those could easily be taken off so he wanted to wear something he’d feel safer in. Peter picked out a pair of his jeans that at least had buckles on them so that they would be harder to take off in case his teacher decides to do what he did again to Peter. 

Peter didn’t like feeling vulnerable by taking off all his clothes at once even if it was only his Aunt in the apartment it still didn’t fit right with Peter to be naked in his bedroom so he grabbed what he was gonna wear today and locked himself in the bathroom to get dressed for the day. 

When Peter came out he went into the kitchen to get some breakfast but he didn’t really think he could stomach anything right now. 

Now that Peter thought about it, he did feel really hungry considering he hadn’t eaten since lunch time at school yesterday and he threw that up in the alley way after his teacher molested him. 

Peter found a note stuck on the fridge that Aunt May always left for him whenever she worked late or wasn’t there. 

Peter,  
Don’t forget to eat something healthy before school.  
Tony saids you aren’t feeling well and wants you to go over to the tower after school, Happy’s gonna pick you up.  
I’ll see you later tonight  
Love, May

Peter smiled at Mays note because they always made him feel really happy and loved even with everything going on but his smile fell at what May said about him going over to the tower to see Tony. 

He wanted nothing more than to see the man but he knew if he did then Tony would definitely see right through him and he’ll find out that something is wrong and Peter knew he couldn’t tell anyone so now Peter has to text Tony and tell him he can’t go over to his house. 

Peter ignored the note and didn’t eat anything. He knew it would just be coming up anyways when he steps foot in his school again. 

Instead Peter grabbed his backpack from the floor where May must have moved it from where Peter left it on the ground.

Peter knew he never did his homework that he was supposed to do but he didn’t care. He could care less about that right now.

As much as Peter wanted to stay home he knew he couldn’t because if he did then his teacher would think that he told someone and then he would kill Aunt May and Peter couldn’t have that so he put his shoes on and left. 

.  
.  
.

It was colder out than it was yesterday and the sweater Peter was wearing was even thinner than the one he wore the day before but Peter didn’t care. 

When he stepped into his school, Peter felt like a ton of bricks were deposited onto his shoulders that were weighing him down and causing him to have to breathe faster. 

He forced his legs to start moving so he could get to his locker before the bell rang. 

Everything seemed like it was moving in slow motion as Peter was making his way to his locker. Every loud bang or voice caused him to flinch and grab onto his backpack strap to gain focus on the floor so he didn’t face plant onto the ground. 

When Peter finally got to his locker he put his books away and felt his phone vibrate.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see a text from Tony. 

Tony: hope you’re feeling better, Pete. Change of plans, I’m gonna pick you up after school and take you back to the tower

Peter felt sick to his stomach at the text. He couldn’t see Tony today. It was all too much happening at once, being back in the school and not knowing what is gonna happen last period when he sees his teacher again after he... after he brought back some very horrible memories that Peter has been working very hard to forget. Now with Tony texting him and it was just too much. 

Peter realized he was squeezing his phone so hard that the screen was turning white from the pressure so he quickly let go. When Peter looked up from his phone he saw that the hallways were now empty. 

He had to blink a few times because just two seconds ago the hallway was crowded with students and now it was empty. He turned his phone on again and saw that classes had started over five minutes ago, but he didn’t even hear the bell ring. 

Confused, Peter grabbed the books that he needed, shoving it in his bag and swinging it around his shoulders again before shutting his locker and making his way to his first period class. 

Peter tried not to think about what happened in the hallway. It was like he just blacked out for five minutes and he didn’t know why and that scared him. 

Peter got to his class and slipped inside hoping that his teacher wouldn’t say anything or even notice him walk in and sit down but Peter was wrong “Glad you could make it, Mr. Parker. Please take a seat and take out your books”

“Sorry” Peter mumbled quietly. He didn’t think that his teacher even heard because he was more trying to focus on the fact that his head was killing him probably from the not getting any sleep and the fact that he was back in the school. 

His stomach was starting to hurt too but Peter didn’t think about that as much. It was easy to mask the pain in his stomach when his head felt ten times worse.

Peter was feeling the anticipation again. He had absolutely no idea what would happen in his last period class. He debated on not going to it but that would just make his teacher suspicious so he had to go. He knew he had to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked that... I wrote most of this chapter over a week ago so when I went to finish it I completely forgot what I wrote and what I had planned to do with this chapter so I read it again to edit it and basically what I wanted to do with this chapter is gonna have to be in the next chapter because I didn’t wanna force it into this chapter and make it extremely long..... I hope you guys don’t mind waiting a few more days
> 
> I’m gonna try and post the next update on Wednesday:):) 
> 
> Also... leave a comment what you think is gonna happen with peter and his teacher.. will be go to class or skip the class? Maybe peter is gonna call tony? Who knows;) actually I know


	5. Even the best fall down sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: This chapter is a tad worse than the last chapter in terms of the sexual assault and what Peters teacher does to him and makes Peter do
> 
> The chapters are gonna be getting worse before they get better so just make sure to stay safe and don’t read if these things trigger you
> 
> Anyways I hope you guys like it:)

It was lunch time when Peter decided to text Tony back. 

He was actually surprised that the man had left him alone and hadn’t tried to spam his phone or call him to see why it was taking so long for him to answer. Part of Peter kinda wished that Tony would actually do that because it was nice to feel like someone actually cared and worried about him so much. 

Peter left his class to go to his locker and put his books away before he would meet up with Ned in the cafeteria for lunch. 

The thought of having to pretend to be okay in front of Ned made Peter feel sick and mentally debate with himself if he should even go to the cafeteria to find Ned. The thought of having to put a fake smile on and act in front of Ned as well as be around all the students made Peter feel sick to his stomach. 

Thankfully he had nothing in his stomach to actually throw up but that was a good and a bad thing. It was good because he wouldn’t be running to the toilet to throw up but it was bad because he had no food in his stomach and hadn’t for almost 24 hours now. He felt sick.

After Peter was done at his locker he leaned against it and decided to text Tony back. 

Peter debated going. He really wanted to. He knew he shouldn’t because Tony would definitely know something was up but he felt the need to see Tony outweighed the fear of Tony finding out so he typed out a response. 

Peter: ok! I’ll see you after school then 

Before Peter could hit send his phone started ringing and Peter saw that it was Ned who was calling him. 

Peter answered the phone and Ned’s voice rang through his ears “Hey, Peter. Where are you? I’m in our spot in the caf?” 

Peter suddenly felt sick. He didn’t want to act fake in front of Ned “I’m sorry, Ned, I uh, I have to finish a project for my next class so I can’t eat lunch with you”

Ned sounded sad “Aw, dude. It’s fine. Tomorrow then?” 

Peter nodded his head “Yeah, tomorrow”

Peter hung up the phone before Ned had the chance to say anything else. He didn’t feel bad for Ned for long because the unsent text message appeared on his phone. 

How could he act fake around Tony when he didn’t even have the energy to do it in front of Ned? 

Peter deleted the text and decided to text Tony something else. A lie. 

Peter: I’m sorry Tony but I can’t come over to the tower today. I feel better but I have a big assignment due tmr

Peter felt horrible for lying. Tony was only trying to be there for him but Peter kept lying to the man. 

Tony texted back right away as if he was sitting in front of his phone and waiting for Peter’s text. 

Tony: Too bad. How about you bring it over so I could help you with it?

Peter: thanks but I think I can do it on my own. I kinda just wanna get it over with. Maybe tmr? 

Tony: I have a boring meeting I have to go to tomorrow and probably won’t be back until late. Ask Auntie if I could pick you up after my meeting if you’d like 

Peter turned off his phone and put it in his pocket. He didn’t want to answer Tony’s last text right now. 

It was the same thing with Ned, he was lying to those around him who were only trying to be there for him. 

As much as Peter hated it, he felt happy when Tony said he couldn’t hang out tomorrow because that meant another day of not having to lie but now Tony wanted to see him after his meeting. Everything was just too much. 

Peter stood up from leaning against his locker and walked down the stairs to go to the back doors so he could get some fresh air. 

His headache was only getting worse but at least his stomach stopped feeling so empty and sick.

Peter didn’t realize he was sitting against the wall all of lunch until the bell was ringing very loudly above him which caused Peter to jump to his feet and put his hand over his heartbeat feeling it beating very fast. After a few calming breaths, Peter was able to walk back into the school and to his third period class.

The class went by really fast because Peter didn’t want it to. As much as he wanted to get the day over with and go home, he was scared of what would happen in his next class with Mr. Ellis that Peter didn’t want this class to end. 

He hoped it would go by very slowly but it didn’t. Before Peter knew it it was time to go to his last period class. 

The students were walking in the hallway all too quickly for Peter’s liking. 

Peter wanted to take his time between the class but that just wasn’t an option for him at the moment. 

He felt his heart beating really fast the closer he got to his class. He rounded the corner and could see the class at the end of the hallway. Peter still had time to run. He still had time to get out of this school and call Tony to come pick him up and take him to his tower where he would be safe. 

But that wasn’t an option for Peter. 

He had to go to class. He couldn’t risk not going. If it meant that he knew Aunt May would still be safe and nothing would happen to her then he had to go. Didn’t he? 

The bell rang just as Peter entered the class. He stopped at the doorway and looked towards the front of the class where his teacher was looking at him with a smug smile. He looked like he was surprised to see Peter as if he didn’t think he would come and now that Peter was standing there looking happy. In a sick twisted way. 

Peter tried to move his feet towards his desk but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. It took almost everything out of him to actually start getting his legs to work and his feet to unstick to the ground so he could make his way to his desk. 

Peter looked away from his teacher but he felt Mr. Ellis’ eyes still on him. 

When Peter sat down he didn’t move. He didn’t even look up from his desk. He could still feel his teachers eyes on him and it made him feel naked despite being fully clothed. 

It made him feel vulnerable like at any moment Mr. Ellis could walk over to him and touch Peter any way he’d like and Peter had to let him. 

“Good afternoon, class” Mr. Ellis spoke. Peter flinched at the voice but tried not to show it “I know you are all very excited for the end of class, I know I am, but let’s try and focus on the lesson”

Peter didn’t like how that sounded. All hopes of nothing happening after class went down the drain in a single sentence. 

Everything that Peter had been holding onto for nothing to happen after class was gone. He was here and there was no getting out of it. 

There was a loud bang on his desk which caused Peter to look up abruptly. He saw his teacher standing close to him with his face in a scowl “You seemed distant during my lesson again, Peter. Do I need to have another chat with you after class?”

Peter swallowed. He wanted to shake his head no but he knew that it wasn’t exactly a question at all but rather a demand. Peter looked at his teachers eyes for a split second before looking away quickly. 

“Stay after class, Peter. We need to have another talk” Mr. Ellis said before tapping Peter’s desk and walking back to the front of the classroom. 

Peter let out a breath be didn’t know he was holding after his teacher wasn’t standing so close to him anymore. Peter realized that he was gripping his desk so hard that he was surprised it didn’t break. 

The time showed that there was five minutes till the end of the day and now the anticipation was unbearable. Peter felt his chest tighten to the point where he actually thought he was gonna faint from the lack of air going into his lungs. He had to look outside at the tree tops and focus on a blue bird that was singing on a tree branch. 

The blue bird reminded Peter of his Spider-Man costume. Both were free. Both could fly through the air and go wherever they wanted without anyone to say no.

The only difference now was the fact that Peter was stuck in this classroom. The blue bird was so close to him yet so far away. 

Peter heard all his classmates packing up their bags and making their way to stand by the door and wait for the bell to ring but Peter didn’t look. He didn’t even move. Not even when the bell rang. Not even after he heard the last of the students exit the class. He only moved when his teacher called his name at the front of the class. 

“Mr. Parker” Peter flinched but didn’t look up at his teacher “Can you join me at the front”

Again, wasn’t a question but a demand. 

Peter looked towards his teacher. He didn’t say anything but he did find the strength to stand up out of his seat and walk on shaky legs over to his teacher. 

Peter still didn’t look up at his teacher. He didn’t know if it was fear or what but he just didn’t. 

He walked to the front of Mr. Ellis’ desk and only then did he look up at him. 

Mr. Ellis stood up from his chair and walked towards the classroom door as he spoke “Did you tell anyone?”

Peter swallowed. Then he swallowed again. He tried to open his mouth to speak but he found that his mouth was dry like there was a table spoon of peanut butter in there. His teacher shut the door and locked it making Peter flinch again. He looked back at Peter questionably after having received no answer. If Peter didn’t know any better he would think that Mr. Ellis actually looked scared when he walked the distance from the door back to his desk. 

He raised his eyebrows at Peter “Well...?”

Peter swallowed again. He shook his head “N-no. I d-didn’t tell a-anyone”

Mr. Ellis hummed. His face relaxed and he sank back in his desk chair and looked at Peter for a few seconds before motioning for him to stand on the side of his desk “Come stand over here so I can get a look at you” 

Peter reluctantly did so. It took him longer than his teacher would have liked, judging by the mans face of annoyance, to come stand next to him but he managed to do it. 

His teacher rotated his chair so that he was facing Peter fully now and then lifted his arms up to grab Peter’s waist. 

Peter violently flinched at the touch and let out a whimper while trying to move away but his teachers grip just got tighter “Why are you so scared? I’m just touching you”

Just touching you, Peter thought. Yeah, because what happened yesterday after school was ‘just touching’ and what happened last night due to the touching was ‘just bed wetting’ 

Peter didn’t answer the question but his teacher must have wanted an answer because he shook his waist a bit almost making Peter crumble to the ground “I-I just don’t-don’t like it”

Mr. Ellis didn’t respond and Peter didn’t know if he liked that better or if it was even more scary because he didn’t really know if his teacher was mad or not. 

He let go of Peter’s waist which caused Peter to stumble forward a bit meaning that he was leaning against his teachers hands too much. That thought scared Peter because he didn’t even realize he was doing it. 

He watched with fearful eyes as he teacher opened his desk drawer and pulled out what looked like a bottle of cream and set it on the desk before moving to his own pant buckles and started to undo them. 

Peter stumbled backwards in fear of what was about to happen. His teacher looked up at him and smiled almost like he liked Peter’s fear. 

“Come over here,” Mr. Ellis said. He got his pants pulled down just a bit but enough to reveal his black boxers and his large crotch area that Peter refused to look at. 

Peter shook his head and slowly moved closer to the door of the classroom. Although there was no where to go because the door was locked and the key was on the desk. 

“Get over here or so help me!” Peter flinched at his teachers voice but he walked over closer to the man in fear of what would happen if he didn’t. 

When he was in reach his teacher grabbed his wrist and dragged him so that he was standing right between his legs. 

“Have you ever seen another guys penis before, Peter?” Peter shook his head. He shut his eyes tight and refused to open them no matter what. It was true, he’d never seen... that before because why would he. There was no reason for him to see that. 

His teacher continued “Do you want to see mine? I think it’s only fair that I saw yours and now you get to see mine” 

Again, Peter shook his head. He kept his eyes closed tight and refused to open them. 

His teacher clearly didn’t like this “Open your eyes, Peter” 

Again, Peter did not. Suddenly there was a hand on his crotch grabbing it and squeezing which caused Peter to open his eyes in fear and move away. He moved his hands down to protect himself from his teachers hands on his private area and thankfully it worked. His teacher looked satisfied that it worked and Peter couldn’t stop his heart from beating all to quickly and his breaths coming out too shaky. 

“I want you to touch me now” Mr. Ellis grabbed Peter’s hands over to himself and as much as Peter wanted to pull away he didn’t. His hands were suddenly on his teachers... thing and his hands were over his own forcing him to squeeze him. 

Peter shut his eyes out of instinct but then remembered what happened last time he did that so he opened his eyes and let out a whimper. 

“Take me out of my underwear” His teacher said in a deep voice at the same time as he removed his own hands from Peter’s, leaving him to continue the movement on his own. 

Peter tried not to think about it as he slowly moved his hands up to the elastic of his teachers underwear and began to pull it down until his teachers hard penis was visible. Peter subconsciously moved his hands away and tried to take a step back but he just bumped into the desk behind him, closing him in. 

The laugh that escaped his teachers lips sent shivers down Peter’s spine. He wanted to close his eyes but refused to. He looked up from his teachers penis and up at his eyes. 

When Peter made eye contact he immediately looked away. His teacher looked at Peter like he was proud of him for accomplishing something impossible. Peter got a flash of Tony and then shut his eyes and shook his head to try and get them thought out of his head. 

Tony looked at him like that when he was proud of him.

In no way ever would Tony ever do anything like this to him. Ever. But Mr. Ellis looked proud of him and Tony always did so Peter just, no no no...

Peter began shaking his head “No, no, no-“

“No what?” Peter opened his eyes and looked at his teacher realizing that he was speaking out loud. 

“I want to go h-home” Peter said. That wasn’t a complete lie. Anywhere would be better than here. 

“You can. After you do something for me” Mr. Ellis grabbed his hands again and moved them towards himself. Peter pulled away harder this time but still let his teacher control him. 

Peter knew he was stronger than this man. He could defend himself but why did he find it so hard to? 

As soon as Peter’s hands touched his teachers... thing, his teacher let out a loud moan and threw his head back in pleasure. Peter didn’t know what to do so he just kept his hands there but his teacher wanted more “Touch me like you’d touch yourself”

Peter stopped. He never... he never touched himself there like that. He knew that probably most boys his age did or at least started to but he just didn’t. Part of him was scared to see what would happen after but it was mostly because he had no interest and he’d rather spend his free time working in the lab with Tony or out as Spider-Man, not... touching himself. 

His teacher sensed his hesitation and spoke up “Have you ever touched yourself, Peter?”

Peter swallowed. He shook his head as he stared straight ahead at the bottom of his teachers shirt. 

“So you’ve never masturbated before?” Peter shook his head again feeling a blush creep up on his cheeks. He didn’t know why he was embarrassed at that but he was. 

“Hmm, I’m not surprised. You’re an innocent boy” His teacher smirked at him “I love it” 

“I-I don’t want, I just...” Peter trailed off. He didn’t even know what he was saying so he shut his mouth. 

“It’s okay, I’ll teach you how to do it” Mr. Ellis pushed Peter’s hands away which Peter was thankful for but then his teacher wrapped his hand around his own penis and started moving up and down on it and Peter watched. He didn’t know what was happening but he looked away because everything was just too much. Too much. 

“Look here” He grabbed Peters cheek and pushed his head so that he was watching again “Do you got it?”

Peter nodded. He was about to start following what his teacher was doing but then a bottle was pushed in front of his hands. Peter looked up at his teacher confused “It’s lube. To make it more slippery and enjoyable” 

Peter let his teacher put some on his hands then he rubbed it in feeling disgusting with himself. He hadn’t even done this to himself yet and now he was gonna be touching some random guys penis. 

He managed to force himself to put his hands around his teachers thing and tried to copy what his teacher showed him only seconds before. Peter wasn’t so sure if he was doing a good job but his teacher threw his head back again and let out another loud moan. 

After a few strokes his teacher lifted his head up and reached up to touch Peters hair “Hmm, soft hair”

Peter let go of his teachers penis and stepped back. No, no way was he gonna let this man touch his hair like that. Only Tony ever touched his hair like that and he wouldn’t have that ruined for him. 

“Don’t touch me” Peter was surprised by his own voice. It came out slightly scared but more powerful than anything. 

His teacher looked surprised at this but he only let it show for a few seconds before his face turned into something more angry. 

He grabbed one of Peter’s wrist and yanked him forward “Don’t you ever talk to me that way ever again. Ever!”

Peter flinched. He couldn’t stop the fear from taking over his body and his heart from beating all too fast again. He felt like he could almost hear it in his chest. 

His teacher pulled him even closer and squeezed his wrist “Do you understand me?”

Peter nodded but his teacher wanted more “Use your words, Peter” 

“Y-yes, sir” Peter spoke fearfully. 

His teacher let go of his wrist and this time Peter stumbled backwards because he was leaning away his teacher. 

“Continue what you were doing, Peter” Mr. Ellis said and Peter got chills down his spin at his teacher using his name like this. 

Peter reluctantly put his hands back where they were. His teacher didn’t put his head back again in pleasure which scared Peter he wasn’t doing it right. 

“Your hands are so tiny” Mr. Ellis noted. Peter ignored him “I’m so much bigger than you aren’t I, you’re still growing and developing so don’t worry, you’ll get there some day” 

Peter ignored him again and didn’t say anything. He didn’t know why his teacher thought he’d be worried about that but apparently his teacher was thinking about it and it made Peter really sick. 

Peter continued with what he was doing for a little bit longer. Or maybe a lot longer but he didn’t know how long and he just wanted it to be over. It was almost like his whole body was working on auto pilot right now. 

Only when Mr. Ellis lifted his hand up, Peter thought he was gonna touch his hair again so he flinched backwards and held his breath expecting a hand to touch his hair but instead Mr. Ellis grabbed a cloth behind him. 

“You can stop now. You did so well, Peter” Peter let go immediately. His hands felt dirty both from what he just did and from the slimy feeling from the bottle of stuff. 

His teacher handed him the cloth which Peter took confused. His teacher explained “To wipe your hands”

Peter did what he was told. Again. 

Peter stood still as his teacher stood up and tucked himself back into his underwear and pulled his pants back up. Peter didn’t want to think too soon but he hoped that he didn’t have to take off his pants or get touched by his teacher in any way. 

His teacher grabbed his briefcase and opened it up to put in the cream bottle and the cloth that he handed Peter. Peter still didn’t move even when his teacher grabbed the keys off his desk and moved to unlock the door. 

Peter could leave now. He could just grab his bag and walk out but something still stopped him from actually moving towards the door. 

“Remember, you are not to tell anyone about this, Peter” His teacher warned “Do you understand?”

Peter nodded his head “Y-yes. I understand”

“See you tomorrow then” Mr. Ellis said. Peter noticed how he said it more of a question as if he was asking if Peter would be coming to school tomorrow. Peter nodded his head, he was too scared not to come. 

He realized this whole time he was waiting for permission to leave. 

Peter walked on shaky legs over to his desk to grab his bag. He noticed that throughout the whole class he hadn’t even taken out any books. Now that Peter thinks of it he isn’t even sure what went on this entire class. 

There was no time to think about it though because Peter had to get out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I’m trying to make Peters teacher more creepy than anything so I really hope I’m portraying that well. I feel so bad for Peter and I just want him to run away from this crazy ped


	6. Tears and water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there is mention of peter starving himself. It is unintentionally at first but I just want you guys to be safe and if that triggers you then you can skip this chapter, it’s only for a few sentences but just in case. 
> 
> Anyways I’m sooo excited to write more of this fic but I am really tired right now so I’m gonna continue tmr:) 
> 
> I hope you guys like it:))

Peter didn’t even remember leaving the classroom and finding his way to the front of the school so he could leave that place. He didn’t remember even walking or maybe running, he didn’t know, all the way to his apartment building. 

What he does remember though, is his teacher forcing his hands to touch somewhere that he didn’t even want to think about right now but that was the only thing that was on his mind. 

No matter how hard Peter tried to think about something else his mind just kept going back to that and now that he thought about it his hands were... wet? 

Peter stopped walking and brought his hands that were clenched into tight fists up to look at. 

Peter didn’t even realize the whole time he had been walking to his building he had been digging his nails tightly into his palms and now they were bleeding. Badly. 

He went to go wipe the blood on his pants but then thought better of that because he knew it would stain and that Aunt May would definitely be asking questions and Peter couldn’t risk having to answer any questions. 

Peter continued to walk to his apartment building so he could get inside and take a long and hot shower to try and feel clean again. That didn’t even seem possible at this point but it was better than how he felt now. 

Anything would be better than how he felt now. 

Peter covered his hands with his sweater so no one could see the blood on them as he made his way up to his apartment door. 

Once inside, Peter listened to see if Aunt May was home. He forgot what the note had said so he wasn’t sure if May would be home or working. Peter didn’t even know if the note was from today or yesterday or... everything was too much. 

“M-May?” Peter called out carefully. His voice sounded weak and pathetic so he really hoped no one would be home to have heard that. 

When there was no answer Peter let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He felt horrible to be wishing so badly that May would be at work just so he didn’t have to fake a smile in front of her or have to lie to her again. Like he seems to be doing to everyone around him at this point. 

Peter placed his backpack neatly by the door this time so when Aunt May did come home she would have no reason to go and talk to him. After Peter did that he made his way to his bedroom so he could wash up. 

At this point there was simply no way he would feel better because no one was there for him. There was no one to tell. There was no one to save him. 

Peter shut his bedroom door and the loud sound that it made caused him to flinch and turn around to make sure that no one was in his bedroom. 

The window was unlocked and it caused Peter’s heart to nearly drop into his stomach at the sight. 

There was no way that anybody could have gotten in because they were too high up right? Plus Peter’s sure that his teacher would keep his side of their promise a promise. 

Peter doesn’t tell anyone what his teacher does to him as long as he lets his teacher continue to do so to keep his Aunt safe.

Even though Peter knew that May was just at work and she was safe, he still found it hard.

He pushed those thoughts out of his mind for the time being and went over to close his bedroom window. May must have opened it before she left for work. 

Peter looked towards his closet where his Spider-Man suit was and he debated if he should put it on or not but decided against it. How could he go out and help people when he couldn’t even help himself? 

After the window was closed and locked and then double checked that it was locked, Peter went to grab some clothes to change into after his shower but then he thought that he should just be putting his pyjamas on after and going to bed. It was too early for pyjamas though, Peter never had this problem before since he never showered this early. 

There was no choice about showering, he had to. He had to get his teachers feeling off of his hands and all over his body because it was everywhere and it was too much and...

Peter shut his eyes and shook his head to try and get the thoughts out of his mind. All he could think about was his teacher in his classroom while he touched him in places he didn’t want to be touched and made Peter touch him in places... too much. Too much. 

Peter opened his eyes and tried to focus on nothing but the bathroom. As he started walking on shaky legs to get to the shower, Peter realized that he had been holding his breath the whole time. 

When he finally let the oxygen into his lungs the burning sensation that he didn’t even realize was there, was now gone. 

Peter needed a shower, he had to have one but the thought of being naked and so vulnerable even if it was just in his apartment and if no one was home was scary to him.

He debated if he should shower in his underwear but thought better of that. It was a bad idea even if it would make him feel a little less vulnerable. 

Peter grabbed some pyjamas mainly so he didn’t have to change twice meaning more time spent naked and a towel before locking the bathroom door so no one could get in. 

Peter stepped back from the now locked bathroom door and looked at it as if it would come alive and start attacking him. If the bathroom door was locked that meant that no one could hear him or safe him when his teacher was molesting him, wait but he was at home. He was safe. 

Still, Peter didn’t feel safe with the bathroom door locked so he quickly unlocked it. 

When it was safe to do so, Peter took off his clothes and turned on the shower so he could wash off. 

No matter how much he scrubbed until his skin was red and irritated he still felt dirty and like his teachers hands never left his private area even though it was over a day ago. Now on top of that his hands were stained and it didn’t feel like the slimy feeling was ever gonna come off even if there was nothing actually there. 

“Ugh! Go away!” Peter screamed in frustration. He sank to his knees to try and tried to take in some breaths to calm himself but it wasn’t working. 

Peter didn’t know if he was crying because the water was coming down on his head and falling down his cheeks just like the tears would so he was unable to tell what was what. 

After staying bent on his knees for long enough that he started to lose feeling in his right leg and foot, Peter stood up and almost stumbled out of the shower because he head was killing him and his vision blurred. 

Peter shut the shower off and jumped out so he could grab his towel and stop the feeling at the back of his mind that screamed at him to get dressed. He wasted no time in getting his pyjamas on and barely even drying off with the towel which caused the pyjama pants to stick and cling to places on Peters legs that made him uncomfortable. 

Peter ignored it the best he could as he opened the bathroom door and walked into his bedroom. Thankfully the window was still shut meaning that no one could get in. 

The fear was building in Peter’s head no matter how hard he tried to push it away it still kept coming back.

“No ones here. No ones here. Stop being stupid, Peter, no ones here” Peter tried to tell himself over and over again. No matter how many times he told it to himself he still found it hard to believe. 

It was like deep down he knew that he was safe in his apartment building because his window was closed and locked and no one would be coming to get him but he still couldn’t bring himself to calm down. No matter how hard he tried. 

Peter finally built up enough courage to leave the bathroom and go into the kitchen to try and get something to eat. 

Peter knew he hadn’t eaten in over a day and with his fast metabolism that was like three days for him and he was definitely starting to feel it. He could even see it in his stomach a bit. It looked like he had lost some weight but maybe that was just his imagination. 

He threw up the last time he ate his lunch which was yesterday and he didn’t even try and eat today so Peter knew he had to at least try to eat something right now even if it was something small. 

Peter got into the kitchen and opened the fridge. 

Even the sight of food was making Peter feel sick to his stomach. 

There was some yogurt in the fridge that Peter debated eating but then thought better of that. His first meal in basically three days was gonna be yogurt, there was no way that would go down well. 

He knew he had to choose something quickly because his head was killing him and it felt like he was spinning. Maybe he was, he didn’t know. 

It was like when you really need to go to the bathroom and the closer you get to a toilet the more you need to go. Now, the closer Peter got to food was like the more hungry he felt and the more he felt like he was gonna tumble over.

Peter looked around and spotted two slices of pizza wrapped in saran wrap. He wasted no time grabbing them out of the fridge, unwrapping them and putting them into the microwave wave so he could heat them up. 

One minute later the microwave was beeping and Peter was flinching at the sound. 

He was so stupid for flinching at the sound of a stupid microwave beeping, how pathetic was he, Peter thought. 

For some reason that made him lose his appetite. It was either that or the fact that now all Peter could think about was his teachers hands on his penis and Peter’s hands on his teachers penis and...

Peter ran to the sink and immediately turned on the tap to wash his hands. He grabbed the dish soap and started pouring it onto his hands to make sure that it was clean. 

The soap bottle was empty before Peter even realized he had used the whole thing. He looked at the bottle in his hand confused because he doesn’t even remember using the whole thing. 

There was half a bottle of soap and now it was... empty. Oh no, stupid Peter. So stupid, he thought. 

Aunt May worked so hard and had to buy so much for Peter and for the apartment and Peter goes and does stupid things like wasting a whole bottle of dish soap just to wash his hands that weren’t even dirty. 

“No! They were dirty” Peter said out loud “My hands still are dirty! Look at them” 

Peter didn’t know who he was talking to, at first he didn’t even notice he was speaking out loud but he heard it. He heard his voice outside his head because it was loud. 

A voice at the back of Peter’s head told him to go and buy some new soap for Aunt May. He had to. He just used all her dish soap up after she works so hard. 

Peter knew he was a horrible person. It’s why he probably deserves what his teacher is doing to him. It’s why he deserved what Skip did to him. 

Peter went to his bedroom to try and find some money so he could quickly run to the store to get some dish soap. He checked under his bed but found nothing. He checked in his desk but found nothing. 

Peter knew where there would be money but he didn’t want to look there. He couldn’t. But he had to, he had no other choice. 

It wasn’t like he actually had a choice in this life anyways. 

Peter opened up his closet and found his Spider-Man suit there. It pained him to look at it which was why he tossed it in the corner of his closet and threw some clothes that were on the floor on top of it. Now that that was out of the way, Peter reached up and grabbed his shoe box from the top shelf where he knew he had some money hidden. 

Peter found some change and a crumpled $10. That would be enough to buy some new dish soap. 

.  
.  
.

Outside his apartment, Peter realized half way to the store that he forgot to change out of his pyjamas. 

All he managed to do before he left was put on some shoes and grab his coat. 

He looked down at himself and saw his star wars pyjamas that rolled up on his ankles. Peter felt the cold going right threw him which made his legs feel almost numb. Maybe that was a good feeling though. 

Peter remembered that he wasn’t even wearing any underwear because he never wore underwear to bed and that caused him to freeze on the spot. He suddenly felt so vulnerable like anyone could come and take advantage of him. 

Peter continued to walk and tried to get the thought out of his mind. No one would do that. Peter knew that no one would because there was too many people around. 

If there’s one thing that Peter learned first hand in his life time was that the world is an evil place filled with evil people. There are a lot of evil people but there are also a lot of good people. The good people always overtake the evil people. 

Such as Skip and Mr. Ellis, they are evil people. But Tony is a good person and Peter knew that even two on one, Tony could beat them both. 

That was if Peter actually told someone but he knew he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. 

Peter realized he was smiling because he was thinking of telling Tony and him beating both Skip and Mr. Ellis but he quickly wiped the smile off his face. 

Peter walked into the convenience store and began to look for the dish soap. 

He was debating if he should buy two because maybe he could use one to wash his hands with and give the other one to May. No, that was stupid, Peter thought. 

So stupid. 

“Excuse me?” Peter flinched at the voice that was speaking to him. Peter looked up to see an older woman looking at him with a weird look on her face. 

Peter relaxed after he saw that it was a girl because a girl wouldn’t hurt him. Well, she probably could but it didn’t look like she was going to. But that’s the way that Skip first looked and so did Mr. Ellis. 

Peter tried to relax because she wouldn’t hurt him. No. 

Peter saw a younger boy behind her who was grabbing onto her leg. So she must be the boys mom. The boy looked about three years old. Peter looked up at the woman and took in her face. She looked to be about Mays age. 

She had long brown hair that looked a bit knotted and greasy. Her eyes were hazel and if Peter actually looked at her face she looked really kind. 

“Are you Okay, honey?” She asked again. 

Peter wrapped his arms around himself and slightly nodded his head. 

Was he okay? No. Right now, yes, maybe. But in general? No. Definitely not okay. 

Peter looked down at his feet and saw his pyjamas that probably made him look like a lost child roaming the streets at night. 

“How old are you, sweetheart?” The woman’s voice was soft and it made Peter want to reach his arms up and hug her. 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and sank in on himself more because the woman was leaning into his personal space more and more and it was really starting to freak him out. 

“Alright, honey, do you know where your mom and dad are? I can call them for you” The women’s voice rang in Peter’s ears. She sounded like she genuinely cared but she couldn’t help Peter. 

Peter shrugged again “My mom and dad are d-dead” 

The woman flinched back for a second seeming to be surprised by Peter’s response but she quickly caught herself and now looked genuinely concerned if she didn’t before. 

“I live with my Aunt” Peter said. He had no idea why he was telling this random woman on the streets all his information but he couldn’t stop. She felt really safe for some reason. 

Even though Peter didn’t really remember his mom, this woman kinda reminded Peter if his mom. For some odd reason. 

Maybe it was his mom in the shape of a guardian angel. Maybe Peter should just continue to tell her everything and tell her about his teacher and what his teacher is doing to him so she could stop it. 

Who was he kidding, he couldn’t even stop it himself so what made Peter think that this random woman could. 

“I’m sorry sweetie. Do you know her number, I can call your Aunt for you?” The woman said again. 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and bent down to grab a bottle of soap “I just Uh, just came for soap” 

Peter squeezed through the little space that the woman left for him and went to go pay for the soap so he could get out of there. 

The woman watched as Peter paid and left and before Peter left he glanced at her through his eyelashes and saw her watching him worried. 

Peter had no time to think about that because he was out in the cold again and he had to get back to his apartment quickly. 

Not even two minutes into his walk back Peter heard someone calling his name but it sounded like he was underwater and someone was screaming at him from the surface. 

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and he was back in his teachers classroom getting forced to take his pants off-

“Peter” Someone said again and this time it was so much more loud and clear and-

“Tony?” Peter turned around and saw Tony looking down at him with a lot of concern on his face. 

“For a second I thought I had the wrong kid and I was about to be arrested for attempted child kidnapping” Tony joked. Peter didn’t laugh because he was still in shock because Tony was here. “What’s wrong? I was calling you from my car window but you acted like you didn’t even hear me. Or were you pretending not to hear me, are you mad at me or something?”

Peter took awhile to respond because he was still processing everything “What, n-no. I’m not mad at you I-I bought soap. For May” 

Peter held up the soap bottle to show Tony who looked at it confused “I can see that. Did you come all the way out here just to get her soap?”

Peter nodded his head. He looked at the soap bottle so he didn’t have to look at Tony. 

“What um, w-what are you doing here?” Peter cleared his throat because it was sounding really high pitched. 

“I could ask you the same question,” Tony began “isn’t it a little cold to be walking around in just your pyjamas, bud?” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. He was cold. He was freezing actually but he didn’t really care. 

Tony continued “I called you like ten times but you didn’t answer so I drove down to check up on you to see if you fainted or something and look at my surprise to find you walking in nothing but your pyjamas on the street and here I am calling your name but you’re not responding so I park my car and get out and now here we are. Why are you here?”

Peter shrugged his shoulders again and curled in on himself. He had already told Tony why he was here, it was like Tony was waiting for the full story. The true story but Peter wasn’t about to tell him. 

“I’m waiting. We can have this conversation here in the cold or at the tower in the warmth-“

“No!” Peter flinched at his loud voice and so did Tony “No, I have my project to do, um, it’s d-due t-tomorrow” 

Tony crossed his arms and looked down at Peter as if he was studying him “Alright, ill help then. Your house or mine?” 

Peter looked down at his feet as he spoke “Um, no offence but um, I kinda wanna d-do it by m-myself” 

Tony looked offended as he spoke “Since when do you not want my help on something? Let’s go, kid. Since you’re being stubborn and I really don’t wanna get arrested for child kidnapping since you clearly don’t wanna come over, for some odd reason, we’ll go to your house” 

Peter knew he lost this battle. Tony won it mainly because deep down Peter wanted Tony to come over. 

He wouldn’t mind if Tony took him back to the tower because he knew he would be safe there. 

At least Tony would be coming home with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony to the rescue... maybe 
> 
> I was gonna make Tony take Peter to the tower but maybe not just yet 
> 
> Please let me know what you guys think
> 
> Also I just wanted to say that the woman in the store was so cute to peter omg I could just picture her seeing helpless child thinking that peter is a lot younger than he actually is because he’s dressed in his pyjamas and his big jacket that her mother instincts kicked in and said protect protect the baby


	7. It feels like I opened my eyes again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: panic attack in this chapter so if that triggers you then don’t read
> 
> Hiii guys!! I feel like I haven’t posted a chapter in wayyyy longer than a week idkk why if feels like that
> 
> Anyways I hope you guys like this

Peter hugged his arms over his body as he followed Tony silently to the car. 

Tony walked around the car and got into the front seat and Peter slowly got into the passenger seat. The car rumbled to life and Tony drove away. 

No body said anything for a few minutes and it was never awkward silence between the two, not anymore, but for some odd reason the silence between the two was almost painfully awkward. 

Peter decided to break the silence “I Uh, you didn’t have to c-come get m-me” 

“By the looks of you, I did” Tony said. He glanced over at Peter’s face and his pyjama pants before turning his attention back on the road. 

Peter turned his gaze out the window because he didn’t really know what Tony meant by that. Did he really look that bad in his pyjamas that some lady thought she needed to ask him if he was lost and Tony Stark was worried about him. 

“Look, kid” Tony began “I know we haven’t seen each other in a few days and you’ve been avoiding me for some reason but I just, if I did something wrong then I’m sorry” 

Peter looked over at Tony and guilt immediately washed over him. He felt so bad because Tony was probably beating himself up thinking that he did something to Peter and he thought that that was the reason why Peter was avoiding him. 

“No, I’m not-I’m not a-avoiding you, Tony” Peter looked up at the man “I just Uh, I’ve really been b-busy and-and, with s-school and stuff” 

Peter internally cringed at his stutter. He always got it when he was really nervous and he hadn’t really noticed it recently because he’s barely been talking to anyone but it was there. 

If Tony noticed, which he definitely did, he didn’t say anything about it. He knew that Peter had a stutter right from the start back when they first met and Peter was too shy to even ask to use the bathroom when they were working in the lab together. 

Tony eyed Peter over quickly before turning his attention back on the road “Alright, bud, don’t worry about it, I was just wondering” 

Peter nodded his head. He didn’t trust his voice to say anything else so he shut up. 

It wasn’t very long before they were pulling in front of Peter’s apartment building and Tony was turning off the car. 

“Thanks for uh, driving me, Tony. I’ll see you Uh-“

Tony cut Peter off by taking off his seatbelt and opening his car door “You think I drove all the way out here just to drive you home, don’t get me wrong, kid, if you ever need me to do that I will but we haven’t seen each other in a long time so let’s go” 

Peter hoped that Tony was gonna forget about the part where he walks with Peter up to his apartment but he knew better than to think Tony wasn’t gonna not do that. 

Part of Peter was glad that Tony cared so much. It was nice.

Tony waited for Peter to exit the car so he could lock it and go into the building. Peter was moving very slow and Tony noticed that however he came to the wrong conclusion. 

“Are you Okay, Pete?” Tony asked “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Peter looked up at Tony and a bit of fear flashed over his face before he answered “No, I mean I’m good, not-not hiding anything from y-you” 

“Hmm?” Tony put his arm around Peter once he was close enough and Peter visibly flinched which once again brought Tony to the wrong conclusion but he would deal with that once they got to the kids apartment. 

Peter tried to focus on Tony’s arm around his shoulders. It was the first time anyone has ever touched since-since Mr. Ellis did after school and Peter tried not to let that ruin this for him. 

Tony’s touches were nice, they were full of nothing but love and protectiveness. 

No matter how hard Peter tried though, he couldn’t relax into Tony’s touch. 

Tony let go of Peter when they got into the elevator and once again it was awkward silence. Peter held the dish soap bottle under his arm the whole way up to his floor and didn’t put it down until they got inside the apartment. 

Tony let Peter unlock the door and Peter stepped in first then Tony looked it behind him, like he always did but this time Peter flinched at the sound of the front door locking, no, Tony wouldn’t hurt him. 

He was the one that bought new locks and personally put it on the door himself so that it was almost impossible to break into and if it was broken then Tony would be alerted and he would immediately come. Tony just wanted what was best for Peter. 

Peter placed the soap bottle on the counter next to the kitchen sink and smiled proudly at it, it made him feel a lot better for some odd reason. 

“Alright, kid, lift up your shirt” Tony said breaking Peter from his proudness. 

Peter turned around with fear written all o ear his face ‘take off your pants’ rang through Peters ears in his teachers voice. 

“W-what?” Peter’s voice broke. 

Tony, who had no idea that he had just sent Peter into a state of panic, gestured for Peter to walk closer to him “I said lift up your shirt, or take it off, I don’t care, just show me your injury that you’re hiding” 

Peter relaxed, just a bit. Tony wasn’t asking him to get undressed like his teacher does, he was asking because he thought Peter was hurt. 

Despite the panic, Peter stepped towards Tony “I’m not-I’m not hurt, Tony. I p-promise” 

Tony actually looked confused “Then why are you hugging yourself like your supporting about five broken ribs?”

Peter laughed. A small, tight laugh but it was the first one in over three days “I’m just... cold. I didn’t think b-before I left the apartment. I’m not wearing any underwear” 

Peter cringed. Why did he just tell Tony that he wasn’t wearing any underwear? It was like in the store with the woman and how he was telling her about his whole life story. 

Peter saw Tony laugh at what he just said and it made Peter turn red. Maybe he was blurting out random facts about himself so he didn’t tell the main thing that mattered and what he should actually be telling people. That his teacher was molesting him. 

Tony thankfully started talking before Peter had the chance to say anything else “Gotta say, kid, not the smartest idea in this weather especially with your spidey powers. Do you wanna go change before we sit?” 

Peter thought about it but then shook his head. There was no need to change into different clothes right now because he was surprisingly content. 

Tony never threatened him. Peter was pretty sure that a lot of people if not most felt really threatened when Tony was in their presence but Peter always felt safe. He felt content. 

Tony smiled weakly at him and patted the couch seat next to him, Peter slowly walked over and sat down. 

“So, Pete,” Tony threw his arm around the couch behind Peter’s back, it wasn’t touching him but it was close enough to feel that it was there and for once Peter actually found himself wanting the loving touch “what have you been up to?” 

Peter shrugged. He leaned in closer to Tony, just enough so that their sides were pressing against each other. It was nice and it almost made Peter forget about everything that was going on in his life even if it was just for a little bit. 

Tony put his arm that was around the back of the couch on Peter’s shoulders and even though the angle was awkward, he started running his hand through Peter’s hair the way he knew the kid loved. 

Peter shut his eyes and leaned in closer to Tony so that his head was on the mans chest. He let out a low whine and he felt Tony’s chest vibrate from the laugh he let out. Peter ignored it and continued to lie there. 

If he could stay here forever in Tony’s arms, he would. 

Whenever he was with Tony it was like everything just stopped and it was just the two of them. Over the past few months Tony became more involved in Peter’s life and Peter had to stop himself from calling Tony ‘dad’ on multiple occasions but at times like this, when it was just the two of them like the whole world stopped for a bit to allow the two to be together, Peter was safe. He was happy. 

They stayed like that for awhile with Tony running his hand through Peter’s hair and Peter resting his eyes on Tony’s chest wrapped up in the bigger mans arms. 

.  
.  
.

May got off work a few hours early. 

Not that much early but early enough to come home and to her surprise she found Peter asleep on the couch cuddled into Tony Stark’s arm who was also asleep. 

May smiled fondly to herself. She loved watching the father and son relationship build between the two over the months. It was at times like this where she could see how far the two have come. 

Before they could wake up, May took out her phone and took a few pictures of the two asleep together on the couch. 

It was just past eleven at night which was past the time that Peter should be in bed but as long as he was sleeping, May didn’t see any problem with it. 

She began going into the kitchen to put some stuff away when she found the microwave wave door open with two now cold pizzas inside. 

May didn’t think anything of it as she wrapped them back up and put them in the fridge. Tony seemed to hear the noise because he was waking up. 

May walked over to him and waited until his eyes landed on her. He looked down at Peter first who had curled up into a ball and practically buried himself into Tony’s side. The blanket that Tony threw over Peter before he fell asleep was wrapped tightly around the teen. 

“Hey” May greeted “Thanks for putting him to bed even if it wasn’t actually in his, you know, bed”

Tony looked up at May and smiled “Yeah, I didn’t actually come here to plan on falling asleep with him” 

May laughed and waved her hand away that Tony now knew meant ‘What are you gonna do about it’ he picked up on that awhile ago. 

“I should go” Tony tried to separate himself from Peter but he was unable to do May had to come over and help untangle Peter from Tony. He placed a pillow where he used to be so that hopefully Peter didn’t notice his lack of presence. 

Once Tony was free from the clingy child he stood up straight and pulled his shirt down so it was straight. That sleep actually did some good for him because he felt better. It was that or that fact that he got to see Peter again. 

“Thanks, Tony” May said as they walked to the door “I’ve been working the night shifts for the past couple nights so I haven’t been able to be here for him but it’s really nice to know that you have his back” 

Tony noticed that he was smiling at Peter from the door before he turned his attention to May “Just know I’ll always be here for him” 

May smiled knowingly and Tony gave once glance at Peter before leaving. 

After locking the door, May made herself a cup of tea and sat on the opposite side of Peter on the couch. 

She put on one of her favourite tv shows until she planned on waking Peter up to send him to bed and going to bed herself. 

About ten minutes later Peter was starting to shift on the couch and was uncurling from his ball. May watched him until his eyes opened up and watched as he looked around confused for a bit at first.

“Hey, Pete” May greeted softly. 

Peter looked up at May confusion and sleepiness written all over his face. 

Peter was really confused. He was debating if what just happened was a dream or if Tony was actually here and if he had actually fell asleep on him. He was on the couch so maybe Tony actually was here with him. But now he was gone, Peter tried not to let the last part sting a little. 

“You wanna go to your bed now?” May asked. 

Peter looked over at May and shifted a bit so that he was fully facing her. He was about to nod his head when he felt something wet between his legs. 

No, no, it couldn’t be. There was no way he had just... and on the couch. 

May watched Peter’s eyes widen in shock and she was concerned at first because she thought Peter was hurt. “What’s wrong, Peter?”

Peter kicked the blankets off of him because he had to be sure. He had to be sure that the wet feeling between his legs was actually what he thought it was and wasn’t anything else. 

Once the blankets were off and revealed a wet patch spread between Peter’s legs and on the blanket on the couch. Peter let out a whimper, he had just wet the couch. 

And now May was gonna fund and and... Tony! No, Tony probably knew Peter peed himself so he left. 

May stood up and walked over to Peter and once her eyes landed on the wet patch her face morphed into sadness “Oh, Peter. It’s okay, it happens-“ 

Peter was getting off the couch and bolting into the bathroom before May could say anything else. 

Inside the bathroom Pete made sure not to lock the door but to make sure that it was closed. Peter sank to his butt on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest. 

How could he be so stupid as to wet the couch. He knew he should have known better because this was an every night thing ever since Mr. Ellis and now May was gonna ask him questions and grow suspicious. 

Peter let out a sob but then tried to bite his finger to prevent another one from happening.

There was a knock on the bathroom door which Peter wanted so badly to ignore but he knew he couldn’t “W-what?”

“Peter, baby,” May sounded sad “It’s okay, baby, it happens but you need to open the door for me. Please” 

Peter didn’t respond because he didn’t trust his voice but also because he just wanted to wake up from this horrible dream. Everything was just too much and now May was gonna find out everything and-

“Peter, honey. Please, you’re not in trouble just open the door” May begged. Peter hated this. 

“No. Go away” Peter’s voice broke but he didn’t care at this point. May had seen him wet the bed at fifteen years old and so did Tony probably. 

Peter listened on the other side of the door and at first he could still hear May but then there was a sigh and she was gone. Peter thought he would relax when she was gone but he let out another sob that he didn’t even try to cover up. 

Peter didn’t know how long it was before his pyjama pants were starting to stick to his legs and started to get irritated when there was another knock on the door. 

“I understand if you don’t want me to help you but open the door so I can give you some clean pyjamas, Peter, please” May pleated “It’s only gonna hurt later on” 

Peter let out a shaky breath, he didn’t understand why this was happening to him. It was tiring and frustrating. Despite feeling embarrassed and emotionally and physically exhausted, Peter opened the bathroom door. 

May looked surprised but happy to see him. Peter didn’t look at her eyes but he caught her looking at his pyjama pants sadly before handing him the clean ones and a towel. “Do you want any help?” 

Peter shook his head. Maybe if Tony was still here but he didn’t want May to help. He shrugged “Where did Tony go?” 

May sighed rubbing her hand through her hand like she did when she’s was really tired “He left, honey. I can call him to come help you if you want-“ 

Peter shook his head “N-no. Don’t call him” 

Peter didn’t even want Tony to come near him anyways. He was dirty and didn’t deserve Tony’s help no matter how badly he wanted it. It hurt him to think that Tony probably saw what happened and left before he had to deal with it. 

Another tear fell down Peter’s face and May reached out to touch him but Peter shut the door before she could. 

He turned on the shower and took off his pyjamas. Peter had to blink away the tears because they were building up and it blurred over his vision but even after he tried to blink the tears away he still saw a blur and his head was starting to kill again. 

Peter realized that he forgot to eat the pizza that he heated up in the microwave and that was probably why he was so dizzy and weak feeling. 

He sat on the closed toilet seat to try and get his vision to go back but that was doing little to help. 

His breathing started to get faster and faster and Peter could practically feel his heat beating out of his chest. 

There was a knock on the door and as badly as Peter wanted to answer and beg May to come and help him because he couldn’t see and he couldn’t breathe, there was no voice that left his mouth after he tried to speak. 

Peter felt his mouth fill with saliva and a gag escaped his lips so he quickly slid off the toilet seat and kneeled down in front of it. He just opened it in time for him to gag again but nothing came up. There was nothing in his stomach to even come up. 

“Peter? Peter, are you okay? Answer me or I’m coming in” May sounded scared and Peter wasn’t sure he remembers ever hearing May that scared before. 

Peter tried to call for May to come in and help him because he was pretty sure he was dying. He couldn’t get in a breath and his eyes were gone because he couldn’t see anything. He needed May to come in but how was he supposed to ask for help when it felt like he was drowning. 

The bathroom door opened but Peter couldn’t even see May walk in. He knew she was there because he could hear her but that was it. 

“Peter! Peter, what’s happening? Breathe, Peter!” May was saying. Peter put his head on the lid of the toilet seat and shut his eyes, not breathing. 

May bent down to his level and shook his shoulders “Peter! You’re having a panic attack. You need to breathe” 

Peter opened his eyes but he just felt his head roll back with dizziness.

May began speaking to him again “Peter, baby, breathe. In one, out two. In one. Out two” 

Peter tried to follow Mays exaggerated breaths but he wasn’t sure if he was doing a good job or not. Apparently he was because May sounded happy. 

“That’s good, baby. Keep breathing” May coached. 

After a few minutes maybe hours, Peter wasn’t sure, of May helping him breathe did his vision come back to him and he felt a lot better. Still horrible but better than he did just minutes before. 

“I’ll be right back” May announced before getting up. 

When she came back there was a towel being placed over Peter’s lab and if he wasn’t still so out of it he would have been embarrassed that May had just seen him naked but in that situation it seemed okay. 

Peter put his head back on the toilet seat and May continued to rub circles on his back in a smoothing manner. 

It was actually very relaxing to Peter and the fact that it was May really helped. 

After a few silent minutes of them sitting there, Peter spoke “I’m sorry” 

May paused her circle rubbing for a few seconds but then resumed “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Peter” 

Peter didn’t say anything for a few seconds “No, the-the couch. I ruined it” 

May laughed weakly “Oh, baby. You didn’t ruin anything, the pee got on a few blankets and that’s it. I put it in the wash. Even if you did ruin the couch you know I’ll never be mad at you. Ever. It was an accident” 

Peter shut his eyes. He didn’t want to answer because he had nothing to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo I dropped out of college
> 
> It just wasn’t for me and my mental state isn’t the best right now and I’m just really struggling because I’m so unhappy but hey I love writing sooo that’s all that’s keeping me going at this point


	8. Look what you’ve done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii guys:)) I hope you guys like this chapter! I just finished writing and then got distracted for a bit but here it is! 
> 
> WARNING: always remember the tags posted but this chapter isn’t too heavy at all so it’s ok but I’ll always put a reminder up just in case

Peter didn’t sleep that night. 

After he fell asleep on the couch with Tony only to wake up wet and Tony gone, he couldn’t bring himself to go back to sleep. 

It was embarrassing enough that Aunt May had to witness him wet the couch and have a full blown panic attack on the bathroom floor so he really didn’t think he could handle another panic attack or bed wetting tonight. 

It would honestly be best for everyone if he stayed up. 

May had sent him to bed after the whole bathroom ordeal and told him that he should really get some sleep because he looked really exhausted so he went into his bedroom and crawled under his blankets but didn’t go to bed. 

After he was sure May went to bed and wouldn’t be checking on him again for the rest of the night, he crawled out of bed and unlocked up his phone. 

Peter went onto messages and debated if he should call or text Tony but then he thought better of that because what would he even say to him. ‘Oh hey Tony thanks for coming over and sorry you had to fall asleep on the couch with me but it was a good thing you left because I peed myself’

Peter shook his head and tossed his phone onto the bed. He wanted so badly to just text Tony or call him to hear his voice because he could feel another panic attack coming on and he didn’t even know why this was happening. He was safe. His teacher wasn’t here and Aunt May wouldn’t hurt him so why was he freaking out so much. 

There was a slight breeze and Peter’s head immediately snapped up to his window to see if it had been opened. Thankfully it was still closed so now Peter could relax but he still couldn’t get that anxious feeling to leave his body. 

Before Peter could even process what he was doing he was crawling into his bed again and was feeling around for his phone. Once he found it under his pillow he unlocked it again and moved to Tony’s name and started typing out a text. 

Peter: Thanks for coming around today

Peter: and sorry to make you fall asleep on the couch with me

Peter stopped texting before he mentioned anything else that happened after the man left. He still had no idea if Tony knew or not and he really hope the man didn’t know. 

Peter wasn’t really expecting a text back since it was 4:35am and he knew that Tony was probably in bed because he seemed tired before so he was really surprised to see a text pop up from Tony. 

Tony: Anytime, Pete. I mean it

Tony: and why are you up at 4 in the morning?

Despite the situation, Peter smiled and leaned against his headboard so he could text Tony. 

Peter: can’t sleep 

Peter: I was too busy thinking about that one time you drank motor oil thinking it was hot chocolate

Peter waited for the reply to come but it never did. Instead his phone was lighting up with his face and an incoming FaceTime call from Tony. 

Peter looked at himself and saw that he looked awful but he hoped that Tony wouldn’t notice that so he hit answer. 

“Just calling to say that the reason why I drank motor oil was because of you by the way” Came Tony’s voice. 

Peter saw that Tony wasn’t in his lab and looked like he was actually in his bed so Peter was scared that he woke the man up. 

“Did I wake you up?” Peter asked worried before he could even think about it. 

On the other side there was a light being turned on and Peter could see Tony’s hair and it looked all messed up so that answered Peter’s question. 

“You didn’t wake me up” Tony clarified “I woke myself up” 

Peter smiled weakly because he didn’t really believe Tony. 

Tony must have seen that so he spoke again “Actually, kid, this is usually the time I wake up so no point in going back to sleep now” 

Peter didn’t say anything as he just looked at Tony through his screen. Even if the man wasn’t physically there he still found his presence calming. 

“You on the other hand should go back to bed. What time are you getting up for school, six? Seven?” Tony asked and when he mentioned school Peter flinched but it was too dark for Tony to see. 

“Um, seven but I’m not tired” Peter lied and of course Tony could see right through him. 

“Are you sure because those eye bags are telling me a different story and I can see you struggling to keep your eyes open” Peter looked away from his phone because Tony could literally see right through him and he didn’t need the man finding out about anything else. 

“I’m fine, I just don’t wanna sleep so I’m just gonna stay up-“

Before Peter could finish what he was saying his bedroom door was being opened which caused Peter to bang his head on his top bunk bed. His heart was beating super fast and he only relaxed a little bit once he saw that it was only May. 

“M-May? Wha-what are you d-doing?” Peter stuttered out. 

“Peter. It’s four in the morning. What are you doing up? And are you on the phone-“

“Sorry, May!” Tony called into the phone “I called him” 

May sighed and ran his hand through her face as she stepped towards Peter. Peter’s heart was beating really fast for no reason and he was holding onto his phone extremely tightly. 

“It’s fine, Tony” May said tiredly “Say goodnight, Peter and then give me your phone” 

Peter shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest. May looked surprised but moved closer to Peter to grab the phone “I’m not playing, Peter, it’s four in the morning and you should be asleep so say goodnight you can talk to Tony tomorrow” 

“No, May” Peter gave a pleading look towards May and tried to move away from her. Tony was the only thing making him feel safe right now and preventing him from going into a full blown panic attack. 

“May, it’s alright” Came Tony’s voice through the phone “I’ll make sure he goes to bed after you leave” 

Peter watched May with wide eyes because she rarely yelled at him but whenever she did it was scary and Peter wasn’t so sure he could take that right now. 

“Fine. Just... if he’s not off the phone in twenty minutes then I’m taking his phone from him until tomorrow night” May said firmly and then gave Peter a look “Listen to Tony, Peter” 

Peter nodded his head still with wide eyes looking up at her as he watched her leave. He waited until the door shut before he pulled out his phone from where he had it covered between his legs. 

“Alright, Pete, whats going on?” Tony asked immediately. Peter flinched because he wasn’t ready for that question. 

“N-nothing. May just w-wants me to sleep, that’s all” 

Tony still wasn’t believing that “And why won’t you sleep?” 

Peter didn’t answer him. He made himself a little bit more comfortable so that he could talk to Tony until he had to go to school. Even the thought made him want to vomit but Tony was here so he was okay. 

“Peter? Why won’t you sleep?” Tony asked again. This time more serious. 

“I just, um, I’m not t-tired and I-I already tried so, I’m not” Peter was looking at Tony through his phone and even in the low brightness he could still see that Tony had a look of worried on his face. 

“Is it nightmares?” Tony asked seriously. 

Peter was gonna say no but then Tony would keep pushing on and May already thought the reason why he wet the bed was because of a nightmare so why not let Tony think the same thing. But without the bed wetting. 

“Y-yeah. It’s not bad though so you don’t needa worry, Tony” Tony watched Peter carefully and then nodded his head. 

“Do you want me to come pick you up right now? We can go out for ice cream or you can just come back to the tower with me” At Tony’s suggestion Peter almost said yes. He almost started begging the man to come and get him right now but he couldn’t do that. He had school tomorrow and he had to go to school otherwise his teacher would kill his Aunt and possibly do what he does to him to another student and he just couldn’t have that. 

“It’s okay. I can’t come over anyways because May” Peter said sadly. It was partly true but if he really wanted Tony to come he would have Tony convince May. 

Tony didn’t say anything for a few seconds and Peter was sure the man was disappointed in him and that he was about to hang up but then he spoke “I wanna see you tomorrow. I’ll come get you before school and pick you up then I’ll take you after school too” 

As good as that sounded Peter shook his head. He knew if he saw Tony tomorrow morning before school then he wouldn’t be able to get out of the car and actually go to school and he couldn’t do anything straight after school because-because his teacher-

Thankfully Peter didn’t have time to answer because his door was being shoved open again which caused him to violently flinch “Give me your phone” 

Peter shook his head and curled into himself more “N-no, Aunt May. P-please” 

“Give me your phone, Peter. Now!” May was moving closer to him and was reaching for his phone that he had tucked between his legs and he was suddenly back in his classroom where his teacher was taking off his pants and was about to grab him- 

Peter let out a loud sob and moved to kick May away but he missed her and kicked his desk by accident that sent pain all throughout his leg and caused him to let out another sob. 

“May, he’s fine we were just talking. I’m gonna tell him to go to bed now just give him the phone back” Peter could hear Tony’s voice desperately through the phone but he stopped listening because his foot was killing him and he had almost just kicked May! 

Peter curled into a ball on his bed and began crying violently. He couldn’t stop the sobs that were coming out of his mouth because the one thing that was making him feel safe and protected was now gone and Peter was now alone. 

“Go to sleep, Peter, I don’t wanna hear it!” May called back before she slammed the bedroom door and began walking back into her bedroom. 

“May, just let me talk to him again” Tony begged over the phone. 

All he heard was a lot of crying and a loud bang so he was pretty sure that Peter hurt himself and he was trying hard not to jump into a suit and fly to make sure his kid was okay. 

“No, Tony. It’s four in the morning and he’s awake talking to you instead of sleeping so I think you’ve done enough” May said firmly and Tony wanted to yell back at her but she was the one that decided if he got to see Peter or not so he had to be respectful. 

“Look, May, I’m sorry but somethings going on with him and I just wanted to make sure he’s okay” Tony could tell that Peter wasn’t being himself and hasn’t for a few days even if he never got to really see his kid lately he knew something was wrong and that was part of the reason why he knew something was wrong. 

“If something is wrong with him then I’ll talk to him. I don’t need you doing that at four in the morning” May said and Tony didn’t see anything wrong with what he did. He knew Peter needed him so he was there. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is. 

“I’m picking him up tomorrow morning and taking him after school” Tony decided “Have a goodnight” 

Tony then hung up the phone and left May staring at a blank screen.

As May made her way back to her room and settled into her bed she couldn’t help but feel bad for taking Peter’s phone away from him. She knew that him and Tony were really close but it was sometimes frustrating because Tony didn’t seem to understand that Peter was a child who needed their sleep and he couldn’t be talking to Peter all night long. May tried to reinforce that but Peter seemed to be listening to Tony more than he does May nowadays. 

May knew she wasn’t gonna be getting a good nights sleep the rest of the night because her thoughts were keeping her up. 

She expected to be sharing a bed with a distraught Peter tonight like he usually did on nights like this but he never came and May knew she was the reason for that. 

.  
.  
.

Peter had tried so hard but he managed to stay up all night. 

There was no way he was gonna fall asleep with his thoughts racing because he was scared to have a nightmare about his teacher as well as wetting the bed. He was not gonna allow that to happen again. May was home so she would definitely know and then she would ask him about it and find out that something is up and he couldn’t have anyone know. 

It was still really early but he decided to get out of bed and start getting ready for school. He couldn’t stay in his bed anymore. 

After he showered and put on some baggy clothes which was a grey sweater and some blue jeans that he found in the back of his closet covered by his LEGOs. 

There was a knock on his bedroom door which sent Peter’s heart into panic but he quickly calmed down by thinking of it only being May. Right? 

“Uh, y-yeah?” Came Peter’s voice sounding way to scared. 

“It’s just me, baby” May said and Peter relaxed “Can I come in?”

Peter sat down on his bed and nodded his head before realizing that May couldn’t actually see him “Y- yeah”

The door was pushed open and May walked in with a sad look on her face as she stepped towards Peter. Peter curled in on himself but then tried to look like he wasn’t scared by Mays presence because he didn’t want her to ask him any questions or find out anything. 

He was being ridiculous anyways because why would he be scared of May. She had never hurt him in any way at all. 

“Peter, honey” May sat on his desk chair and said softly “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did but Peter, you seem to be up in the clouds. I don’t know what’s going on with you”

Peter didn’t say anything. May continued “Look, baby, I shouldn’t have taken your phone while you were talking to Tony and I’m sorry. I just need you to listen to me, when I say get off the phone and go to bed I mean it. I’m not trying to ruin your life, Peter” 

Peter was still staring at May and not saying anything but he realized that she was waiting for him to say something so she raised her eyebrows at him “I know, May”

May sighed and handed Peter’s phone over to him which he grabbed out of her hands immediately. “Tony’s coming to pick you up right now to take you to school and he’s taking you after school as well. I know I was hard on you guys last night but if you want to spend the night I’m gonna let you” 

That caused Peter’s head to snap up and look at May with a panicked look on his face “No. N-no, May. I can take the bus and-and I have a h-huge project to work on after school” 

May looked at Peter confused “Peter, you guys have been begging me to let you guys have a sleepover and now I am and you’re saying no. Tony wants to see you anyways plus I need a little break, baby” 

Peter’s heart dropped. After everything he was doing so May would be safe and she just pushes him away. He felt used and broken. Even though May had no idea what was going on it still hurt him to hear his Aunt say he needs a break from him. 

He also couldn’t see Tony today because he knows the man will ask questions and if he gets in the car with him right now he’s not gonna wanna get into the school. Tony makes him feel safe and right now he can make himself go to school and force himself to power through the whole day and then... his teacher. But not if he goes with Tony. Not if he sees the man and starts to feel safe. He couldn’t do that. 

Then there was after school too that he had to deal with and a sleepover. All those times where Tony and Peter had begged May to let him spend the night at the tower and May had always said no but now she was saying yes! And they didn’t even ask! 

Well, Maybe Tony asked. 

Peter felt horrible. He was pushing Tony and May away and he knew they loved him and wanted what was best for him and he was just shoving them away from him. Better that than them finding out he guessed. 

May stood up and moved to cup his cheek and he found himself flinching slightly at the contact “Tony’s gonna be here any minute so finish getting ready, I’m going to make you a quick breakfast” 

Peter’s stomach rumbled at the mention of food but it also made him feel really sick. He hadn’t eaten in a long time. So long he can’t remember. 

May left his bedroom and Peter followed. He couldn’t really do anything about Tony coming to get him now but maybe he could find a way to get out of it after school. 

“May?” Peter called out after he followed her into the kitchen. He needed to ask her something important... and embarrassing and he’d rather never have to bring it up again but he had to. 

“Yes?” 

Peter looked at the ground to avoid Mays eyes “Um, well, are-are you gonna Uh, tell Tony about-about... me wetting the um, couch in my sleep?”

May looked up from the bowl she was whisking eggs in “No. I don’t see any reason to tell him. Would you like me to-“

Peter looked up at May and put his hands up as his eyes went wide at the thought of May telling Tony what he did “No! No, you don’t have to tell him. He doesn’t need to know” 

May eyed her nephew for a few seconds before turning her back to him and pouring the eggs onto the pan on the stove. She wanted to ask Peter more questions about the whole accident that she couldn’t ask after it happened because Peter had been too worked up so right now was perfect but then there was a knock on the door. 

Peter flinched at the sound and actually had to jump back because he got so scared. May saw this and eyed Peter questionably as she walked towards the door to open it “Peter, are you okay? Did you have another nightmare last night?”

Peter shook his head and held his breath because maybe his teacher was here to kill Aunt May and touch him! 

May opened the door to reveal Tony standing there. Even though she yelled at the man last night and he hung up on her, she still had respect for him because he was doing that all for Peter’s sake. 

“Tony, come in” May stepped aside “I’m just making Peter a quick breakfast. Do you want a coffee or anything?” 

“Oh no thank you, actually I was gonna take Pete to a diner before he goes to school” Tony stepped towards Peter who was just staring up at him “What time does your school start? 8:30. It’s only six so what do you say?” 

Tony put his hands on Peter’s shoulders and didn’t miss the way the kid flinched but then leaned into his chest after. Peter just nodded his head into Tony’s chest. 

May was watching the two, she noticed the way Peter flinched when Tony touched him too so it wasn’t just her. At first thought she thought that Tony had done something to Peter to make Peter not wanna see him like if Tony yelled at him because he didn’t seem to want Tony to see him but the way Peter leaned into him proved her wrong. She could see that Peter really trusted Tony with the way he threw his whole body into the mans arms. 

May then thought about the next option. Peter must have had a really bad nightmare last night which was why he was so odd and jumpy this morning. If he had a nightmare that meant he wet the bed...

May caught Peter’s eyes and raised her eyebrows as she quickly walked into his room to check his bed. She threw back the blankets and felt around to feel for any wetness but there was nothing. It was completely dry. She bent down to check under the bed to see if Peter had hid his wet things there but nothing again. 

May was at loss. If Peter hadn’t wet the bed that meant he didn’t have a nightmare so then there was no explanation for him to be acting this way. Unless he had a nightmare and managed to keep the bed dry somehow. 

Either way she wouldn’t be asking Peter about it in front of Tony after she told Peter that she wouldn’t tell the man. 

When May stepped out of Peter’s bedroom she caught Peter’s eyes again watching her with wide ones. He knew exactly what she had been doing in his room and it made his cheeks turn red. 

Peter looked away from May and back up at Tony who was still trying to convince him to go out for breakfast. Peter didn’t want May to be catching onto what was happening. 

He didn’t know what May thought but she definitely checked his bed in his room and that thought scared him because he would have to hide things better now.

“Do you have your bag packed, baby?” May asked moving to the front of the stove again. She would just eat the eggs herself before work. 

Peter looked up at her “Oh, yeah. I’m ready to go” 

“Alright, kid, Angels Diner?” Tony asked, clapping his hands together to get going. Peter always jumped on the idea of getting food so he found it a bit odd that Peter wasn’t immediately jumping on the idea of them going for breakfast. 

Something was definitely wrong with Peter which he would be asking him about over breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact!! Where Tony is gonna take Peter to eat is actually a place that me and my friends go to about an hour away from where I live called Angels Diner and I love itttt so they’re gonna be eatin good


	9. I’ll feel the fear for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this finished for awhile actually sooo idkk why I didn’t post it anyways this chapter is a little lighter but just always be careful of the warnings and tags 
> 
> *** please read the end notes***

The car ride was spent in silence. 

Tony could tell that something was up with the kid but he didn’t wanna force it out of him just yet so he decided to wait until they got to the restaurant. 

It felt a little odd being awake so early and actually going out to eat breakfast since he barely ate breakfast at home but he was with Peter and was getting to spend time with him so he was happy. 

Tony wasn’t sure if he was seeing things but Peter actually looked thinner. 

His under eye bags were so sunken in that it actually look away from his baby fat on his cheeks and made him look older. He had this distant sad look in his eyes like he was distracted and thinking about something in the lab but the only thing was that Tony had never seen him look like that out of the lab and the look in his eyes didn’t go away. 

He also noticed the way Peter flinched when he first touched him and then relaxed and leaned into his chest after and the way his shoulders felt all too boney. Peter had always been extra skinny and too small for his age, Tony knew that, but something about the way Peter looked all too fragile to even touch scared the man. 

He guessed it had something to do with what happened on a patrol because he could see that Peter wasn’t using his suit as much the past couple days as well as the way the kid looked, he could clearly see that Peter wasn’t sleeping. 

Tony thought that it could also have something to do with the fact that May had been working the night shifts for the past few dats and Peter wasn’t the type to enjoy being alone. 

He would have to find out during breakfast. 

Tony parked the car in parallel park outside of Angels Diner and shut the car off. 

He glanced over at Peter who was staring ahead with a dead look in his eyes as if he was sleeping with his eyes opened and it actually scared him. He missed his happy, jumpy, talking non-stop Peter. Not...whatever this silent Peter was. 

“Kid? You cold?” Tony asked. Peter once again flinched as if he forgot Tony was in the car and seemed to shake out whatever trance like state he was in. 

“Um, yeah, what? No, I’m f-fine” Peter stuttered out. He hugged his arms around himself protectively. 

Tony rolled his eyes and stepped out of the car, shrugging off his jacket. 

When he rounded the car he placed the jacket over Peter’s shoulders and put his arm around him, bringing him close to himself. He could feel Peter shaking slightly but he assumed it was from the cold. 

Peter pushed himself into Tony’s side because he felt safer the closer he was to the man.

Tony felt Peter put his hand on Tony’s stomach and fist his shirt like all the times he had to wake the kid up from a bad nightmare and then would stay with Peter until he calmed down enough. Peter would place his hand there and Tony just thought of it as a way of saying ‘don’t leave me’ so he didn’t. 

Tony didn’t say anything about Peter grabbing onto his shirt as they stepped inside. He wasn’t even sure Peter knew he was doing it. 

There wasn’t anyone else inside this early in the day except for a few old couples who paid them no attention. 

No one ever cared that he was Tony Stark here. That’s why he loved it so much. 

The waiter led them to a table in the far back corner and handed them menus before leaving. 

Tony had to gently pry Peter off of him to get him to sit down. 

“I’m surprised I haven’t taken you here sooner” Tony thought better of that “Well, not actually surprised since we always order in” 

Peter didn’t laugh or even acknowledge the fact that Tony had even spoken. That concerned the man. 

“Hey, Pete, where are you? Because I’m here at the table but you don’t look to be here as well” 

Peter looked up at Tony and give him a weak fake smile “I’m fine” 

“I never asked if you were fine. I know you’re not so quit lying to me and tell me what’s going on” Tony didn’t mean to sound so harsh but if that’s what hit Peter listening than he’ll do it. 

Peter eyed him questionably and Tony could tell that he was thinking about what to say “No-nothings wrong. I just-I’m fine” 

Tony was silent for a few seconds. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms “I don’t have anywhere to be today and I won’t take you to school unless you tell me” 

Peter’s face showed the first sign of emotion. It was annoyance and fear but it was still emotion “You can’t just not take me to school” 

Tony raised his eyebrows “Oh yeah? Try me. Something is wrong with you and right now your mental health is way more important than one day of school, Peter. This is no joke” 

Peter wanted to fight back and say something to Tony but he couldn’t. He felt the tears building at the back of his eyes and he could tell that if he spoke he would lose it. He wanted so badly to tell Tony right now. He knew he could come clean to Tony right now and tell him everything from his teacher touching him and making him touch his teachers...thing to the bed wetting and the not eating but he couldn’t. 

The fear of what would happen to May and anyone else including himself was too scary. Not worth the risk. 

Tony leaned forward on the table “Is it nightmares?” 

“Can I get your guys something to drink?” The waitress had asked and Tony mentally swore. He could tell Peter was thankful for the distraction. 

She looked to Peter first who was looking down at his lap and avoiding her eye contact. As well as Tony’s. 

“He’ll have chocolate milk and I’ll have Uh, a coffee, please” Tony ordered not taking his eyes off of Peter. 

After the waitress left he asked again. “Hey, buddy, is it nightmares?” 

Peter looked up. Tony continued “Its okay if it is, I’m not gonna think any less of you, hell, I still get them. A lot actually. Yeah, something about the hero life makes you get them. I know the-the others get them too. You should ask Steve, he still gets a lot from the war and other stuff” 

Peter began playing with the napkin as he spoke “Its just... scary. At times. I uh, didn’t, Uh, sleep last night after May t-take my phone. I wanted to talk to you for longer” 

Tony smiled slightly because finally his kid was actually talking to him. 

“I know and I’m sorry but May was right. I shouldn’t have been talking to you that late anyways and I should know that so don’t be mad at her” Tony sometimes forgot to be that responsible parent with Peter sometimes and that the kid has a bedtime sometimes slips his mind. 

“I’m not mad at her anymore. She said sorry this morning but it doesn’t matter” He looked up at Tony “I would have stayed up all night whether I was on the phone with you or not. You... being on the phone just helped” 

“Helped with what?” 

“With... I don’t know?” Peter looked around “Feeling... safe I guess and-and the panic I was feeling b-before” 

“You mean the panic attack you were having before I called?” Tony asked concerned. He knew knowing would be hard but at least then he could actually help instead of watching in silence. 

Peter shrugged “Um? I don’t know. Maybe-maybe a little. It was just better after I talked to you but then Aunt May took you away!” 

Tony was a bit surprised at Peter’s sudden outburst of anger towards his Aunt so he raised his hand to calm the kid down. “Aunt May was just doing what she thought was best for you, Pete. You know that” 

Peter wrapped his arms around himself protectively again as the waitress came with their drinks and smiled happily down at Peter “What can I get your guys to eat today?” 

She looked towards Peter first but he ignored her because for the stupidest reason food completely slipped his mind. He was at a freaking food diner and it slipped his mind. 

He was feeling a mix of things because he hadn’t eaten in so long it was actually scary and he was starving but the thought of food made him feel sick. 

Tony spoke first “I’ll have french toast with bacon on the side and Pete? What do you want?” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and pretended to look at the menu but didn’t say anything. 

“He’ll have pancakes and cantaloupe on the side. Thanks” Tony remembered how Peter hated bacon and loved fruit with his breakfast so he hoped the kid was happy with that. 

The waitress was gone so Tony turned his full attention back to Peter to ask his question again. “Peter, your Aunt cares about you and so do I so last night when she took your phone she was only doing what she thought was best for you” 

Peter nodded his head. “It wasn’t best for me so she doesn’t know” 

Peter thought about how May was practically forcing him to stay with Tony tonight after he told her he didn’t want to. After taking his phone too even when he had asked her not to, she didn’t know what was best for him. 

“You shouldn’t have been up so late and that was my fault-“

Peter interrupted him “No! No, she doesn’t because I stayed up all night either way and at least when I was talking to you I was h-happy and-and I wasn’t crying all night! So she doesn’t know, I just-I just... I just wanted to talk to you” 

At this point Peter couldn’t hold back the tears that were threatening to fall out. They had been at the back of his eyes slowly wanting to make an appearance and now they were out. 

Peter placed his hands over his face to try and stop the tears but it was too late. It was too late and now he was crying in public! 

“Oh, Pete” Tony’s heart broke as he watched Peter break down in front of him. He stood up and sat down in the booth beside Peter, pulling him into his chest and wrapping his arms around the small kid. 

Peter didn’t flinch or try and push Tony away like he had been expecting but instead Peter pushed himself closer into Tony and cried into his shirt. 

Peter felt stupid. He felt worthless and stupid. But there in Tony’s arms he also felt safe. 

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay” Tony gently began rocking Peter back and forth wishing so badly that they could be in private at the tower right now. 

The waitress came with their food and looked surprised to see the two but when she realized that Peter was crying she silently placed the food down and gently patted Tony on the shoulder giving him a sad look before leaving. 

“I just-I-I didn’t w-wan’ wanna be a-a-alone last night” Peter sobbed out. He had removed his face from Tony’s shirt to wipe his tears and snot on the jacket that Tony gave him to where. 

“It’s okay, that was last night. You’re not alone now” Tony continued to rock the two “Do you wanna spend the night at the tower tonight?” 

Peter didn’t have time to think about it because his body was already nodding his head yes and forcing the words out “Y-yeah” 

Tony smiled to himself. If Peter said no he was gonna sleep in Peter’s bedroom at his apartment because there was no way he was gonna leave Peter right now. “Okay. I’ll be there, buddy, it’s okay” 

Peter nodded again and then pulled away from Tony feeling a bit embarrassed. The mans shirt was wet with his tears and most likely snot as well. Tony didn’t seem to mind. 

“How about we eat now?” The man suggested. Peter didn’t seem to notice the food at the table because he looked surprised. 

“O-okay” 

Tony moved over back to his side so that the two were now sitting across from each other again and Peter felt like he wanted to ask Tony to stay on his side with him because on one side was the wall and on the other side was Tony so he felt safe and now he felt exposed. He didn’t ask Tony.

Peter just stared at his pancakes not really feeling hungry to eat them at the same time as he was starving and wanted to shove the pancakes in his mouth. 

Tony was cutting his food as he watched Peter stare at his on the corner of his eye. It was so unlike Peter to be acting this way. He would usually be shoving his food in his face without even using his fork but now the kid wasn’t doing anything. 

“Would you like me to cut your food for you, Pete?” Tony asked somewhat joking but also somewhat serious “You look to be struggling right now” 

Peter shook his head and picked up his fork and knife to get ready to cut his food up. He knew he couldn’t eat all of it but maybe if he ate a bit he would feel a little bit better than he does right now. 

Tony smiled weakly as Peter at least attempted to cut his food up. It was almost like he was disgusted by it and didn’t wanna eat it by the looks of his face. 

“What’s wrong, buddy? Want mine instead-“ 

Tony tried but Peter spoke “No, it’s just- I’m not that hungry” 

“Just try and eat a bit. You don’t look too good, buddy. You look pale. And thin” Tony wasn’t hungry himself but he knew that sometimes he needed to set an example for the kid for him to actually listen and follow. He picked up on that early on with Peter. 

Whenever the kid stayed over Tony would have to go to bed himself or at least pretend to go to bed just to get Peter to go to bed. Or he would have to actually sit down and eat dinner to get Peter to eat sitting down because he was nonstop all the time. 

Like now, Tony thought that if he showed Peter he was eating than he would actually eat too. Thankfully it worked because the kid began to pick up his fork to eat. 

Peter wanted to vomit. He wanted to throw the plate across the room and run back to his apartment and cry himself to sleep. 

At the same time he wanted to shove all the food in his mouth and crawl up on Tony’s lap where he felt safe. 

Sadly, both of those things weren’t gonna happen because after the fourth bite Peter was feeling sick. He kept chewing on his pancake to the point where it was making him want to gag and run to the bathroom but he managed to get it down with the help from his chocolate milk. 

Tony was watching Peter the whole time, silence between the two. 

.  
.  
.

It was still early and Peter didn’t have to go to school for another forty minutes so they left the restaurant with both half plates of food left uneaten because truth was Tony wasn’t hungry and Peter felt too sick to eat. 

The car ride was silent for the first five minutes but Tony broke that silence in order for him to get Peter to take his mind off of whatever he was thinking about.

“What do you wanna do tonight?” Tony asked breaking the silence. 

Peter looked up at him and then turned his attention back to the country road in front of them. Tony had kept driving straight not really wanting to be in the city right now. 

“Oh um, what?” Peter asked confused. His head was spinning and his stomach was also spinning. 

“Tonight. After school when I pick you up” Tony clarified “What do you wanna do?” 

Peter shut his eyes hard and wrapped his arms around his stomach. Just thinking about being back in his classroom at school and having to lie to Tony was making him feel sick already and now he had to hold all that in to actually go to school. 

“Pete?” Tony placed his hand on Peter’s leg for comfort because the kid was kinda scaring him right now but Peter violently flinched so he quickly removed his hand. “Pete-“

“Pull over. P- pull over, Tony” Peter commanded. He opened his eyes and looked at Tony desperately hoping the man will pull the car over. 

Once Tony saw the desperation and fear in the kids brown wet eyes he pulled over on the side of the road and before the car was fully stopped Peter was opening the door and falling out. 

Peter got caught by his seatbelt but it stretched enough to let him empty his stomach on the side of the road. Some got on his pants and shoes but he didn’t care about that. 

“Shit! Shit! Kid. Peter” Tony was about to grab Peter and catch him before he could jump out of the car but the seatbelt did that for him and now Tony knew why Peter wanted him to pull over. 

He got out of the car and quickly rounded it be on the kids side. Tony gently grabbed Peter with one hand and with the other hand he undid his seatbelt and let Peter fall into his arms but suddenly Peter was leaning forward again and vomiting once more. 

Tony wasn’t even phased by it thanks to his drinking days back in his playboy years. 

“It’s okay. Let it out” Tony encouraged and continued to rug Peter’s back who was now gagging and shaking. 

It was a little bit scary to see that the only thing the kid was vomiting looked to be pancakes and water. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes as Peter continued to vomit which eventually turned into dry heaving after he emptied his stomach. He was slumped against Tony’s chest uncomfortably but thankful to be in the mans comfort as Tony now went to gently rubbing his arm up and down threw his jacket that he gave to Peter. 

“Do you think you’re done?” Tony asked making sure not to rush Peter if he still felt like more was gonna come up but he knew that the kid was done. At least for now. 

Peter shook his head because he thought there was still more to come although there couldn’t possibly be anything else considering he had only the pancakes in his stomach. 

Tony felt horrible. He had basically forced Peter to eat after the kid had said he wasn’t hungry. 

They sat there on the uncomfortable ground for a few minutes before Tony decided that he should get Peter back in the car and to the tower because there was no way Peter was going to school. 

“Let’s get in the car, come, bud” Tony stood up and had to practically lift Pete up and into the car but Peter stopped him. 

“W-wait! My pants. I-I’m dirty” Peter pointed out sadly. 

Tony couldn’t care less about his car right now but of course Peter would care about the seats “Pete, it’s just vomit. I don’t care” 

Peter looked at his pants sadly so Tony sighed “Do you wanna take your pants off-“

“No! N-no, I-I wanna keep them on” Peter’s whole body stiffened and his heart beat started beating really fast but he didn’t even mean to react that way. He just thought about his teachers voice and in his classroom and-

“Okay. Okay. Don’t worry about the seats then” Tony spoke patiently and helped Peter into the seat before shutting the door and getting into the drivers side. 

Peter was looking down at his now wet with vomit pants as Tony started the car and did a u-turn so he could go to the tower. 

Peter picked up on the direction they were going soon enough and he felt his heart beat getting faster again. He knew Tony was raking him to the tower and not to the school but he had to go to school because then his teacher would- 

“What are you doing? I’m supposed to be going to school, Tony. Take me to s-school” Peter looked towards Tony desperately. 

Tony wasn’t sure Peter was serious. He turned to him “Are you serious, Peter? You just threw up on the side of the road and it looks like you’re missing more than just one night of sleep. We’re going to the tower and you’re gonna sleep” 

That caused Peter to freak out because Tony has to take him to school and he could not sleep at the tower because he knew what would happen if he slept and he couldn’t have Tony find out about his bed wetting. May knew and that was enough. 

“No, Tony, just-just take me to s-school. Please” Peter was starting to freak out and if he didn’t breathe properly he felt a panic attack would come on. 

Tony was able to spot the beginnings of a panic attack and he could see that Peter was about to have one over him not bringing the kid to the school so he reluctantly gave in. As much as he wanted to bring Peter to the tower now he would just have to wait a few more hours. 

“Alright, Pete” Tony did another u-turn. “I’ll take you to school, bud, just breathe”

Peter nodded and thanked Tony in his head. He felt ridiculous. He threw up in front of Tony and almost had a panic attack in front of the man as well. 

By the time they pulled up to the school Peter was only twenty minutes late for his first period class which wasn’t so bad considering everything. As Tony pulled up on the side of the school and put the car in park, he felt sick. 

Peter tried to move his legs to get out of the car and reach for the door handle but he couldn’t do it. He looked up at the school and knew his teacher was in there. He felt so vulnerable and used and he knew his teacher would hurt him again today after class and he just felt so sick. 

“I’ll be here after school, Pete. Call me if you need me to come get you” Tony went to go touch Peter again but then thought better of it and instead he reached into the back seat to pull out his backpack. 

Peter took it silently and opened the car door getting ready to step out. He stood up fully and felt tears burn the back of his eyes but he knew he had to do it. He had to go inside the school where his teacher was waiting for him. 

“Hey, Pete? Remember what I said” Tony called out the window and Peter only nodded pulling Tony’s all too big jacket over his small frame and turning to go into the school. 

Tony watched Peter take a few steps and just as he was about to drive away Peter stopped walking and then dropped to the ground and covered his hand over his face. 

Peter couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t force his legs to move and he couldn’t force the tears back anymore. It was easier to force the food down in the restaurant but he was leaving Tony right now and he couldn’t do it. 

He tried but he couldn’t. 

Peter opened his eyes and even though it was still blurry from the tears, he could still make out Tony’s car parked there so Peter used all his energy to get to his feet and make his way back to Tony’s car. 

“Peter, buddy?” Tony asked concerned. Peter practically threw himself into his chest and began crying. 

“I’m s-sorry. Couldn’t do it” Peter sobbed out. 

“You don’t have to do anything, Peter” Tony rubbed comforting circles on the kids too boney back “Let’s go back to the tower”

Less than a minute ago Peter has been begging Tony to take him to school in fear of what would happen if he didn’t go but now he would do anything just to get away. To go to the tower with Tony where he felt the most safe. 

Peter whimpered and nodded weakly into Tony’s chest but he refused to leave the mans warmth. 

Tony noticed this and as bad as he felt for trying to pull Peter away from him, he knew that he couldn’t have Peter practically sitting on his lap while he drove the car back to the tower. 

“You gotta let go of me, Pete” Tony tried gently but Peter wasn’t having any of that and shook his head “It’s just for the ride to the tower then you can have me, bud” 

Peter reluctantly let go of the man and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He knew he probably looked pathetic and weak but that’s what he was. He let his teacher take advantage of him and he didn’t even do anything. He was Spider-Man for crying out loud!

Tony took the car out of park and pulled out of the school parking lot. He glanced over at the kid in the passenger seat next to him and he felt this sudden urge to hold him tight and protect him. He usually always felt that way around the kid but it was stronger this time. 

Peter turned his head to lean against the cold window. The cool felt good on his forehead but every time Tony would hit a bump his head would smack against the window and it would hurt but he didn’t care. 

After the third smack, Tony had enough. He expected Peter to at least react a little bit but he didn’t even seem to notice that his head was hitting the window each bump. At first Tony thought the kid was sleeping but he was in fact awake and staring outside. 

“Kiddo, move your head before you hurt yourself” Tony didn’t get a response from Peter so he tried again “Kid? Peter!” 

“Huh?” Peter flinched a bit and looked towards Tony. He didn’t even realize Tony had been calling him. 

“Did you just hear me?” Tony asked concerned but Peter was just looking at him not even seeming to process any of what Tony was saying. 

“I um, have a headache” Peter said quietly. He didn’t actually have one, well, there was a pounding in his head but it’s been there for a few days so it’s nothing new. 

“Yeah, I’m not surprised” Tony turned his attention to Peter and looked at his head trying to check if he had any blood or a bump. Satisfied that there was nothing there he turned his attention back to the road “Put your head somewhere else if you wanna lie down” 

Peter leaned his head back up against the window because he didn’t care about his head smacking it. Tony however seemed to have a problem with this “What’s up with you? Didn’t you hear what I just said, Peter? Move you head away from the window” 

“I don’t care” Peter spoke in monotone. He didn’t care at all. 

“Well I do” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose to try and calm down so he didn’t lose it on the kid “We’ll be at the tower soon and then you can sleep”

Peter didn’t want to sleep. Sleep was the last thing he wanted right now because the thought of having a nightmare and waking up wet was not something he could deal with right now and especially in Tony’s tower. 

“I don’t wanna sleep” Peter said stubbornly. Tony glanced over at the kid and was at lost with what to do. No wonder May sent him over to the tower. 

Tony knew that something was wrong with Peter and whether it had to do with his nightmares or maybe something happened as Spider-Man, either way Tony had to help his kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I have something important to say so I’m going on vacation in a few days meaning I’m not gonna be able to post any chapters or write so there won’t be another update for at least 2-3 weeks
> 
> I’m so sorry but I just don’t want you guys to think I’ve abandoned this fic because I would NEVER im just going on vacation 
> 
> I’m gonna miss you guys but I’ll see you soon with a new update:)


	10. Where’d you go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii guys!! I’m back!! 
> 
> I wanted to make this chapter wayyyy linger but I’m exhausted and I wanted to get a chapter out today so here it is.... I promise next chapter will be out next week and will be a lot longer:)

They had arrived at the tower hours ago. 

Tony told Peter to go to his room and try to rest his eyes for a little bit since he looked like a walking zombie but Peter had refused to go. It was almost like the kid had refused to leave his side and Tony was used to that by now. 

For all the time he’s known Peter, he’s known that the kid was clingy and Peter knew that too so he would cling to him without a care in the world, bud now Peter was trying to cling to him like to didn’t wanna make it obvious what he was doing and it broke Tony’s heart. 

Tony had called May and let her know that Peter wasn’t gonna be at school today because he had gotten sick and May was totally fine with that. She actually seemed happy that Peter wasn’t going to school and was with Tony instead. 

Now they were seated on the couch in the living room together, tv playing some kind of animal documentary that neither Tony or Peter were listening to. They were more focused on one another. 

Peter was pressed into Tony’s side with his arm across the mans stomach as if he was holding him down and making sure he didn’t go anywhere while Tony had his arm around his kids body and his free hand was playing with Peter’s curly hair. Tony was perfectly content to stay here with Peter for as long as the kid would like. 

Peter on the other hand was enjoying being with Tony like he had wanted to be all week but he knew he couldn’t fall asleep no matter how safe and comfortable he felt. 

The animal documentary coming from the tv in the background and the sound of Tony’s steady heartbeat was enough to put him into a peaceful sleep where he knew he would have no nightmares but he also knew he would wake up with wet pants and get Tony wet in the process so he couldn’t risk that. 

Peter still wasn’t sure if he was gonna be spending the night or not. Part of him really wanted to because he knew he would be safe but the other part of him knew he would have an accident and Tony would find out because there was no way he could stay awake another night. It just wasn’t possible. 

Tony noticed Peter’s head would fall forward every few seconds and then he would jolt himself awake and repeat the process again and again. After about thirty minutes of the constant struggle to stay awake Tony gently shook Peter’s body. 

“Go sleep, kid. I can see you struggling to stay awake” Tony whispered into his kids ear but Peter immediately started shaking his head. 

“M’fine. Just-just put on something a little more entertaining” Peter struggled to reach for the remote but Tony stopped him. 

“We can watch something after you get some sleep” Tony went to remove his arm from around Peter but Peter started freaking out and tried to pull Tony’s arm back around his body for protection and comfort. “I’m totally fine with you sleeping here if you want. I’ll stay” 

“M’staying here but I’m not sleeping” Peter spoke with conviction. He was not gonna sleep. 

Tony sighed. He didn’t understand why Peter was fighting sleep so hard. They had fallen asleep tons on times on this exact couch in this exact position together and Peter had been more than okay with that so why was he now putting up such a fight to stay awake?

“Is it nightmares?” Tony blurted out. 

Peter’s face scrunched up in confusion as he lifted his head off of Tony’s chest and looked up at the man “Is what nightmares?” 

With Peter’s head lifted off of his chest, Tony used this new angle to brush a gently thumb along his kids temple, letting his hand linger on his face for a few seconds. He didn’t miss the way Peter leaned into his gently touch and the soft whimper he let out when he removed his hand. 

Tony explained with a soft tone “The reason you don’t wanna sleep? Is it because you’re having nightmares?” 

Peter threw his head back onto Tony’s chest, letting out a sigh. He shrugged his shoulders and moved his head down onto Tony’s lap so he could turn his body into a new position so he could look up at Tony. 

“Peter, I’m here to help you but you need to talk to me, buddy” Tony pleaded “You need to let me in” 

Peter contemplated Tony’s words carefully. He could open up and tell Tony everything that his teacher did to him. All the touching and hands where there shouldn’t be. He could end it all right now but when he opened his mouth to speak he couldn’t get anything out. He could see Tony eyeing him on the corner of his eyes but he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t open up to Tony. 

Tony watched Peter struggle with words, opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish as he waited patiently for words to come pouring out but nothing came. 

He placed a gently hand on Peter’s forehead and used his finger tips to brush the kids baby soft hair off his forehead. Tony noticed that Peter always looked five years younger whenever he did this but now Peter looked so sad. His face was too pale which caused his under eye circles to stand out even more and he had obviously lost weight by the looks of his cheeks. 

The kid wasn’t heavy to begin with, the spider bite making him a lot lighter than a kid his age should be and Tony still remembers the first time he picked Peter up. 

They had been working on some new upgrades for the Spider-Man suit and Tony needed to take some measurements of Peter but Peter was goofing off and being silly so Tony walked over to him and without even thinking anything of it he picked the kid up under the arms and practically sent him flying into the air because he had put a lot more strength into it than what was needed. 

He still remembers Peter’s face and how he grabbed onto Tony’s arms to support him, thinking Tony was about to toss him into the air. 

So Peter had always been light but now, with Peter half lying on his lap, Tony knows that Peter is a lot lighter than what he usually is and that scares the shit out of him. 

Tony continued running his hand through Peter’s hair as he spoke again “I noticed you hadn’t been out as Spider-Man in a few days. Did something happen that you wanna talk about?” 

Tony didn’t know why he was even asking Peter if something had happened as Spider-Man because he kept full watch on Peter at all times from when he puts the suit on to when he takes it off. 

Everything was monitored so Tony knew as so much as if Peter were to trip and fall on the sidewalk but he wanted to check if maybe he missed something. Maybe something happened to Peter as Spider-Man but it wasn’t a physical injury. Something the kid could have seen or heard that scared him. 

“Hmm?” Tony gently nudged Peter’s arm when he never said anything. 

“Nothing happened as Spider-Man” Peter mumbled out “I just- I guess I wanted a little break, I guess” because how can I be a save others if I can’t even safe myself, Peter thought but didn’t say. 

Tony continued the motions in his hair which was the only thing keeping Peter grounded at the moment. Tony sighed again “So nothing happened as Spider-Man, no one said anything or you didn’t see anything that scared you?” 

Peter groaned loudly and rolled his body so he was still lying on Tony’s lap but now he wasn’t looking up at him. “No! Nothing happened as Spider-Man. Can’t you just... leave me alone about it?” 

Tony wasn’t expecting that outburst from Peter but he couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised. He understood though, the kid needed his space. Probably some teenager hormonal thing going on. 

“Alright. Say it without the attitude next time” Tony tried to stand but Peter was still on him “Can you get off so I can leave you alone?” 

Peter seemed to realize what he said and immediately regretted it because the last thing he wanted was for Tony to actually leave him alone. Peter pushed himself up on his hands, bracing them on Tony’s legs as he looked up at the man, tear burning his vision. 

“N-no” Peter stuttered out “I didn’t-I didn't mean... just-“ 

Tony cut him off, placing his hands over the kids thin wrists and slowly lifting him up so he wasn’t on his lap anymore. “I get it, kid. You need some alone time and I’m not really- I’m not really good with all the... emotional stuff” 

Peter shook his head in fear as Tony lifted himself off the couch and began making his way towards the elevator. Peter reached out for the man and tried to call out for him but nothing came out of his mouth. 

He stood on shaky legs and rushed over to Tony, feeling his cheeks soak with his tears “Wait! I’m sorry! I-I-I didn’t mean, don’ leave me! Please don’ leave me, Tony. Stay!” 

Peter had caught up to Tony just in time for the man to hear his voice break and turn around to get a teenager crushing into his chest and tugging desperately against his shirt. 

Tony immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Peter’s small frame and held him close “I got you, Pete. I’m not leaving you” 

“I’m sorry” Peter sobbed out. 

Tony rubbed his boney back up and down “It’s okay, Pete. Don’t be sorry”

It took a few minutes for Peter to stop shaking and to calm down enough for Tony to start walking towards the kids bedroom with Peter still tucked tightly into his side. Peter didn’t seem to even realize they were moving towards his bedroom otherwise Tony’s sure that Peter would be stopping them both from heading in that direction. 

When they arrived in the hallway of Peter’s bedroom, Peter seemed to pick up on Tony’s intended destination and slowly started pulling back but still not letting go of Tony. 

“Wha-no” Peter tugged lightly on Tony but Tony could tell it was out of pure exhaustion why Peter was tugging so lightly. Both mentally and physically. 

“Come, buddy. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep” Tony said calmly but the angry look appeared on Peter’s already tear stained face as he tugged back. Peter seemed to stop his tugging and seem to way out his options, Whether he wanted to stay with Tony but go to sleep or not go to sleep but leave Tony. 

Peter seemed to decide to stay with Tony because he let the man pull him further into his bedroom and move towards his dresser drawers. Peter eyed the bed cautiously because it was as if his bed was a Crystal ball and he could see right through it showing him that if he goes to sleep on it then he’s gonna end up wetting the bed. 

Tony turned his attention back to him “Go change into these. You’re still in your puke clothes” 

Peter slowly grabbed the clothes from Tony but made no movement to go change into them. Tony pried Peter’s fingers from around his arm and gestured to the bathroom. “Go change in the bathroom and I’ll wait for you here” 

Peter hesitated. He watched Tony move to sit on his bed but he still didn’t move and he didn’t know why. 

He knew that Tony would never hurt him even if he were to get naked in front of him right now and give him that opportunity, he knew Tony would never hurt him but he still couldn’t move his legs to go change. Maybe it was just because changing meant sleeping and sleeping meant an accident meaning Tony would find out everything. 

Tony saw his hesitation and sighed “Unless you’re perfectly fine changing in front of me, kid, go ahead but the bathroom is right there” 

Peter slowly shook his head but moved to change in the bathroom anyways. Once inside he shut the door and took of his shirt that was still covered in his vomit. He had no idea why he didn’t change that earlier. 

Next were his pants which he hated taking off now but Peter quickly tugged them down glancing at the bathroom door and his pyjama pants. He knew only Tony was out there and he would protect him from anyone coming in. 

Peter knew just having on his underwear wouldn’t catch all the pee from soaking through his pants and going onto the bed so he debated putting some toilet paper in his underwear to try and catch some but that wouldn’t work either. Peter quickly looked around the bathroom for something he could use but there was absolutely nothing he could use to prevent an accident from making its way into the bed. 

Sighing in defeat, Peter slipped on his pyjama pants and went pee to try and empty his bladder as much as possible and when he was drying his hands on the towel he thought that the towel would be perfect. He could sleep on the towel and then after he wakes up he could put the towel into his laundry basket. 

There was no way that he could bring it out there without Tony seeing and being suspicious so he would have to get it after Tony leaves and hope he doesn’t fall asleep before then.

Peter opened the bathroom door but kept it a crack open so the light could still shine through so it wasn’t fully dark in his room. Tony looked up from his phone and held his arm out for him to cuddle into so Peter wasted no time in taking Tony’s offer as refuge to feel safe. 

“Do you feel better now that you’re in clean clothes?” Tony asked him but Peter didn’t answer. Tony didn’t push him to answer because he knew how that worked and that Peter would only freeze up on him.

Peter managed to relaxed into Tony quickly because the man made him feel safe. He made him feel like he could let all his guards down and still feel safe and protected because he was. Peter knew that Tony would protect him from his teacher hurting him. 

He wanted so badly to tell him that he was getting sexually assaulted by his teacher but he couldn’t. He was too scared what would happen next if he told Tony, or anyone else for that matter. 

Tony started playing with Peter’s hair while he quickly drifted off into a deep sleep. Peter tried so hard to stay awake until Tony left so he could put a towel down but he couldn’t stop his body from drifting off. 

Tony knew that Peter had fallen asleep awhile ago but he couldn’t bring himself to get up and leave. He wanted to stay just in case Peter woke up from a nightmare and needed his help. He couldn’t have Peter waking up alone and needing him there. 

After about an hour, Tony was still sitting with Peter by passing the time being on his phone until Peter woke up when his phone started ringing. He would have let it ring because he didn’t really care who it was but it was Pepper and he cared about that call because if he didn’t answer it then he would be getting a lecture from her later on tonight. Tony slowly and carefully tried to remove himself from Peter so he could answer the phone call. 

The kid hasn’t woken up from a nightmare or anything else the whole time so Tony was pretty sure that it was safe to leave him for a bit. At least enough time to answer the phone call then get right back to him. 

.  
.  
.

Peter woke up shortly after Tony left his room because he felt cold. 

Tony’s body heat was keeping him warm and now that he was gone Peter was cold and uncomfortable but he felt that he hadn’t wet the bed so that was good. In order to prevent him from wetting the bed, Peter decided that his best option would be to sleep on the floor with a towel under him so just in case if he wet himself while he was asleep then he could easily clean it up. 

He didn’t know how long Tony was gone for or how long he was going to be gone for but at least he could hide his accident just in case Tony walks in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor peter!!! I hope you guys like this!! I’m excited to write the next chapter!!


	11. Whatever I may be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
> 
> I LOVE Halloween sooo much it’s my fav time of year and I’m also so happy even tho this year I’m not dressing up or going out or doing anything:) 
> 
> I tried to get this chapter out yesterday since I try my best to update every Wednesday but I didn’t finish it since I wanted to make it longer so he it is:) I hope you guys like this. 
> 
> WARNINGS: read the tags as always. The last few chapters have been I guess you can say light in terms of everything else and after this chapter the lightless and cuddles end:) Warnings for suicidal thoughts although it’s not graphic and it was taking out of context, I just want everyone to be safe just in case
> 
> Have fun reading and happy Halloween:) Boo!

Falling asleep was a lot easier to do in his bedroom at the tower than his own bedroom in the apartment. 

Peter felt bad for thinking that and feeling that way but it wasn’t like he had much control over how quickly his body fell asleep, it just happened. He wanted it to happen as fast as it did at the tower back in his apartment but Peter knew that the reason he was able to fall asleep so quickly here was because he felt safe with Tony and the fact that he was in Stark Tower. 

The ground wasn’t that comfortable either but it was necessary for Peter not to sleep on the bed while he was in the tower. 

The next time Peter woke up, he didn’t know how long he had been sleeping for but he knew it couldn’t have been that long since he was still really tired and really weak feeling. Although that probably had something to do with the fact that he hasn’t had a proper meal in over three days more than the fact that he also hadn’t had a good night's rest in over three days. 

Peter rolled over onto his stomach and was confused for a second as to why he was looking under his bed but then he remembered what had happened and why he had to sleep on the floor. 

The realization of the whole situation reminded Peter why he was on the floor sleeping on a towel and when he went to check the towel only to find it dry had him smiling. He was so happy that he woke up dry but then his happiness faded. He shouldn’t be getting happy over the fact that he didn’t wet the bed, or in this case the floor. That wasn’t something a teenager should be happy about. 

Peter felt pathetic. He felt stupid, used and pathetic. 

He sat up and pressed his fist into both of his eyes to try and prevent the tears from falling that he felt burning behind him eyes. 

“Stupid, Peter” He whispered to himself. “Stupid stupid stupid.” 

It was too late because the tears made their way past his fists and started falling down his cheeks. Peter felt like he either spent his time getting sexually assaulted by his teacher or crying over it. 

“So stupid!” Peter yelled. His voice broke which followed by a sob and then another. He hated this so much. 

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t be brave enough to actually do something about it. He was Spider-Man for crying out loud and he couldn’t even stop his teacher from taking off his pants and helping himself to whatever he wanted. It wasn’t fair! 

There was a knock on the door that caused Peter to lift his head up really fast. He knew it was Tony. It had to be Tony but part of him told him it was his teacher coming to hurt him again and again so Peter lied back down and held his breath hoping the person at the door would leave. 

“It’s me, kid. Can I come in?” Another knock. It sounded like Tony but Peter wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure. 

Peter continued to hold his breath to try and be as quiet as possible and roll into a ball so his teacher couldn’t see him when he walked in here. 

The door slowly opened and in came a set of footsteps. Peter was too scared to look so he kept his eyes shut. 

“Pete?” Tony asked. He didn’t see the kid anywhere and it didn’t look like he was in the bathroom. 

Peter heard the person getting closer and closer until they were standing over him. Now here Peter was on the floor feeling open and vulnerable and there was nothing he could do about it now. 

Tony bend down once he saw Peter on the floor, shaking. “Kid, what’s-“ 

As soon as Tony places his hand on Peter’s upper leg to try and comfort him, the kid started freaking out and kicking his legs around violently. “No! Don’t hurt me! Please. D-don’t.” 

Tony stood back up and held his hands in front of himself to show Peter he wasn’t gonna touch him or hurt him. “Kid, Peter, I’m not gonna hurt you, buddy. Why are you on the floor? Did you fall out of bed?” 

Peter didn’t answer Tony as he continued to stare up at him. Peter was trying to catch his breath to not freak out like he just did. He wanted to calm down but he was having a really hard time doing so. 

Tony bent down to be closer to Peter’s level again “I’m not gonna hurt you, Peter. Can I just touch your leg?” 

Tony slowly lowered his hand to Peter’s leg, closely watching his face to make sure he was still okay with the touch. Once his hand made contact with Peter’s leg, Peter didn’t flinch like Tony expected him to, instead he leaned closer into the touch. 

Peter was starting to feel a lot more calmer now that Tony was here and his teacher was not. 

Logically, it was impossible for his teacher to be here right now in the tower with him because he had to first get into the well protected building and then to make it onto Tony Stark's personal level he would have had to be Tony Stark himself to get allowed access which was impossible. Peter also knew that if by some miracle his teacher managed to get past all of the security details he still wouldn’t be able to get past Iron Man himself. Then again, Tony doesn’t know that his teacher touches him in private places and makes Peter touch him in private places. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Tony asked, breaking Peter away from his thoughts. Tony had some idea as to what happened. He knew that Peter most likely had a nightmare and fell off the bed, there was no other reason for him to be on the floor like this and freaking out. “Did you have a nightmare?” 

Peter debated what he should say to Tony. He wanted so badly to tell him the truth but he can’t. It wouldn’t come out of his mouth even if he tried because his teacher was controlling him even if he wasn’t even close to Peter. 

Tony nudged Peter gently with his hand to get Peter to say something. “Um, I-I don’t know” 

Tony moved a bit so that his back was leaning up against the bed frame. He didn’t expect Peter to mimic his movements and follow him so that now Peter was in the same position but about an inch or two away from him. 

“You don’t know?” Tony asked. He didn’t want to rush Peter or pressure him into answering. 

“Um,” Peter paused. He wanted some physical contact from the one person that provided that for him where he can actually feel safe. That was Tony. 

“I think I had a nightmare” Peter lied. He knew he didn’t have a nightmare. His life was one giant nightmare so if his thoughts were counted as one then yes, he had a nightmare but he didn’t have one in his sleep. 

“Do you remember what it was about?” Tony asked slowly. He put his arm around Peter’s shoulders since the kid was inching closer to him every few seconds. He knew from personal experience that Peter loved physical contact at all times and would sometimes seek it randomly but he especially wanted and needed it during times like this and Tony was happy to give it to him. 

Tony knew that Peter struggled a lot with nightmares and it was obviously getting worse. He could tell that something was going on with the kid but he couldn’t tell what it was. He wanted so badly to find out but he couldn’t. 

Usually Peter was horrible at keeping any kind of secrets but now he seemed to be really good at it. 

Tony figures that Peter wasn’t gonna try and sleep anymore or talk to him about what happened and Tony didn’t want to push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do anyways so he stood up and helped Peter stand as well. 

“How about we go watch a movie? I’ll even let you pick” Tony suggested. He saw a small smile creep up on the kids face so he hoped that Peter felt at least a little bit better. 

Peter liked that idea. Sitting and watching a movie meant no talking about how he was slowly falling apart inside and sitting close to Tony. That was good. “Y-yeah. I want to” 

Tony smiled and started leading Peter towards his bedroom door “Good. What movie do you wanna watch?” 

Peter thought about it before deciding on a funny one. He didn’t want a sad one because he had enough crying for today. “Grownups two” 

“Good pick” 

They made their way into the living room and while Peter set the movie up, Tony went into the kitchen to get some popcorn and drinks for their movie. When he came back Peter was already on the couch with a blanket pulled up all the way to his chin so that just his hands and head was visible. 

Tony smiled at how cute the scene was as he sat down beside Peter and pulled over some of the blankets and put the popcorn bowl in the middle, putting down the drinks. 

Peter wanted to watch a movie but he did not want to eat anything. He knew he probably should but he couldn’t bring himself to want to. 

The thought of eating right now made him feel sick and wanting to vomit so he pushed the bowl aside. “I don’t want any popcorn” 

Tony did not expect Peter to say that. The same kid who would finish his bowl not even halfway through the movie and then run into the kitchen to make two more bowls. No way, not his Peter that just passed up on popcorn. 

Tony knew that something was going on with Peter. Whether it was school or Spider-Man or his nightmares acting up, maybe a little bit of everything so Tony didn’t press on it or say anything to Peter to make him feel bad about not eating the popcorn. He wanted Peter to relax right now and just forget about what was bugging him. 

“Okay then. More for me” Tony half joked. He hit play on the movie and lifted his arm in a silent invitation for Peter to attach to his side and cuddle him. 

Peter leaned against Tony but placed his hand on the man's chest as he looked up at him desperately “Don’t let me fall asleep, okay?” 

Tony looked down at Peter and saw the desperation in his eyes “What?” 

“Just-just don’t let me fall asleep” Peter said. He felt his voice shake but he didn’t even know why because he wasn’t crying. “I don’t wanna sleep so-so if I fall asleep then wake me up. Promise?” 

“Okay, I promise” Tony agreed. He didn’t want to agree because Peter desperately needed the sleep but he didn’t want to break the kids trust. 

Peter, content with Tony’s answer, let himself relax against Tony’s side and tried his best to enjoy the movie. 

Watching that movie was probably the best two hours of Peter’s entire week. He actually laughed a few times that weren’t forced just to make people stop worrying about him. They were real. Tony even kept true to his promise and woke Peter up after he dozed off two times. After the second time though Tony suggested that Peter sit up fully so he didn’t fall asleep again but that meant less physical contact with Tony so Peter would risk falling asleep. 

It definitely was the best two hours of his week but now all of that was coming to an end and the week wasn’t even over yet. 

After the movie Tony tried to get Peter to eat something but the kid kept saying he wasn’t hungry and that he didn’t feel good and Tony knew he was lying. He dropped it anyways. 

They then went down to the lab for a bit where Tony tricked Peter into drinking some apple juice. 

“Hey, Pete. Come drink this for me and tell me if it tastes funny to you” Tony said. 

Peter walked over curiously “What is it?” 

“Apple juice. Or I think it is” 

Peter took a few sips and seemed to think about the taste but Tony pushed the cup up to his mouth more “You have to drink more than that” 

Peter drank the whole thing but he didn’t taste anything weird. “Nope. It tastes just fine” 

“Hmmm.” Tony pretended to act confused but really he was proud of himself for getting Peter to drink something. 

They stayed in the lab for only an hour because Peter really wasn’t feeling it and Tony knew the worst place to be when you are distracted is the lab for many many reasons. 

They went back upstairs and sat down on the couch when Aunt May called Tony. 

“Hey May. How are you?” Tony crossed his legs on the couch and leaned back. 

“Good. How’s Peter?” May asked sounding really tried and like she had just been crying. 

Tony looked over at Peter who was sitting next to him on the couch but not touching him. He was watching some YouTube video on his phone but Tony knew he was listening in on the conversation. 

“He’s good.” Tony lied. He knew Peter wasn’t good. “He’s sitting right next to me” 

There was silence over the phone for a few moments in which Tony didn’t know what to say. He could hear May breathing over the phone but he stayed silent. 

“Can I speak to him?” 

“Yeah, one sec” Tony gently nudged Peter and held the phone out in front of his face “Your Aunt wants to talk to you, bud” 

Peter looked at the phone in Tony’s hand like he was a bomb. He was trying to decide if he wanted to answer the phone or not when he decided to do he grabbed it and held it to his ear for a few seconds before speaking. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi baby” May said sadly “Are you feeling okay?” 

Peter thought about how to answer that question. He felt better now that he was at the tower but he still felt like shit. His head was killing him and he was starving but the thought of food was making him sick. Also the fact that his mind was racing wondering what his teacher thought when he didn’t show up for class today. Did he touch another student?

“Um, better I guess now that with Tony at the tower,” Peter said. He felt Tony pull him closer which Peter loved because he felt safe. 

“That’s good, honey.” May paused. “I was just calling to see if you wanted to spend the night? I’m gonna allow you if you really want to but if you do you have to go to bed on time and go to school tomorrow” 

“Um,” Peter paused to look at Tony who was looking at him. Peter didn’t want Tony to be watching him like that because it made him uncomfortable. He also liked it how Tony was watching him because it meant that he was safe and that Tony would protect him. “Y-yeah. I want to sleep over” 

Beside Peter, Tony smiled. He was gonna ask Peter if he wanted to stay the night anyways but now he doesn't have to. 

“Alright. Am I on speaker phone?” May asked. She sounded nervous and that made Peter nervous. 

“No. You’re not” 

“Are you sure you want to stay the night, baby?” May asked. Peter could tell that she was concerned about something but Peter had an idea he knew what that was. 

“I’m sure, May”

“What if you wet the bed, Peter? What if you have an accident? Did you tell Tony about what’s been happening at night time?” May asked really quickly. “I don’t want you to be put in an uncomfortable situation if it does happen and you try to hide it from him” 

Peter didn’t know how to respond to May with Tony right beside him “I’m-I’m not going to so-so stop” 

May sighed. “Peter, please promise me you’ll tell Tony before you go to bed about your accidents. You can’t leave him in the dark, he can help you and I can’t do this on my own either” 

Peter sighed. He didn’t want to be having this conversation with May right now. Or ever. He didn’t want to tell Tony or May but she found out by accident. 

“No. I’ll be fine. Goodnight, May. I love you” Peter felt like a horrible person for putting May through this but he couldn’t help it. 

“I love you too, baby” May said sounding defeat. 

Peter passed the phone back to Tony and leaned against his shoulder. As Tony talked to May. 

“Thanks for letting him stay over” Tony was really happy that he had the kid for the night so he could keep his eye on him and make sure he eats something before bed. 

“He really likes spending time with you, Tony” May told him. She didn’t know why because she’s told Tony this many times before. “Just… make sure he actually goes to sleep tonight” 

“I’ll make sure he sleeps, May. Don’t worry about anything, I’ve got him” Tony reassured May then they said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. 

Tony placed his phone in his pocket but didn’t say anything after that. He just sat there with Peter and didn’t say anything. 

Peter was content to sit with Tony in silence and enjoy the man's presence for as long as he could because he knew as soon as he went to bed he wouldn’t be this content anymore and his thoughts are going to eat him alive. 

Tony stood up and waited for Peter to stand as well. “You barely ate anything all day so how bout I make you something small?” 

Peter looked up at Tony and shook his head slowly “I’m not hungry” 

“I don’t care if you’re not hungry, Peter. You need to eat, so what do you want?” Tony sighed. He didn’t mind having to feed Peter but he was gonna give him to May and have her deal with this but now he had to which was hard. 

“Tony, I am not hungry” Peter tried to say sternly but it came out weak and tired. 

“Peter, I do not care” Tony said sternly and it actually worked for him. 

Peter stood up. He was way too tired to fight with Tony right now he was hungry and could definitely eat something even if it made him sick to do so. 

When they got to the kitchen, Peter sat on the island stool and put his head in his hands. As Tony moved around the kitchen trying to find something to cook for Peter. 

“Do you want soup?” Tony asked, holding up a package of soup. Peter shook his head so Tony continued to look. “Sandwich?” 

Peter shook his head again. Tony looked some more and was about to tell Peter to tell him what he wanted when he spotted a box of Kraft Dinner. Peter’s favourite and Tony was really good at cooking it. 

Tony held the box out for Peter to see. Peter couldn’t stop the slight smile from appearing on his face. He felt a lot better when he was with Tony as if everything in his life was okay even just for a few moments. 

Tony got to work on making Peter’s bowl of Kraft Dinner while no conversation went on between the two males. Tony wanted to start one but he knew Peter would rather sit in silence so that’s what they did. 

After Peter’s food was made Tony placed the bowl in front of his kid and a bottle of ketchup the way Peter likes to eat his KD. Tony thought it was disgusting at first but then one time Peter forced him to try it, literally forced him to by holding the spoon to his mouth while Peter sat on his lap so he couldn’t go anywhere so he had no choice other than to take a bite and it was pretty good. 

Tony saw Peter hesitantly looking at the bowl and To y debated force feeding peter as well, not that he would ever do that to the kid. “You don’t have to eat it all. Just a few bites” 

Peter slowly picked up the spoon and went to take a bite. After that all his hunger really hit him and he took another bite then another and another. Peter kept eating until he felt somewhat better and he bowl was practically empty. Tony watched proudly as he pretended to be busy on his phone while Peter are. 

“All done?” Tony asked. Peter nodded his head and Tony wasn’t sure if he was seeing things or if he actually saw some colour go on Peter’s face making him appear less pale. “Do you feel better?” 

Peter thought about it before nodding his head “Um, y-yeah. Thanks” 

“No problem, kid” 

They continued to sit together on the couch, not saying a word to each other until it was past 10:00pm. Peter never went to bed this early anymore since he was always going out as Spider-Man or trying to finish his homework but May didn’t know that and neither did Tony. Well, he probably did know but he would still send Peter to bed at this time since he didn’t even have his suit or any homework. Not that Peter would be going out as Spider-Man anyways. 

The reason why Peter wasn’t going to bed at 10:00om anymore now was because his mind wouldn’t let him rest. He was too scared about what is going to happen when he goes to school the next day or what his teacher is doing right now. 

“You should head up to bed now, kid. You heard your Aunt” Tony said but he made no effort to get up himself. He knew that Peter didn’t want to go to bed either so he was getting ready for a lot of whining and use of the puppy dog eyes but Tony was surprised when he got none of that in return. 

“Alright. I’ll just um, go up now” Peter stood up and gave Tony a weak smile “Goodnight” 

“Night, kid” Tony was left staring at Peter with a shocked expression as the kid left his view and made his way to his bedroom. Tony did not expect that at all. It was so unlike Peter and it scared him because he could see that this was not his Peter. 

.  
.  
.

Peter made his way to his bedroom and pulled out his pyjamas out of his dresser that had a bunch of clothes for him for when he stayed at the tower and went into his bathroom to change. 

Normally he would be taking off his clothes without a care in the world if he changed in his bedroom and if his bedroom door was open, he’s done that enough times at the tower and he didn’t care because he was comfortable here but now he was scared. 

Even though Peter felt safe here he was still scared that there was this possibility that his teacher could come out of nowhere and start hurting him again. And again. 

Also the fact that he didn’t like getting naked anymore so having to bathe or change into a new set of clothes was really hard for Peter so when he did change and had to get naked he wanted to make sure he did it where there was a low chance of someone getting to him and hurting him. That was in his bathroom. 

After Peter changed into his pyjamas he brushed his teeth and got into bed. 

Peter did not want to sleep. He wanted to do anything but sleep right now. Like hanging out with Tony somewhere even if they were just on the couch not doing anything. Anything with Tony would be better than trying to stay awake in his bed even though he was exhausted and wanted so badly to sleep. 

Peter debated if he should go back out in the living room to hang out with Tony but he decided against it since Tony would probably ask him a bunch of questions that he didn’t want to answer. 

He tried to stay awake by playing on his phone and watching some YouTube videos but even that wasn’t helping. 

Peter’s eyes were slowly shutting so he got out of bed and went down to the kitchen so he could find one of Tony’s pills that he usually takes when he doesn’t want to sleep and is busy working on a new project in the lab. 

Peter made it to the kitchen without Tony seeing him out of bed. He tried to think where the medication cabinet was. He remembered and went to reach for the top cabinet to open it but Tony must have heard him because he walked in and scared Peter. “What are you doing?” 

Peter jumped at the man's sudden appearance and turned around to see Tony standing there with his arms crossed. 

Tony was not surprised to see Peter awake but he was surprised to see Peter digging in the medicine cabinet where there were dangerous and strong pills. 

“I’m gonna ask you again, what are you doing?” Tony asked firmly. He really hope Peter wasn’t in here to be doing what Tony feared he might be doing which was taking random pills to overdose. 

Peter looked shocked. He wasn’t naming eye contact with Tony because he was too scared to. 

“I-I um, I have a headache so-so I was looking for um, Advil” Peter lied. He looked up at Tony for a quick second to make sure that Tony wasn’t too mad but he looked mad. 

“You have to ask me if you want to go in this cabinet, Peter.” Tony moved to grab the Advil some the cabinet and handed Peter two pills. He then got him a glass of water and waited for Peter to swallow them before speaking again. “You scared me, Pete, so I don’t want to see you in this cabinet again” 

“I’m-I’m sorry” Peter didn’t mean to scare Tony. He just wanted something to help him stay awake. 

“It’s fine. Go back to bed” Tony watched Peter hurry off. He didn’t like what he saw because after the way Peter was acting and the fact that something was clearly wrong with him, Tony was scared for Peter. 

He debated moving the medicine cabinet to a higher shelf but Peter could climb if he wanted to get something out of there so Tony made a mental note to order a lock to put on the handle. 

Peter made his way back to his bedroom feeling defeated. 

He did have a headache before so it wasn’t like it was a complete lie. It just wasn’t the reason why he went in there to begin with. 

Peter turned off all his lights but kept his lamp on so he wasn’t in the complete darkness. He didn’t try to go to bed or try and stay up. Peter decided whatever happens, happens. 

His thoughts immediately started once he had no Tony or anything to distract him. He thought about going to school tomorrow and how that would turn out. 

Peter had no idea if his teacher was gonna hurt him again but he had a huge feeling that he would and that scared Peter to the point where he had to swallow down his dinner so it didn’t make a reappearance. 

He didn’t know if his teacher had decided to touch another kid just because he didn’t show up today and Peter didn’t want himself to be the reason for another student getting sexually assaulted. 

A few tears fell down Peter’s face and soaked his pillow under him. He curled into a ball to try and self comfort but it wasn’t working since he kept slowing falling asleep. 

Now the fear that he was gonna wet the bed had Peter up. He tried to think about what to do to stop it. There wasn’t anyway for him to stop it since it was gonna happen once he shuts his eyes. 

Peter could always blame it on a nightmare and have Tony help him change and clean up but he didn’t want the man to know at all. Peter grabbed his phone and set an alarm to go off every thirty minutes so he would wake up and go pee so he doesn’t even get the chance to wet himself. 

.  
.  
.

Tony went to bed just past 1:00am. 

He would have stayed up later but he wanted to get some sleep before he took Peter to school tomorrow. 

Tony was trying to fall asleep and stay asleep but he kept getting woken up to an alarm going off every thirty minutes and it was annoying. 

He waited for the alarm to go off for the fourth time before going into Peter’s bedroom where the alarm was coming from. He didn’t bother knocking as he opened the door. 

“Why is there an alarm going off every thirty minutes?” Tony asked annoyed. He was exhausted but he couldn’t get any sleep. 

Peter looked up quickly from his bed at the door. His heart was beating so fast from the scare that he thought his heart was gonna burst out of his chest. 

“Stop! You can’t do that! You scared m-me” Peter put his hands over his face to try and stop himself from crying. He didn’t mean to but he was exhausted and now Tony just scared the shit out of him. 

Tony’s face relaxed once he realized that he scared Peter and possibly made him cry “Pete, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, come on” 

Tony made his way over to Peter and ran his fingers through Peter’s hair to try and calm him. It seemed to work because after a few seconds Peter was leaning in closer to him. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry, but why was your phone alarm going off every thirty minutes, buddy?” 

Peter let out a shaky breath preparing to lie but he was too tired so he just shrugged his shoulders. Tony didn’t push it anymore. 

After a few minutes of Tony holding Peter while he broke down for what felt like the 100th time that day, he made sure Peter was asleep before turning off his alarms, shutting the lamp off and going back to his room. 

Little did Tony know that as soon as Peter left he started having a nightmare and would wake up in the darkness without Tony there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked that:) 
> 
> I was kinda stressed writing it because I wanted to post it for you guys on Halloween so yaayyy!! 
> 
> Poor Peter and things are only gonna get worse for him:()


	12. I want to disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!!! You have no idea how long Ive been trying to get this chapter posted for! Actually you do know because it’s been over two weeks since I last posted. I’m so sorry i just had a really hard time writing this chapter, thank you to my friend Ally who helped me write the end part of this chapter:) 
> 
> WARNINGS: non-consensual touching of a minor, mentions of a panic attack and basically the rest of the warnings are in the tags just to be safe

It has been over an hour since Peter has woken up from a very vivid nightmare about what tomorrow was going to be like at school. 

He woke up in a cold sweat but surprisingly Peter didn’t wet his bed. Probably due to the fact that he barely had any liquids in him from going to the washroom so much and not drinking anything. Also the fact that he was barely asleep long enough to actually wet the bed. 

Peter knew it was unhealthy that he wasn’t drinking anything but he couldn’t risk it, not here at the tower where Tony is. 

It was just past 4:30 in the morning when Peter woke up from his nightmare and it was going on 5:30am now but Peter was still trying to calm down. He knew he was working himself up into a panic attack that he wouldn’t be able to come down from himself but Peter didn’t care. He wasn’t about to wake Tony up again and ask to be held by the man no matter how badly he wanted it. He could be strong for once in his life. 

Even if it was possible for Peter to fall asleep he wouldn’t have let himself sleep again tonight. Thankfully though, he couldn’t fall asleep so he sat up in bed and stared at the wall in front of him. 

The sun started to rise around 6:00am but Peter decided to watch the sun shine against his bedroom wall instead of getting ready for the day. He didn’t move at all. 

Peter knew he had to go to school today. 

He stayed at the tower with Tony all day yesterday but no matter how badly he wanted to do that again today, he knew he couldn’t. 

Even if it wasn’t just because of his teacher and the fear of what’s going to happen after class but Peter didn’t want to risk falling behind in all of his other classes. He couldn’t risk that on top of everything else. 

Peter didn’t realize he had been sitting and staring at his bedroom wall for over two hours until there was a knock on his bedroom door. Peter shook his head to try and bring himself back into reality. 

“Pete?” It was Tony. “Are you up? I’m coming in” 

Peter watched as the bedroom door opened, revealing Tony. He felt a little bit better now that Tony was here but the feeling didn’t last long after he remembered he’d be going to school soon. 

As soon as Tony saw Peter’s face he took a step towards the kid. “Peter? Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” 

Peter lifted his hand up to wipe his cheeks that were in fact wet. He didn’t know he was crying. 

How long was I crying for? 

“I’m-I-“ Peter cut himself off. He looked back at the wall that the sunrise was rising on when he realized that the wall was bright meaning that the sun was fully up now. Meaning Peter had to be at school in less than an hour. 

Tony placed his hand on Peter’s knee and rubbed it gently “Have you been awake awhile?” 

Peter made eye contact with Tony for the first time since he stepped into the room. Peter felt like he wanted to say so much but no words were coming out of his mouth. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” Tony asked slowly. He could clearly see that Peter was not okay right now. “Maybe you should stay home from school again today-“ 

“No!” Peter shook his head, trying to stop more tears from falling that he could actually feel now. “No, I-I have to g-go so I don’t fall b-behind” 

Tony shook his head sadly at Peter. “It’s just one more day, Peter. You won’t fall behind” 

“N-no, I have to go to school today” Peter looked at Tony desperately and he knew he looked sad and pathetic with tears falling down his face and the fact that he hasn’t slept properly in almost a week now. 

“I don’t think you should. I can call the school right now and-“ 

Peter cut Tony off again “No, Please. I-I have to go to school” 

Tony eyed Peter for a few moments before he gave in. “Alright. I’ll drive you but if you need me to come get you then you call me and I’ll come” 

Peter nodded his head but that wasn’t enough confirmation for Tony. “Promise me, Peter” 

“I promise I’ll call you” Peter lied. 

He wanted so badly to stay here with Tony so he can keep him safe from everything going on in his life but that just wasn’t possible. Peter had to go to school and he knew he did. 

Tony stayed in Peter’s room for a few seconds, waiting for Peter to change his mind or say anything else but there was only silence between the two. Tony stood up and left Peter to get ready for the day. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen after you’re done getting ready” 

Peter didn’t say or do anything to show Tony that he heard. He didn’t care anymore. 

After Tony shut his bedroom door, Peter stood up and went into his closet to find some clothes that he would feel safe in going to school. Peter decided on some jeans with a belt and a big baggy sweater that was actually Tony’s. 

At least this way Peter still has a part of the man with him while he was at school. 

Peter got ready in his bathroom, trying his best not to break out and start crying but it was kinda hard. The thing Peter often did when he was sad or mad was cry. He couldn’t help it, he felt a bit of emotions and he started crying. 

It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. 

No matter how unfair life is, Peter still got dressed and met Tony in the kitchen. 

He wanted Tony to comfort him but he didn’t want to ask for the comfort so as soon as Peter saw the man he leaned against his side and tried to put his head in Tony's chest so he could listen to his heart beat. 

Tony felt a warm presence against his side and he knew exactly who that is. 

“Hey, bud. I made you some waffles” Tony placed his arm around Peter’s shoulders and grabbed the kids breakfast with his other arm. “How bout you sit here and eat then I’ll drive you to school” 

Peter let Tony move him into a kitchen chair and place his food and then his apple juice in front of him. Peter wished so badly that his life could be different, where he didn’t have to leave Tony and go to school but he did and that made him sick. 

Tony went on his phone pretending to be busy answering emails while he watched Peter eat. Or at least attempt to eat. 

Peter was cutting his food up into tiny pieces and moving them around on his plate but he wasn’t actually eating anything. Tony was about to say something to Peter but then Peter took his first bite, he chewed for a lot longer than necessary but washed it down with his apple juice. 

The rest of the time it took Peter to eat mostly all his breakfast, Tony continued to watch him. Tony wasn’t gonna tell Peter but he was proud of him for eating his breakfast. 

It was something so little that shouldn’t require Tony to be proud of Peter for but he was because Tony knew something was going on with his kid, he just didn’t know what. 

After breakfast, Peter slowly made his way back to his room and grabbed his backpack then got his shoes and jacket on. 

Tony noticed that Peter stuck really close to him the whole way down to the garage in the elevator. He knew that Peter didn’t really know about this thing called personal space and Tony found it hard to get used to in the beginning when Peter would sit really close to him on the couch when they watched a movie together or when Peter would lean into Tony in the man when he would show Peter new designs, Tony was used to it but this was something different… this was more. 

Peter hand his hand fisted in Tony’s shirt while he clung to his side. Tony wasn’t really sure what was going on but if he had to guess it was because Peter didn’t want to leave his side. 

When they got down to the garage, Peter reluctantly let go on Tony and got into the passenger seat. He leaned his head against the window and let out a sigh. It was early in the morning so it was cold in the car even though it had been in the garage all night long. 

The whole car ride was spent in silence. 

Tony kept glancing over at Peter every so often and every time he did, he noticed that Peter looked closer to tears. 

He wanted to say something to him but everything that he thought of saying was stupid and he knew it wouldn’t make Peter feel any better. 

When Tony pulled up to the front of Peter’s school he parked the car and turned to face the kid. They were about half an hour late so there were no cars to beep the horn at them. 

“Are you sure you want to go today?” Tony asked. He was more than ready to turn this car around and drive back to the tower if that’s what Peter wanted. 

Yes, more than anything. “No, I’ll be f-fine” 

Peter avoided Tony’s eye contact as he looked down at his hands in his lap. He hadn’t looked up at his school yet because he knows if he did then he would go into a panic attack and that was the last thing Peter wanted in this moment. 

Tony knew Peter was lying to him. He knew Peter has been lying to him ever since he picked him up from his apartment yesterday but Tony didn’t know what to do. He was completely lost. 

Peter reached into the back seat to grab his backpack then he turned to Tony and gave him a smile but it didn’t come out that way. “Um, thanks-thanks for d-driving me to s-s-school” 

Tony wanted to pull Peter in for a hug and never let him walk into the school but he didn’t, little did Tony know that he would forever regret not doing that. 

“No problem, kid” Tony watched Peter slowly open the door. “Remember to call me if you want me to pick you up” 

Peter nodded his head but just before he exited the cat, he threw himself into Tony’s arms and wrapped his much smaller arms around the man's neck. Peter relaxed when he felt Tony wrap his strong arms around his small frame, making Peter feel safe and protected. 

He tried to remember feeling like this at this moment because Peter doesn’t know when he’ll see Tony again or when he’ll feel safe and content like this again. 

After Peter pulled himself off of Tony he quickly opened the car door and left with his backpack so he didn’t have to deal with crying again in front of Tony. Plus if he didn’t leave the car when he did he knew he never would. 

Tony watched Peter run up the steps into his school. He watched him until he could no longer see him then he drove away with this odd feeling in his chest that he couldn’t explain. 

Peter stopped running as soon as he entered his school. 

He immediately felt sick to his stomach but he didn’t turn around to leave. He knew he had to stay at school today no matter how badly he wanted to call Tony and tell him to come back to come pick him up. 

Peter pulled out his phone and saw that second period was gonna be starting in thirty minutes but he didn’t want to go to his first period class and sit there for thirty minutes. Mainly because he didn’t want to get yelled at my his teacher for missing a day and showing up late the next day but also because he felt a panic attack coming on so Peter quickly made his way to the bathroom. 

When he got to the bathroom, Peter checked to make sure that no one was in any of the stalls before going into one himself and locking it. As soon as he was inside the bathroom stall where no one could see him, he let himself break down. 

Peter couldn’t stop thinking about his teacher and that he’s in the same building as him. His teacher could walk around the corner at any point in time and start touching him or making Peter touch his private spots and the thought made Peter sick to his stomach. 

Before Peter knew what was happening, he was leaning over the table and throwing up his breakfast. The worst thing about this whole situation was how sad and pathetic Peter is. He wanted to punch himself in the face for what was happening to him right now. 

He was throwing up the only food in his stomach just because he was too pathetic to call Tony himself and ask the man to come back and pick him up. Life isn’t fair and Peter knew he was making it harder on himself but he still couldn’t bring himself to ask for help because he was scared. 

He was scared his teacher was going to follow through with his word and hurt or even kill Aunt May. Peter was also scared that if he told Tony then Tony wouldn’t see him as a hero but rather a little child who couldn’t even stand up for himself and let his teacher touch him and take advantage of him. Peter knew he was just that but he didn’t want Tony to know. 

After Peter gathered himself enough to look at himself in the mirror and not want to immediately look away, he wiped his already red eyes one last time, pulled his backpack tighter on his shoulders and left the bathroom. 

Peter walked on shaky legs towards his locker before his second period class started. He felt sick to his stomach and he wanted Tony more than anything it was actually painful. Being away from Tony right now was the worst thing ever, Peter wasn’t sure how to deal with it. 

He knew that logically he could pick up his phone and call the man but he stopped himself from doing that out of fear. His teachers threat still lingers in his mind and now thinking that he’s going to see his teacher soon and the fact that he’s in the same building at him makes him sick. 

Peter gets to his locker and swallows down the spit that is building up in his mouth. The school bell rings and it has Peter jumping so high up in the air it actually hurts his feet when he lands on the ground. He has to put his hand on his heart and shut his eyes to try and calm himself down from going into a full blown panic attack. 

Now he really needs Tony here to calm him down so he doesn’t have a panic attack. 

After a few moments, Peter thinks about Tony and being safe in the tower instead of where he currently is, he calms down enough and is able to open his eyes and finish up at his locker to make his way to his second period class. 

Peter doesn’t remember what happened in the second period. He sat at his desk and didn’t even pull out his books. He was too busy missing Tony it was actually painful and thinking about his teacher. Before Peter knows it, the bell rings for lunch and Peter walks like a zombie into the bathroom so he can lock himself in a stall and be alone. 

Third period comes and goes as fast as second period did, Peter considers skipping it but he decides against it in fear that he’ll get in trouble the next time he goes to class. The only difference between second and third period is that there’s no stall bathroom waiting for him after the bell rings, now it’s his teacher that molested him. 

Peter makes his way to his fourth period class on pure muscle memory. He gets to the door and instantly feels sick to his stomach. Peter sees Mr. Ellis sitting at his desk and spinning a pen in his hand as he watches the students all sit down. 

Peter paused in the doorway debating if he should make a run for it but then as if in slow motion, Mr. Ellis turns his head towards the door and as soon as his eyes land on Peter, his mouth turns into an evil smile that has Peter feeling even sicker to his stomach. 

Mr. Ellis clears his throat just as the bell rings. He walks over to Peter but Peter is stepping into the classroom and sitting in his seat before his teacher can touch him or say anything to him. 

Peter doesn’t bother to look up at him but he knows that Mr. Ellis is burning a hole through his head from the way he’s looking at him. 

His teacher starts giving the lesson but Peter is laying no attention. He tried to but his mind won’t let him focus on what his teacher is saying because every time he looks up at his teacher, he’s already looking at him and Peter just wants Tony more than anything right now. 

Peter doesn’t know how much time has past but his bladder is killing him which is causing his stomach to hurt although Peter’s unsure if that’s due to the pressure in his lower adamant or the fact that his molester is in this room with him. 

He looks up and sees Mr. Ellis walking towards him with a smile on his face. When he reaches Peter, he kneels down so he’s at Peter’s height in his chair. 

Peter doesn’t wait for him to start talking because he needs to go. “Can I g-go to the bathroom, please?” 

Mr. Ellis hums and leans closer to Peter so no one else can hear. “Hmm, I like when you say please”

Peter glances up at him and tries to silently beg his teacher to let him go but it’s no use. 

“Where were you yesterday, Peter? You missed an important lesson” Peter looks away as he asks the question. He knows his teacher has complete control over him no matter what. 

“Um, I-I wasn’t feeling good…” Peter grips his desk in hopes to stop his hands from shaking. The fear is taking over his body just like it did with Skip and he feels his underwear wetten under him. Peter closes his legs a bit more to stop the pee from coming out of him but he can’t help it. 

Mr. Ellis is right next to him and Tony isn’t there to keep him safe this time. Peter doesn’t need to look between his legs to see that he had just wet his pants. 

Thankfully, his underwear and pants soaked it up so it didn’t drip onto the floor and it didn’t look like Mr. Ellis even noticed what had just happened. He stands up and walks back to his desk where he watches Peter until class is over. 

Peter sits in his wet pants not able to stand up until everyone in the class is gone. Even after everyone is gone and his teacher shuts and locks the door, Peter stays seated. 

He feels cold, itchy and disgusting now and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

Mr. Ellis makes his way over to Peter but instead of kneeling down next to him like before he sits on the desk in front of Peter. 

“Stand up and come to the front with me” He demands. Peter stays silent. “Unless you want to do it here then that’s totally okay with me too” 

Peter stays silent again because he doesn’t know what to do. 

His teacher was clearly annoyed with him so he slams his hand down on Peter’s desk causing Peter to jump in his seat and let out a broken sob. “Get up! Don’t make me ask you again” 

“I c-can’t” Peter whimpers out. 

Mr. Ellis looks at him confused for a few seconds. “What do you mean you can’t?” 

“I-I wet my pants” Peter feels pathetic saying it. He knows he’s pathetic. 

His teacher doesn’t say anything for a few seconds as if he’s thinking about what to say but then he lets out of laugh. “You wet your pants? As in you pissed yourself?” 

Peter flinches at the words. He feels even more pathetic now and he wishes so badly Tony was here right now to help him and make him feel better but he’s not here and his teacher is. Before Peter even realizes it, he’s nodding his head at his teachers words and a few tears slip out of his eyes. 

“Stand up. Let me see” Mr. Ellis says like he’s amused at the fact that Peter wet his pants and it makes Peter want to vomit. He goes to shake his head but his teacher grabs his arm and yanks him so hard to his feet that Peter loses his balance and places his hands on his teacher’s arms for support. “How did you manage to do that” 

Peter knows his teacher is making fun of him and he can’t form any words to speak. He covers his face with his hand to try and pretend like he’s not actually here right now but it doesn’t work. 

His teachers drags him by the arm over to his desk while Peter doesn’t put up a fight. He doesn’t know why he should, he’s too pathetic to. 

“No” Peter sobs out. He doesn’t know what he’s saying no to but he says it anyways as his teacher ignores him and looks for something in his desk drawer. Peter watches through blurry eyes as his teacher pulls out a bottle of that slimy stuff then turns to face Peter again. 

He makes a move to take off Peter’s pants that has Peter flinching and backing away but there’s a tight pressure on his wrist before he can get very far. Mr. Ellis drags Peter closer to him then starts undoing Peter’s jeans while Peter just watches and cries. He notices how his teacher tries to avoid the wet patches altogether then eventually he gets his pants down and tugs them down to Peter’s ankles. 

He then moves to tug down Peter’s underwear but Peter grabs his hand and whimpers, “Don’t touch me unless I say to!” 

Peter flinches again but let’s go. The only thing he can do is watch and cry as his underwear gets pulled down to his ankles, leaving him standing there. 

“You know I’m very disappointed in you, Peter” His teachers begins “First you don’t come to school and then you pee your pants leaving me unable to do what I had planned. Now I could take you to the gym showers and make you wash off but that might be a little suspicious if anyone sees” 

Peter ignores half of what his teacher tells him. He tries to look anywhere but at his naked half and his teacher but his attention is grabbed once Mr. Ellis is grabbing his wrist and making him touch himself. 

“I’m not going to touch you since you’re covered in pee but I’ll watch you touch yourself,” Mr. Ellis held Peter’s hand in his as he made Peter touch himself but when he let go, Peter’s hand fell to his side. “Haven’t you ever touched yourself before, Peter?” 

Peter shook his head and cried into his hands. He never did that. He did once when he was fourteen after some boys in the change room were talking about how good it felt and Peter went home to try but he didn’t like the feeling plus he was too scared to see what would happen next so he stopped and never cared to do it again. Now he was being forced to do it and it was making him feel sick. 

“Sweet little thing, aren’t you? So pure and innocent. So perfect and all mine” Peter wanted to throw up at his teachers words but before he could, his teacher was undoing his own belt and pants buckles. Peter watched as he pulled his own penis out and began rubbing his already hard penis. 

Peter tried to look away but he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he was turned on or that he liked the sight of his teachers penis because he did not. Not at all. It was that he felt paralyzed with fear. The same thing with Skip was happening all over again. 

“Come sit on my lap and touch me” Mr. Ellis demanded. Peter listened to what he was told and slowly made it the few steps over to his teacher before there were hands grabbing him and positioning him so that he was on teacher’s knee. 

Peter looked down at how he was sitting and felt sick so he looked up. His teacher guided Peter’s hand so that he was touching his teachers penis. The sensation on Peter’s hand made him sick once again so he tried his best to look away. 

Everything was too much at once so Peter went to move his hand away but his teacher held his hand tighter and made him continue the motion. Peter didn’t know what to do but his body felt weak and without even realizing what he was doing he was leaning his back against his teachers broad chest. 

His teacher only switched his arm position so that it was across Peters chest instead of behind his back. Peter shut his eyes and let the tears fall down his face as he let his teacher guide his hand. Peter didn’t even realize that he grabbed onto his teachers arm that was over his chest with his other hand. The action caused him to open his eyes but then his teacher squeezed him across the chest really hard. 

“Urg! Peter, Peter! I’m gonna come! I’m gonna come! Look at what you made me do, you’re so perfect” Mr. Ellis practically screamed in Peter’s ear. Peter opened his eyes and looked at what his hand was being forced to do. 

Peter watched the cum shoot out of his teachers penis and go onto the desk in front of them. Peter had never seen anything like that before so he tried to get off his teachers lap but Mr. Ellis held him tight. 

He let go of Peter’s hand so Peter used his now free hand to try and get off his teacher lap but then Mr. Ellis was moving his hand that was covered in his cum up to Peter’s face. “Look at this, baby boy. You did this to me” 

Peter whimpered and moved away and thankfully his teacher let go on him so Peter got off his lap and stood there. He was sure if he was allowed to pull his pants up yet so he decided to stand there. 

“That felt so good, Peter. So good” Mr. Ellis tucked himself away and used a cloth to wipe the mess off the desk and his hand. He then looked at Peter up and down, smirking “You can put your pants on now and leave” 

Peter wasted no time in pulling up his underwear and pants. After everything that happened, he forgot about his wet pants that were now cold and even more uncomfortable but at least he was covered up. 

He walked on shaky legs over to his desk to grab his stuff and then he walked to the classroom door but it was still locked. Peter looked over at his teacher with fear on his face. “Can-can you unlock the door?” 

Mr. Ellis slowly walked over to the door and pulled his keys out of his pocket, unlocking it. He held the doorknob so Peter couldn’t leave. “I expect you to show up tomorrow” 

Peter nodded his head “Y-yes. I-I’ll show u-up” 

Happy with his answer, Mr. Ellis opened the door and let Peter leave. 

Peter walked as quickly as he could to the front doors of the school so he could leave. He realized that his phone was in his pocket of his jeans the whole time but he was too pathetic and scared to take it out and call Tony. 

He wondered if his teacher knew he wouldn’t be calling for help on his phone and that’s why he didn’t take it off of him. 

Peter made it outside with just enough time to lean over and throw up in the bushes outside his school. Nothing was coming up asides from bile because there was nothing in his stomach anymore. 

Peter felt empty. He felt used and empty and he wanted Tony now more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter! Again, I’m sorry it took me so long to post. I’m hoping to post again next Friday but I can’t promise anything just because I’m currently writing a new fic that I loveeee so much so I’m putting all my time into that right now but I will not leave you guys for long. Either next Friday or the next for sure:)


	13. Everything that once was, is no longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii guys!! I’m so excited to post this chapter ahh! I just wanted to say THANK YOUUU soooo much to my friend Ally!! She helped me, well she actually wrote a whole part of this chapter for me soo thank you much Ally:) 
> 
> WARNINGS: this chapter is very VERY dark so I want everyone to go read the tags before you continue on with this chapter just to be safe so let’s all go take a minute to go do that. 
> 
> Now we can go read, I hope you like it:)

Peter sat down on the cold concrete outside his school. He wasn’t even paying attention to how cold and uncomfortable it felt on his already wet pants. 

The concrete only made everything worse but Peter could care less about that at this point. He wanted to feel something but he couldn’t feel anything. It was as if he was paralyzed from his shoulders all the way to his feet. No matter how much Peter tried to move he couldn’t. 

Peter tried to lean his body up against the concrete wall of his school steps so he was at least a tiny bit hidden from everything. From his teacher if he walks out this way. 

Peter felt tears roll down his rosy cheeks and then watched them fall onto his already soaked jeans, not even making a mark. He let out a sob and tried his best to lift his knees up to his chest so he could wrap his arms around himself to try and self comfort. 

Peter stayed that way for a few minutes, he didn’t know how long but then he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket so he reached into his butt pocket, flinching at the wetness, pulling out his phone. 

He saw that it was Tony calling. Peter immediately sighed with relief, he wanted Tony right now but part of him couldn’t have the man come here and see him like this unless he wanted him to find out which could never ever happen. 

Peter couldn’t help himself, he hit the answer button and pulled his phone up to his ear holding onto it like a lifeline. 

“H-hello?” 

“Hey, Pete” Tony said into the phone. Peter shut his eyes and tried to relax just by the sound of Tony’s voice “I’ve been texting you all day but you haven’t responded to me, I just assumed you were busy in class but what’d you say I come pick you up now?” 

Peter found himself nodding his head but he then remembered that Tony couldn’t see him. He wanted to say no. He wanted to be strong and say no because he knows he doesn’t deserve Tony’s fatherly love and affection but since when was he ever strong. If he was strong Peter wouldn’t have let his teacher molest him like this. 

He knows that if Tony ever found out what his teacher was doing to him then Tony would never want to see him again and take the suit away from him. Not that Peter even goes out in the suit anyways anymore. 

“Um, y-yeah. You can come” Peter said with his eyes still closed. 

“Alright, I assume you’re at home now so I’ll just come get you there” Tony started to say. Peter could hear that the man was already in his car if he listened closely. 

“No. I’m um, I h-had to stay behind at um, s-school so I’m still here” Peter stuttered out. He opened his eyes for the first time since Tony called and looked towards the parking lot. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes just in case he needed to hide from his teacher if he saw him. 

“Oh perfect! I’m closer to your school anyways, I’ll be there in five minutes” Tony said with too much excitement for Peter’s liking. “See you soon, kiddo” 

After Tony hung up the phone, Peter looked down at his lap and suddenly remembered his accident. He had no idea how he was supposed to hide it. There was actually no way for him to hide it so now Peter has less than five minutes to think of an excuse as to why his pants are wet. 

Tony pulled up in his red Audi five minutes later just like he said. Peter wasn’t sure if Tony saw him sitting in the corner when he pulled up so Peter tried to secretly get up without Tony seeing where he was sitting but that was no use because as soon as he made some movement, Tony was zipping down the passenger window and pulling down his sunglasses just a bit to look at Peter. 

Peter held his backpack in front of the wet patch as he walked slowly over to Tony’s car. “Why were you in the bushes, kid? Berry picking?” 

Peter faked a smile as he opened the door and threw himself into the passenger seat. “N-no, I um, was just waiting for you there” 

Tony eyed his kid. Peter has always been weird but this was some next level weird. “Were the steps not comfy enough for you?” 

Tony couldn’t help but tease Peter. He wasn’t trying to make him feel bad for sitting in the bushes but he was trying to make light of the situation to get Peter to laugh because he clearly wasn’t happy right now. 

“No, I just um, I just did” Peter held his backpack tighter on his lap even as Tony pulled away from the school and onto the road. 

Tony eyed Peter as they got to a red light, if it was anyone else he would let them sit there like that without a seatbelt on but this is Peter. This is his kid and he didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. 

Tony went to reach over to grab the backpack from Peter but was not expecting the kids reaction “What! No! No, don’t!” 

As soon as Peter realized what he did, he smiled weakly at Tony. “I’m-I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Tony” 

“Hey, calm down. It’s okay, Pete” Tony has no idea what made Peter react that way so he tried to gently calm him down. “I just need you to put your seatbelt on and put your backpack in the back seat” 

The light turned green so Tony had to put his attention back onto the road. He watched Peter out of the corner of his eye, he could see Peter debating if he should put his seatbelt on or not but then decided to do it. Tony continued to watch him as he slowly put his backpack in the back seat and put his hands between his legs. 

He decided not to say anything to the kid and just drive in silence for now because it didn’t seem like Peter really wanted to talk right now. Tony looked over at Peter at the next red light and saw that his pants were...wet. Why was the kids pants wet? 

“What happened here, Pete?” Tony asked him. The light was still red so he continued to eye his kid. At first Tony thought that Peter sat in a puddle or something when he was sitting in the bushes but it was on the front of his pants. 

Peter looked up at Tony quickly to see where the man was pointing. Once he saw that he was pointing to his accident Peter tensed. “Oh um, it’s n-nothing. I just spilled um, water” 

Tony knew Peter was lying. He could always tell when the kid lied because he was a horrible liar. “Nice try. Try again” 

“I-I did! It, I spilled water” Peter tried to keep his voice steady but it wasn’t really working. He knew he should just come clean and tell Tony but he didn’t want Tony to think he is a baby and kick him out of the car. 

Tony was gonna let it go because clearly Peter was uncomfortable but then he smelled something weird. He smelt… urine. Poor kid. 

“Peter, did you…” Tony had no idea how to ask the kid this question. “Did you... pee your pants?” 

Peter looked over at Tony and Tony could see the tears start to form in the kids eyes. It broke his heart to see but then the light turned green and Tony had to put his attention back on the road. 

“What?! No! No, I didn’t! I didn’t!” Peter shook his head, he tried to stop the tears from coming from his eyes but he found that kinda hard since Tony had just found out that he wet his pants. “I d-didn’t” 

“Peter, it’s okay if you had… an accident. It happens, you know” Tony tried to say gently. At this point he knew that Peter had wet his pants but now he needed Peter to understand that he wasn’t mad at him or didn’t think of him any less. 

Peter shook his head again, “No, it's not okay, Tony! I peed my pants because-because I couldn’t hold it anymore!” 

Tony wanted to comfort his kid. He wanted to hold him close and tell him it was all going to be okay but he found that kinda hard to do while he was driving so he had to wait until they got to the tower. 

“Peter,” Tony spoke gently “it’s okay. I’m not mad at you, buddy. Just calm down” 

Peter tried to catch his breath. He tried to focus on Tony and his heartbeat but that was kinda hard to hear over his own heartbeat beating loudly in his chest. 

Tony took a chance and placed his hand on Peter’s leg. He felt the cold wetness but kept his hand there anyways. He felt bad for Peter and how uncomfortable he must be but he was happy when Peter didn’t flinch or move away from him. He actually leaned in closer to him. 

“You’re okay, Peter. Just breathe and we’ll be at the tower soon, okay?” Tony spoke gently. He kept his hand on Peter’s leg to reassure him that he was okay as he continued driving and got a small nod from his kid. 

By the time they arrived at the tower, Peter’s cries had died down just a bit and he was leaning his head on the car seat so that he was facing Tony. 

“We’re here, buddy. As soon as we get up you go shower and put on some comfy clothes then we’ll watch a movie together, okay?” Tony got out of the car and waited for Peter to slowly make his way out. Tony could tell how uncomfortable and itchy Peter was from sitting in his wet pants for so long. He wanted to hug him but he wasn’t sure that’s what Peter wanted. 

They got into the elevator and Peter couldn’t help himself. He leaned against Tony’s side and felt a weight get lifted off his shoulders now that he was with the man. Tony put his arm around Peter and pushed his face into his chest but Peter didn’t wrap his arms around him which Tony thought was odd but he didn’t question it. 

When they got to Tony’s private floor, Peter wasted no time in going into his bedroom and shutting the door. He felt sick but he was confused because he also felt safe now that he was with Tony but he knew he wasn’t safe with his teacher around. He knew he wasn’t safe if his teacher could get to him. 

Peter wasn’t sure how long he was in the shower for. He put the water as hot as it could go to try and feel something other than his teachers touches on his body. 

When he got out of the shower, Peter avoided looking in the mirror as he dried off and put on his Iron Man underwear. He smiled at it because Tony bought them for him after he got a room at the tower. Peter remembers how excited Tony had been to have found Iron Man underwear’s in Peter’s size, he gave them to Peter as a joke but Peter still wore them. 

Peter then put on his pyjama pants and a baggy sweater that was Tony’s at some point but Peter stole it from the man. 

He wanted to sit with Tony and try to forget everything for just a few hours. Peter quickly made his way into the living room where he found Tony sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. 

Peter couldn’t help but smile genuinely as he made his way over to Tony.

“Hey, bud. I figured you could-oh okay then” Tony was cut off by Peter moving the popcorn bowl and cuddling into his side, practically sitting in Tony’s lap. “Comfy now?” 

Peter only nodded and let out a sigh of relief. He was finally with Tony. 

They stayed silent for a few moments. Tony was content to just hold Peter in his arms and Peter was content to let Tony hold him although he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened today and what Tony had witnessed. 

“Are you gonna tell May?” Peter asked in a whisper. Tony could barely hear him. 

Tony thought about what to say. He wished he didn’t have to tell the kids Aunt but it was something that she had to know. She had the right to know that her nephew had wet his pants at school. Tony still didn’t think any less of Peter but he also knew that kids his age weren’t wetting their pants so as much as Tony didn’t want to, he had to tell May. 

“I have to, Pete” Tony said. He ran his fingers through Peter’s hair to calm him down but Peter wasn’t having it. He sat up a bit so he could look at Tony in the eyes. 

“No, no don’t tell her. Please. She doesn’t need to know” Peter begged. He didn’t want May to know about this. She already worried so much about him. 

Tony sighed “Peter, buddy. She’s your Aunt and she deserves to know” 

“But she already worries about me so much and-and I don’t want her to worry about me anymore” Peter begged again. He did not want May knowing about this at all. 

“Peter, I-” Tony was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. He felt Peter tense on him but then he relaxed a bit after Tony put a hand on his back to try and comfort him a bit. “May’s calling me” 

“Don’t tell her” Peter warned. He tried using his puppy dog eyes on Tony so he wouldn’t tell her but Tony wasn’t even looking at him. 

“Hey, May” Tony greeted. Peter listened into the other side of the conversation. 

“Is Peter with you? He was supposed to be home from school an hour ago and he’s not answering his phone” May asked in a panic. Peter immediately felt himself start to panic because he totally forgot about letting May know where he was going. 

“Yeah, he’s right here. Sorry about that, May. It’s my fault-“ Tony said but May cut him off. 

“Oh thank god. Put him on the phone” May demanded so Tony put the phone to Peter’s ear. 

“May, I’m s-sorry! I forgot to tell you. Please don’t be mad” Peter felt himself come close to tears again so he tried to stop them. 

“Peter, you can’t do this. You can’t do this, Peter. You have to tell me where you’re going even if you’re with Tony. You know this, Petey” May sounded like she was trying to keep herself from yelling and that scared Peter even more. 

“I know. I’m sorry, Aunt May” Peter tried to say. He hated how disappointed May sounded right now. 

Tony could see that Peter was close to tears so he rubbed his back to try and calm him so he didn’t work himself into a panic attack. Tony couldn’t hear the other side of the phone call but he knew May was mad. 

“I want you to be home in an hour, do you understand me?” May said firmly leaving no room for arguing but Peter challenged her anyways. 

“What?! No! No, I want to stay here! I’m not g-going home, I’m staying with Tony” Peter felt tears burn his eyes again but he didn’t try to stop them this time. He didn’t want to leave Tony again and if he had to then he would never forgive May. 

“Peter, now! I don’t-“ May was cut off by Peter. 

“No! I’m staying here” Peter screamed into the phone then threw the phone onto the floor and threw himself into Tony’s arms. 

Tony had no idea what had just happened but he tried to comfort Peter anyways. He rubbed his back gently for a few minutes to let him calm down a bit then he lifted his head up to look at him. 

“Peter, look at me. It’s okay, bud. I’ll take you home and I’ll see you this weekend. You can’t talk to your Aunt that way” Tony wanted to keep Peter here with him but he knew that he couldn’t do that and that Peter had to go back with his Aunt. 

“N-no, I wan’ stay with you. Please” Peter begged. He leaned his head on Tony’s shoulder and tried to wrap his arms around the man. 

Peter still loved May but Tony was different. Maybe it was because he was a male or maybe it was because he was just bigger in general and he could hold Peter. May tried and even though Peter was still a few inches shorter than her but even when she held him on the couch, he always felt like he was holding her. With Tony it was different, he was much bigger with at least a whole foot taller in height and he had a much bigger and muscular body than Peter did so when Tony held him, he held him. Peter felt safe and content in Tony’s arms like nothing could hurt him and Peter loves that feeling. 

Tony rubbed Peter’s back, oblivious to the internal struggle Peter was having. “It’s okay, bud. I’ll see you tomorrow but you have to go home to your Aunt now” 

Peter let out a sob but nodded his head. He could tell that Tony didn’t want him and he didn’t want Tony to be stuck with him so he’ll go home. 

The drive to Peter’s apartment was mostly silent. Peter tried to stop crying but he found it hard to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks then eventually he stopped caring and leaned his head against the window. 

The drive went by fast just because the last thing Peter wanted to do was get out of the car and leave Tony. That’s why when they pulled up to the apartment, Peter looked down at his lap to ask Tony something. 

“Can-can you c-come up with me?” Peter asked quietly. Tony smiled despite the situation because he wanted to give Peter all the comfort he could plus he didn’t want to leave his kid either. 

“Yeah, bud. I’ll come up with you” They then got out of the car and made their way up to the Parkers apartment. Tony had texted May that he was bringing Peter back home so when the door opened before either of them knocked, Tony knew that May was mad. 

“Peter. Tony” May greeted then stepped aside to let the two males into the apartment. Peter stayed close to Tony’s side as if he was scared May was going to hit him. That broke Tony’s heart but then got him thinking. 

Peter’s been acting weird recently and seems to be clinging onto him and refuses to come home so maybe… no, he knows May would never hurt Peter. 

“Peter, you know you can’t be doing this. You can’t disappear and not tell me where you’re going, do you understand me?” May said firmly. Peter leaned closer to Tony and nodded his head. 

“Y-yes. I’m s-sorry” Peter was looking down at his feet since he was too scared to look any of the adults in the eyes. 

“Good. Now go shower and go to bed” May told him. 

Peter looked up at her for the first time since coming home. “I already showered at Tony’s. And it’s only nine” 

May eyed Peter causing him to shrink in on himself. “Good. Now you can sleep for longer, go on” 

“May, it’s not his fault” Tony cut in “I asked him if I could pick him up after school” 

“I’m not talking to you yet,” May told Tony. He didn’t want to get on her bad side because she was the one who could take Peter away from him so he shut up. 

“Peter, say bye to Tony then go to bed” May warned for the last time. Peter clung onto Tony tighter. 

“It’s fine, Pete. I’ll see you tomorrow” Tony said gently. He hugged Peter the best he could from his angle then watched Peter run towards his bedroom and slammed his door. 

May sighed as soon as Peter was in his room. She put her head in her hands, Tony didn’t really know what to do. “Um, May, it’s really my fault so please just don’t go too hard on him” 

May sighed again. “No it’s not your fault. Well, it is a bit but he’s just been so...weird. Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed as well” 

Tony nodded. “No, I know. I know he hasn’t been himself and I don’t know what it is. He’s just going through something, I don’t know” 

Tony had no idea. He wished he did so he could help Peter but he tried and his kid still wouldn’t open up to him. Tony debates telling May about Peter wetting his pants at school today but he decided against that just because Peter didn’t want him to. He’ll tell May another day. 

“I know. It might have something to do with him missing Ben. I don’t know” May shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted. 

Tony didn’t even think about that. It probably had something to do with Ben, maybe Peter missed him a lot right now. That only made Tony want to help his kid more. 

“Can I take him for the weekend? It’ll just be us all weekend so that way I can spend time with him and try and figure out what’s wrong” Tony asked. He hoped so badly that May agreed because he wanted to be with his kid. It was already killing him that he couldn’t be with Peter right now. 

May sighed but nodded her head. “Alright. You can pick him up tomorrow evening because I’m off work tomorrow so I want to spend time with him before you take him for the weekend” 

Tony nodded. “Thanks, May. I’m just gonna go say bye to him before I go” 

Tony then walked past May and into Peter’s bedroom. He found his kid on his bed, not even under the blankets. 

Peter smiled weakly at him as he walked in. “Hey, bud. I’m gonna go now but I just wanted to say goodnight to you first” 

Peter shook his head. He didn’t want Tony to leave. “Don’t go. Stay.” 

“Oh bud, I have to but I’ll see you tomorrow” Tony promised. He would be counting down the hours until he got to see his kid again. He pressed a kiss to Peter’s forehead and helped him get under the blankets before standing up and turning around, seeing May at the doorway watching the two. 

He noticed that she had a sad smile one her face as he passed by. “Night, May” 

May watched Tony leave the apartment then looked back at Peter who had his back turned away from her so she quietly closed the door and went to her bedroom to go to sleep herself. 

.  
.  
.

Peter woke up with a wet bed. 

He was so used to it at this point that he didn’t even care that much anymore. He debated sleeping in the bed but he didn’t want to wake up with a rash so he got out of bed. 

Peter grabbed all his sheets and tried to be quiet as he walked to the laundry room but apparently he wasn’t quiet enough because May was walking out of her bedroom. She took in the scene and sighed sadly. 

“Oh Peter. It’s okay, I’ll change your sheets while you go wash off” May was used to this whole thing at this point. She knew how to do things quickly now which was a little bit sad that she had so much practice with this. 

Peter didn’t even cry which May thought was strange. He walked back into his bedroom and she could see him changing out of his pyjama pants and tossing them to a corner. She looked away sadly with a broken heart. 

Peter was really going through a hard time and she wanted to help him but she felt lost. She had no idea how to help her baby. 

May then went to lay a towel on Peter’s bed to soak up the wetness so he didn’t have to sleep on a wet bed the rest of the night. Little did May know that Peter wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep tonight. 

.  
.  
.

Peter felt dead inside. 

May told him to get ready for school but he doesn’t even remember how he got ready or got to school. 

First he was sitting up in his bed and then suddenly he was at school again. 

The day past by the same way. Peter knew he was falling behind in all of his classes but he couldn’t seem to care about that. He didn’t care about anything anymore. 

First period went by, then second and third and now Peter was making his way to his fourth period class. 

Mr. Ellis smiled sickly at Peter as he walked into class. Peter tried his best to look away but his eyes stayed glued onto his teacher in fear. 

His fourth period class passed by in a blur for Peter too. The whole day just felt like one giant blur of a nightmare that you knew was bad and scary but you could only remember bits and pieces of it. 

The bell rang and Peter flinched because he knew what was about to happen. As always, Peter stayed frozen in his seat until all the students were out the door happy because it is the weekend while Peter was stuck in class. 

Mr. Ellis locked the classroom door and made his way over to Peter. 

“I’m happy to see you, Peter. I thought we’d try something a little different today” The way Mr. Ellis spoke sent shivers down Peter’s spine. His teacher grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the front of the class where the desk was. 

Mr. Ellis sat down on his chair and leaned back, smiling at Peter. Peter stood there as stiff as a board, feeling sick. 

“You know, Peter” His teacher began as he started clearing his desk “ever since I first laid my eyes on you I knew that you’d be a fun time. So young and innocent. So perfect and all mine” 

Peter swallowed. He shut his eyes because he was too scared to look at anything. He wanted Tony. 

Mr. Ellis continued “I always pictured us having fun together and doing things but I think it’s time that we have a little bit more fun, don’t you think?” 

Peter didn’t make a move. He didn’t want to open his eyes or talk or anything. He heard some more movement going on but Peter still kept his eyes shut. 

“Come over here and take off your pants for me. All the way” Mr. Ellis demanded. Peter didn’t understand how he could make that statement so calmly. When Peter didn’t make a move, his teacher got angry. “Now!” 

Peter flinched and let out a whimper, he wanted Tony. 

When Peter opened his eyes he saw his teacher staring at him with pure lust and anger in his eyes that it was the most scariest thing Peter has ever seen. He looked like he had pure evil inside of him. Peter then slowly started undoing his jean buckles but it apparently wasn’t fast enough for his teachers liking so he tugged Peter by the arm closer to himself and started undoing Peter’s pants himself. 

He tugged Peter’s pants down to his ankles aggressively then did the same to his underwear leaving Peter naked from the waist down. 

“Step out of these” His teacher said, leaving no room for argument so Peter stepped out of his jeans and underwear, letting out a sob as he stood there half naked. “Get on my desk and lie down on your back” 

Peter wasn’t sure what was happening but the whole situation was scaring him and he wanted Tony. 

“N-no” Peter said brokenly. He tried to turn around and run away but he didn’t even get the chance because he was being grabbed by the waist and lifted up on the desk. His teacher sat Peter in the desk and spread his legs so that he was standing between his legs. He pushed Peter’s chest down so that he was lying on his back with his teacher between his legs. 

Peter was scared and confused and he didn’t know what was happening. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and looked up at his teacher as he used the bottle from before to rub onto his hands. He then rubbed some onto Peter’s entry which caused him to flinch and let out a sob. 

He tried to move away but his teacher held his legs firmly. Peter felt his cheeks burn and tears run down them. 

“Stop moving or I swear to god I’ll make it hurt” Mr. Ellis spat out. Peter stopped moving but he continued to shake and cry. 

His teacher continued to rub stuff over his entry and then used his other hand to take off his own pants and stroke his own penis. Peter looked away in fear. 

Peter continued to look away from what was happening on top of him but his attention was pulled back onto his teacher as soon as he felt something being pushed into his tight hole and it hurt. 

Peter let out a whimper and squirmed. He looked between his legs and saw that his teacher had pushed his finger inside him. “N-no, stop. I don’ like it” 

Peter tried to get him to stop but it was no use. Another finger was pushed inside him and it burned. He was terrified of what was about to happen next. He bit down hard on his teeth and shut his eyes tight. 

The fingers are pulled out of him but Peter barely has time to register what’s about to happen next because before he knows it, Mr. Ellis is pushing himself into Peter’s virgin body and moaning. It’s just the tip but it already hurts so much that Peter doesn’t think he can even handle the whole thing inside him. 

Peter doesn’t recognize the sound that he makes. He’s in so much pain that he can’t even form any words. He’s being stretched in a way that his body shouldn’t even be able to stretch. 

Peter tried to kick out and to move away but that only causes more pain to shoot through his body and for Mr. Ellis to moan louder between his legs. 

“N-no, s-s-stop. It-it hurts, please. Please take it out, I can’t” Peter cries out. He knows his voice goes unheard as his teacher takes his last bit of innocence as he pushes in and out of him. 

“Stop moving, Peter and relax or it’ll only hurt you more” Mr. Ellis moans out. 

Peter tried to use his hand to reach down and push his teacher away from him so the pain can stop because it’s too much. When Peter goes to reach down between his legs, his teacher slaps his hand away. 

“Don’t fucking touch yourself, Peter!” Mr. Ellis warns. Peter uses his hands to catch the tears that fall but there are just so many so he gives up. Peter shuts his eyes shut tight but his teacher doesn’t like that. “Open your eyes and watch what I’m doing to you, Peter” 

Peter listens, he doesn’t know why he does. He opens his eyes and looks down but the sight makes the pain hurt even more so he looks away and thankfully his teacher doesn’t complain. 

All that can be heard is skin hitting skin while Peter tries to control his whimpers and his teacher moans above him. 

“So… tight.” Mr. Ellis moans. He slowly stops and Peter can feel a hand press against his lower tummy so he looks down to see what’s happening. “Give me your hand.” 

Peter doesn’t have a choice because his teacher leans forward to grab Peter’s hand, causing Peter to let out another whimper and more unbearable pain he felt in his backside. 

His teacher places Peter’s and on his stomach then continues to move in and out of him. “You feel that? That’s my dick inside you” 

Peter moves his hand away and cries out loud. He wants this to be over but it isn’t ending. He feels pathetic and embarrassed and all he can think about is the pain and that his virginity is being stolen from him in the worst way. 

Peter doesn’t know how much longer he cries for as he is being raped but it eventually stops. His teacher pulls out of him and buttons his pants back up. 

He looks down at Peter and smiles but Peter can’t move. He’s frozen. His backside hurts, kills. Peter continues to lie on the desk with his legs spread because he’s too scared to move them. Even though the rape is done, Peter can still feel the pain down there and something warm and wet sliding down his thighs now. 

Peter sits up a bit to see what’s going on down there and when he sees blood he starts freaking out and crying even louder. He looked up at his teacher for comfort and Peter doesn’t know why he did that. He doesn’t know why he wants comfort from the man who just raped him. The man who just took everything from him. 

“It-it hurts. Please” Peter doesn’t know why he’s saying please. He knows his teacher can’t do anything for the pain, he was the one who caused the pain. 

Mr. Ellis is no longer smiling. He picks up Peter’s pants and underwear and throws it at him but Peter doesn’t catch it. 

When Peter goes to stand up, his legs almost give out so he has to grab onto the desk to support himself. 

“Put your clothes on and get out of here” His teacher says. Peter goes to try and put his underwear on but he can’t do it. He can see blood dripping down his leg and the pain is just too much right now. 

“I-I can’t” Peter cries out. His teacher sits in his chair and aggressively grabs Peter forward. He helps him get his underwear and pants on then stands up and starts cleaning off his desk. 

Peter can barely stand never mind walk. He doesn’t even think he can make it to the door of the classroom without tumbling down. 

“I’ll see you on Monday, Peter. I expect you not to tell anyone what happened” Mr. Ellis warns. Peter nods his head. “And I suggest you throw out your underwear so your Aunt doesn’t find the stains in them” 

Peter wants to throw up. He has to wait for his teacher to open the door and hand him his backpack before he walks out of the classroom as fast as he can on shaky legs. 

The pain in his backside hurts him with every step that he takes but Peter has to ignore that so he can get out of the school and away from his rapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh poor Peter!! Omg my friend Ally wrote the whole rape so when I read it for the first time my heart broke and I wanted to cry because poor Peter omgg!!! I could not have done this chapter without her so thanks Ally!


	14. There’s nothing more to give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I finished writing this chapter last night and was gonna post it but it needed some mad editing and I wanted to do that when I was more awake so it’s up today:) well even if I posted it last night it was past 12am so it still technically would have been posted today haha
> 
> WARNINGS: this chapter is very dark and a lot is written here so just read the tags please once again just to be safe. Now go read then again one more time 
> 
> Ok have fun reading!

As soon as Peter opened the front doors of his school, he ran down the steps and immediately bent over so he could throw up into a bush. 

Peter ignored the pain in his backside as he focused on emptying his stomach which had nothing in it so all that was coming up was bile and it was burning his throat. 

After Peter felt that he was done and that he wasn’t going to throw up again, he stood up on shaky legs and used his sleeve to wipe his mouth. 

His head was spinning and he felt like he was in a dream and that this isn’t actually happening. Peter can’t comprehend the fact that he had just been raped by his teacher. Someone who he thought he trusted for months. Then he goes and takes away his innocences just like that. 

Peter tries to take a step to start walking away from his school and away from where his teacher is but every step that he takes sends sharp pains into his backside that makes the burning feeling even worse. He isn’t sure that it’s supposed to hurt this badly, Peter knows he can handle pain but this feels different. It hurts too much. 

Despite the pain, Peter continues to walk towards his apartment building. He knows Aunt May is home today but he wants her to be gone. He doesn’t want to see her today because if he does, he’s sure he’s gonna throw up again just by looking at her. 

Peter feels horrible for thinking that but he can’t help it. He doesn’t want to see anyone but Tony right now. 

Peter continues walking at a slow paste towards his apartment, having to stop every so often just to try and stop the pain he’s feeling or to try and throw up but nothing comes up. He debates on running home because right now he feels open and vulnerable where anyone can get to him and hurt him again but he can barely walk so Peter knows that he’s not going to be able to run. 

The walk home was excruciating but Peter makes it home a lot longer than it should have taken him. 

He takes the elevator up because stairs would be impossible in his current state right now. Peter goes to take his backpack off to take his keys out of the small pocket and when he steps inside he tries to take a calming breath to prepare for May seeing him but his breath is shaky and he lets out a small sob, he knows he looks awful and that she’s going to know that something is up. 

“M-May?” Peter calls out. He places his backpack on the floor next to the door and walks more into the apartment. He goes into the kitchen and sees a note on the counter. 

Peter,

I hope you had a good day at school. I’m sorry but I got called into work last minute so I let Tony know. 

He’s picking you up at 4:30 just to let you know! Have fun and text me!

Love May. 

Good, Peter thinks. He knows he’s a horrible person for wanting his Aunt to not be at home and at work but he can’t help it. It’s like he hates May for no reason. 

Peter watched as two tears fall onto the note, smudging the ink. He goes to wipe his cheeks and realizes for the first time that he’s crying. Peter doesn’t know how long he had been crying for, maybe he never stopped since he first started crying while he was getting raped. Either way Peter doesn’t care enough to try and stop the tears from falling because he knows it won’t do anything. 

He feels so alone and used and Peter wants nothing more right than to just be held and told that everything is going to be okay even if he knows that it’s a lie and that everything is not going to be okay. 

Peter walks into the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He looks awful. He looks much worse than he thought that he did. 

His eyes are so red and watery that it looks like he had an allergic reaction to something. His hair is sticking up in every direction and he knows that he looks pathetic. 

His teacher just took advantage of him and Peter knows that he could have done something to stop it but he was too scared to because he’s pathetic. 

Another sob escaped his mouth and Peter tries to hold it in. He tries to hold it together just for a little bit longer but all he can focus on is the pain in his backside and how it doesn’t seem to be getting better but actually getting worse and he can now feel something slimy between his legs. 

Peter wants to vomit. He can’t do this alone. 

He walks to his bedroom and shuts the door, double checking the window to make sure that it’s closed and locked and after Peter makes sure that it is, he undoes his jean buckles just like his teacher did it to him just an hour ago. 

Peter then tugs his jeans down and takes them off. They’re covered in stains that he doesn’t even know where some of them came from but he ignores it and focuses on his underwear. 

When Peter pulls down his underwear he’s too scared to look at first. He knows that something is not right. Peter opens his eyes and looks down at his underwear that has blood in it along with other stuff. He can feel the blood between his legs and when Peter looks down he can see the blood that rubbed down his thighs. 

The sight makes him feel even more sick and now that he can see the blood, Peter’s too scared to look anymore. He doesn’t want to touch his backside or look at it, he just wants the pain to go away. 

Peter takes off both his jeans and his underwear and shoves it under his bed. He remembers his teacher telling him that he had to change out of his underwear but Peter didn’t understand why at the time, now he knows why. 

Peter gets out new underwear which just happens to be Iron Man ones. It makes him feel comforted knowing that Iron Man can protect him just like the last time this happened although last time with Skip it was nowhere near as bad as this. 

He debates on going in the shower but Peter decides against it. He knows a shower won’t make him feel any better and he’s still too scared to touch his bum or let anything else touch it even if that includes soap and water. 

So he pulls up his clean pants, careful to not touch his already burning backside and then goes to check his phone. He knows that Tony will be coming soon and he just wants the man to be here already to tell him that everything is going to be okay. 

Peter knows everything will not be okay but he still needs to hear it. He still wants to hear it because right now it seems like the only thing that will make him feel better after just getting raped is for Tony to hold him in his arms and take all the pain away. 

Peter pulls his phone out of his dirty and stained jeans before shoving it back under the bed again. He reads Tony’s last texts saying that he’s leaving now to come get him but that was over fifteen minutes ago so he should be here any minute now. 

Peter shoves his phone in his pocket and hurried over as fast as he can to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water to try and make it look like he wasn’t crying. 

The cold water doesn’t do any good. He still looks like he’s been crying non stop for the past week which is actually partly true. Peter knows he looks pathetic and he can’t stop thinking about it. Pathetic pathetic pathetic. 

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and sees a text from Tony. 

Tony: Hey bud! I’m here, do you want me to come up?

Peter thinks about what he wants. He wants to get the hell out of this apartment so he quickly sends Tony a text. 

Peter: No I’m coming down 

Peter doesn’t look at himself in the mirror before he leaves. He can’t stand to look at his pathetic face right now. Or maybe ever again. 

When Peter goes into the elevator, he tries to take a few calming breaths to try and make himself relax before Tony sees him since Peter doesn’t want him to know anything is wrong. Tony can’t know anything is wrong. 

Outside, the first thing Peter spots is Tony’s car. He feels the tears burn his eyes for some reason and he subconsciously holds his breath until he sees Tony. Peter feels his legs get weaker and weaker with each step he takes as if one more step with have them snapping under the pressure but Peter tries his best to ignore that as well as the burning in his butt that only seems to be getting worse. He can feel the wetness again between his legs but he ignores that too. 

Tony looks up from his phone once he sees Peter. “Hey, bud. Are you ready for a weekend with just me and you?” 

Peter opens the passenger door and practically throws himself into the seat but once his butt touches the seat he jerks his hips into the air and tries to stop the unbearable pain inside of him. Tony sees this and takes his sunglasses off to look at Peter concerned. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Tony asks concerned. 

“Um, y-yeah” Peter tries to think of a fast lie but all his mind can think about is his teacher standing between his legs and stealing away his innocence- “I just bent my finger” 

Tony’s eyes Peter for a few seconds as he carefully lowers himself onto the seat. He misses the way Peter’s face scrunches up in pain since he’s too busy reaching over Peter to grab his seat belt for him. 

Peter wants so badly to lean into Tony’s arm and grab on and never let go but he doesn’t make a move. He stays how he is because he’s trying to not move so he doesn’t feel anymore pain in his backside. 

The car ride is spent with Tony talking to start a conversation with Peter by talking about Iron Man updates and what he’s been working on in the lab. He can tell that Peter is completely out of it. 

Tony knows that Peter isn’t okay. He was hoping that Peter maybe just had a bad dream or a bad day at school and that’s it’s been dragging out all week and that today he would be better but that’s not the case. Peter seems even more out of it than he was yesterday when he saw the kid. 

Peter barely says a word the whole drive to the tower and eventually Tony stops talking because he doesn’t want to force Peter to talk if he doesn’t want to. 

“Do you wanna work in the lab or watch a movie, kiddo?” Tony asks as he gets out of the car. 

Peter slowly gets out of the car and waits for the pain to pass a little bit before he shuts the door and walks over to Tony’s side. He just wants to have Tony hold him so he doesn’t care what they do. 

“Um, movie” Peter mumbles. He follows Tony into the elevator and stands in front of him so that his head can rest against the larger man's chest. 

Tony wastes no time in wrapping one arm around Peter’s back and the other hand to hold the back of the kids head. His heart breaks for Peter because he knows that his kid is suffering but he doesn’t know why he is and that feeling of helplessness breaks him. 

Tony silently leads Peter over to the couch and sits down. Peter pulls away from him because he isn’t sure he can even sit down for that long. 

Tony looks up at him and waits to see what Peter does. He isn’t sure why his kid doesn’t want to suddenly sit with him but he doesn’t push it. Instead he waits until Peter crawls onto the couch next to him and lays his head on his shoulder. 

“FRI, play Grownups two” Tony says. He gently runs his hand through the kids hair as the movie starts playing on the TV in front of them. He wants to talk to Peter and get him to open up but he can tell that Peter is exhausted so he’ll wait until after the movie to talk to him. 

About twenty minutes into the movie, Peter falls asleep and Tony gently moves his head so that Peter’s lying on his stomach with his head on his lap. Tony brushes his hand through his soft curls that have a bunch of tangles in them. 

The movie is almost ending but Tony hasn’t even been watching it. He’s more focused on Peter right now. He feels the kid move in his sleep and let out a few whimpers. 

Tony is sure that Peter’s having a nightmare so he places his hand on the kids back and shakes him. “Pete, Peter. Wake up, bud, you’re having a nightmare” 

Tony shakes Peter a little bit more to try and get him to wake up. Peter whimpers again and starts to roll over onto his back but once he does, Tony immediately sees a wet patch by Peter’s crotch. His heart breaks at the sight because he had no idea that Peter has probably been having nightmares and wetting his bed because of them. 

Peter’s face scrunches up in pain from turning onto his back but Tony thinks it’s because he noticed that he wet his pants and not from the pain of his rape only hours before. 

Peter doesn’t even remember falling asleep but he regrets having done that after it’s too late. He thought that he was back in his classroom with his teacher standing between his legs again and when he wakes up it isn’t to his teacher but to wet pants. 

It takes a moment for Peter to take in everything that just happened and once everything clicks in he rolls onto his back which sends the burning pain in his butt all the more noticeable. He can tell that Tony’s here too but he doesn’t fully process it until he reaches his hand down between his legs and feels that it’s wet. 

Tony doesn’t know what to do. He wants to hold Peter and tell him that everything is gonna be okay but he doesn’t know if Peter wants him to touch him. 

Peter feels the tears burn his eyes and he doesn’t try to stop them anymore. He sits up on the couch so he’s on his knees and facing Tony. He doesn’t want to look at the man because Tony just saw him wet himself in his sleep and now he’s gonna think he’s a baby. 

“Pete, it’s okay, bud” Tony tries to say. “Don’t cry, Pete. It’s okay. It happens” 

Peter shakes his head and tries to wipe the tears away with his fists. Tony reaches out and gently runs his hand down Peter’s arm. 

“It’s okay, Pete. Please don’t cry. We’ll clean it up so it’s okay, bud, just please don’t cry” Tony wants to grab Peter and hold him but he doesn’t. He has to let Peter go to him if he wants to be held. 

Peter shakes his head again and sobs out. “N-no. It’s not-not okay” 

“Yes, it is, Pete. I promise you it’s okay” Tony tries again but his heart is breaking and he just wants to hold his kid in his arms. 

“No. It’s n-n-not” Peter sobs out. He doesn’t know if he can do this anymore. He just wants the pain to go away and for Tony to make it all better again. 

“Pete, it’s okay” Tony continues to run his hand up and down Peter’s arm to try and comfort him. 

Peter shakes his head again. “My teacher raped me” 

Tony pulls his hand away from Peter immediately. He feels his heart beating faster and faster and he doesn’t know if someone just punched him in the face or what Peter really said what he said. 

Tony sees red. He doesn’t know if he stopped breathing or if he’s about to pass out but he holds his hand over his heart anyways and tries to look at Peter but his vision is going blurry. He takes a few big breaths and once his vision is cleared again he looks at Peter who is breaking down in front of him. 

“Wh-what? Did you just say that-that your teacher… raped you?” Tony asks. He knows the answer. He knows what Peter just admitted but he doesn’t want it to be true. Oh please god don’t make this be true. 

Peter nods his head again. “Y-yes” 

Tony wants to vomit. He wants to run over to the kitchen sink and vomit but he doesn’t because he needs to stay here for Peter and figure out what happened. 

“When?” Tony asks. He doesn’t even recognize his own voice. 

Peter is shaking on the couch next to him as he continues to cry. “T-today he did” 

That takes the breath right out of Tony’s lungs. He feels like he’s literally dying. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt like this in his entire life. To feel like your whole world is crumbling away right in your hands as you watch it happen. 

Peter, his kid, was raped just hours ago and he had no idea. Tony thinks about how he was probably working in his lab while Peter was getting raped. 

Tony then thinks about all the time’s Peter has been acting so strange this week. He sees red again. “What else happened? What else did your teacher do to you?” 

Peter wiped his eyes again and tried to look at Tony. He could see the anger on the mans face. “He-he touched me and-and he m-made me t-touch him” 

Tony what’s to know who is responsible for this. He needs to know. “Who did this to you? What teacher?”

Peter sucks in a shaky breath and tries to get the words out but it’s too hard. “My-my l-last period teacher” 

“Give me a name. What’s his name?” Tony doesn’t mean to sound so firm and angry but he can’t help it. He doesn’t have control of his body right now. 

Peter runs a shaky hand down his face, trying to stop the tears. “Mr. E-Ellis. I-I don’t know h-his first name” 

Tony stood up and began pacing back and forth. He feels sick. He feels so fucking sick because some sick fuck decided to take advantage of his fucking kid like this. He wants to kill that man. He will kill that fucking sick fuck. 

“Fuck!” Tony yells and kicked the side coffee table so hard that it went flying across the living room and smashing into the wall. 

Peter flinched in on himself. He didn’t expect Tony to act like this when he told him. He didn’t really think actually, it just came out when he told Tony but Peter didn’t want him to act like this. 

“Stop. You’re s-scaring me” Peter wrapped his arms tighter around himself trying his best to self comfort. 

Tony saw Peter wrap his arms around himself and he instantly felt bad. He didn’t mean to scare Peter after he was already so scared but he is furious. 

Despite how Tony feels right now towards Peter’s teacher, he feels the need to comfort Peter first more than anything. 

“I’m sorry, Pete. I’m sorry” Tony goes to sit on the couch next to Peter but pauses “Can I hold you?” 

Peter seems to think about it for a second before he slowly nods his head and holds out his arms for Tony to come to him. Tony moves closer to Peter and wraps his arms around his small frame. He holds him close, rocking his kid back and forth while Peter cries into his chest. 

“I-I couldn’t stop him and-and he said if I told anyone then h-he’d kill Aunt May so-so I let him” Peter sobs out as he shakes in Tony’s arms. Tony just holds Peter even tighter. “It-it hurt so much and-and I told him I didn’t like it but h-he didn’t stop. And there’s blood in my underwear” 

Tony feels like he wants to vomit again. He knows that his kid had been touched where he shouldn’t ever be touched, forced to touch a grown man and raped but hearing Peter talk about it makes him want to kill this sick bastard right now. 

Tony pulls away from Peter and cups his face gently. He doesn’t know a lot about rape victims and what to do after the fact but he knows that he should probably look down there or have it checked by a doctor to make sure that Peter’s okay. 

“I’m going to make everything okay, Peter. Do you understand me?” Tony holds Peter’s face firmly in his hands. Peter weakly nods his head. “Okay. I’m gonna make a call while you go shower, okay. Did you shower yet?” 

Peter shakes his head so Tony gently helps him stand up. 

“You go shower while I-“ Tony is cut off by Peter. He shakes his head and lets out more whimpers. 

“No. Don’t leave me. Please” Peter begs. He doesn’t want Tony to leave him. Not ever again. 

Tony can see the distress in Peter’s eyes and he doesn’t want to make him feel even worse so he slowly starts leading him towards his bedroom to shower. “Alright. I’ll come with you and stay in your room while you’re in he shower. Is that better?” 

Peter thinks about it and nods his head again as Tony leads him into his bedroom. He sends Peter into the bathroom and waits to hear the water turn on before he pulls out his phone and calls Pepper. 

He knows he should be calling May first because- oh shit! May doesn’t even know and now he has to call her and tell her that her fifteen year old nephew had just been raped by his teacher. 

“Hello? Tony?” Pepper says into the phone. Tony pauses because he doesn’t know what to say. How does he say this without coming across so harsh. Although there is no way to sugarcoat what he’s about to tell her. 

“Peter was raped” Tony blurts out. He waits until Pepper says something but all he can hear is fast breathing on the other end of the phone. 

Pepper finally speaks but when she does it sounds like she’s crying. “He what? Peter was raped, Tony, what?” 

Tony puts his face in his hands. “His teacher just raped him a few hours ago but he’s been… molesting him all fucking week and I” Tony pauses before continuing. “He’s here with me right now going in the shower” 

“Um, you-you need to um, you need to get him to a doctor to make sure he doesn’t have any STI’s or-or” Pepper cuts herself off and starts to cry into the phone. 

Tony feels numb. He wants to console her but he has a teenager in the shower that needs him more right now. 

“I’m gonna call the MedBay. I’ll call you later” Tony says monotone and then hands up. He dials down to the MedBay but he doesn’t even know what to say once they pick up. 

“Hello?” A lady says into the phone. Tony holds his breath for a few seconds before speaking. 

“Um hi. My-my kid was raped. He just um, do I bring him down I don’t…” Tony stands up and starts pacing back and forth in Peter’s bedroom. This doesn’t feel real to him, it all feels like a nightmare. 

The lady on the other side of the phone is silent for a few seconds but she then gathers her composure and speaks. “Yes. You can Um, bring him down immediately. Can I ask when this happened?” 

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. “A few hours ago I think” 

“Alright and did he shower yet. It’s best if he didn’t so we can get the evidence that’s still on him” The lady explains into the phone as Tony quickly knocks on the bathroom door, praying that Peter didn’t go into the shower yet. 

“Pete, are you in the shower?” 

“N-no. I-I need help” Peter says brokenly. He tried to take off his clothes and go into the shower he just can’t. 

Tony sighs in relief. “Okay, good. Um, just… I’ll be in there in a sec.” Tony then puts his phone back up to his ear “He didn’t shower yet but um, what do you mean about-about evidence?” 

“If you and your son agree then we will perform a rape kit on him just to check him for any STI’s and to gather any evidence that will still be on him” The lady explains. Tony nods his head but realizes that the lady can’t see him so he makes a sound of confirmation and hangs up the phone. 

Then steps back towards the bathroom door and knocks on it. “Pete, can I come in?” 

“Y-yeah” 

When Tony opens the door he sees Peter standing fully clothed in the middle of the bathroom, looking at him with his big trusting eyes. 

“I Uh, I need to take you down to the MedBay to get you checked out” Tony explains “They um, if you say yes then they’re gonna do a rape kit on you just to… to check that you’re okay” 

Peter’s body shakes but he nods his head anyways and steps closer to Tony. He sees that Peter is still wearing his wet pants so he leads him over to his dresser and pulls out another pair of track pants. “You have to change out of those before we go down, bud. I’m gonna help you put these ones on” 

Tony bends down so that he can easily help Peter change into clean pants but he looks up at Peter for his permission first. 

“Uh huh. O-okay” Peter weakly nods his head and tries to focus on Tony’s face as his pants get tugged down because this is Tony helping him not his teacher that’s trying to hurt him. 

Tony helps Peter get out of his dirty pants and he tries so hard not to look but he can see the blood smears between his legs and it makes him feel sick. He’s pretty sure that he would be able to see the blood on his underwear if it wasn’t red Iron Man ones but the fact that Peter is wearing Iron Man underwear while he was getting raped makes Tony feel sick to his stomach. 

Peter goes to pull down his underwear too because it’s wet and uncomfortable but Tony stops him. “Keep those on for now until you see the doctor, okay?” 

Peter nods his head again. He lifts his leg as Tony helps him into clean pants. Tony can’t help but think about the kids Iron Man underwear and how he wasn’t there to protect Peter while this was happening. “Were you wearing these underwear while um, today were you?” 

Peter shakes his head. “No. My-my teacher told me to-to get rid of them because it was all messy so-so I put them under my bed but it’s all-they’re all full of stains now” 

“Okay. Okay” Tony doesn’t know what else to say. He leads Peter out of his bedroom and into the elevator without saying another word. He can feel Peter so tense against him so he puts an arm around him and holds him close to his side. 

When the elevator doors open up on the MedBay floor, Peter pushes his head into Tony’s chest and Tony wraps his arm around Peter even tighter. “It’s okay. I got you and no ones gonna hurt you” 

The lady at the front desk looks at Tony and Peter with a sad expression and points towards one of the far rooms in the corner. Tony takes Peter there and shuts the door once they’re inside. 

“Okay, Pete. No ones here to hurt you, I promise but you have to let them help you” Tony tries to pry Peter off him a bit and once he does, he points towards the doctors bed that’s in the middle of the room. “Can you sit on that please?” 

Peter looks at it but shakes his head. “Hurts” 

Tony suddenly feels like he’s getting punched in the face again. He thinks back to when Peter first got into the car or when he refused to sit on the couch with him. He feels horrible for not figuring it out sooner but his mind couldn’t even come up with the fact that the way Peter didn’t want to sit down is because it hurts his butt too because of what happened to him. 

Tony hugs Peter closer to his chest as the door opens and in walks a male doctor. Peter immediately sees him and shakes his head into Tony’s chest. 

“What’s wrong, bud? He’s here to help you” Tony holds Peter against him as his kid shakes. 

“No boys. I want a girl d-doctor” Peter pleads. He doesn’t want a boy to be around him ever again, well adult males. 

The man nods his head in understanding and leaves the room to get a female doctor. The next time the door is opened, a female doctor is walking into the room. 

Peter peeks an eye out but doesn’t protest this time. 

The woman is a young blonde doctor who has a trustworthy face. She stands at the end of the bed and doesn’t step towards Peter or Tony. 

“Hi my name is Dr. Robbins and I’m going to be checking out out. Alright, Peter?” Dr. Robbins asks. Tony holds Peter a little bit tighter to reassure him that he's here with him. 

Peter nods his head. He pulls away a bit from Tony and looks more at the doctor. “O-okay but I don’t wanna take off my pants” 

Dr. Robbins nods her head patiently. “I know you don’t, Peter, but in order for me to make sure that you are okay down there, you have to. I promise nothing will hurt and I can go as slow as you want me to. Does that sounds alright?” 

Peter thinks about it then nods his head. Dr. Robbins then moves to grab a blue hospital gown and places it on the table. “You can put this on over you clothes then slide your pants and underwear off underneath” 

Peter looks at the hospital gown then up at Tony who nods and reaches forward to help Peter put it on while Dr. Robbins puts on some gloves and patiently waits for Peter to sit on the table. 

“Pete, take off your pants and underwear” Tony said. He didn’t want to rush Peter but he also didn’t know what else to do since Peter was just standing there looking confused which Tony knows that’s one of the many emotions that Peter is feeling. 

Peter slowly took off both his pants and his underwear. He looked inside his underwear once it was off him and saw that there was blood in this underwear as well. “There’s still blood” 

Dr. Robbins reached forward for both the underwear and pants. “Can I please have those, honey?” 

Peter passed them to the doctor and turned towards Tony who helped him climb up onto the exam table. Peter kept his legs closed as he looked at the doctor. He knew she wouldn’t hurt him but he was in a very vulnerable position right now. He leaned his back against the backrest of the table and hugged his knees to his chest. 

“I’m going to ask you a few questions. You can skip any of these questions if you don’t feel comfortable answering them, okay?” The doctor asked and Peter nodded his head. 

“How old are you?” Dr. Robbins asked first. 

“I’m Uh, fifteen” Peter shrank in on himself a little bit more. 

She then got started. “Alright, I’m going to ask you some personal history first. Have you ever had sex before?” 

Peter shook his head. No, he hasn’t. This monster took his virginity. Something that was supposed to be saved for someone special and now he can’t do that because his virginity is gone. 

Dr. Robbins wrote something down and then continued. “I’m going to ask you about what happened now, is that okay?” When Peter nodded his head she kept going. “This was a male, correct?” 

“Y-yeah” 

“Do you know if he put on a condom at all?” 

Tony flinched. He tried not to but this was extremely hard on him to listen to all of them. He hates so much that his kid went through this. All he knew was that Peter’s rapist was going to pay. 

“Um, I don’t… no he-he didn’t” Peter held his arms tighter around his legs. 

“Did he just… hurt you down here or did he also hurt you in your mouth?” Dr. Robbins asked. Tony knew that she knew how young Peter is and she didn’t want to use any other words other than hurt to ask him if he would need to be getting a mouth swab as well. Tony mentally thanked her for that but then he started panicking because he has no idea if that fucking bastard put himself into Peter’s mouth. 

Peter looked at the doctor confused. He didn’t understand what she meant by that which was a good sign to both adults in the room but he didn’t understand what that meant. 

“What-what do you mean?” Peter asked. He didn’t understand the question. 

“It’s okay, Peter. We’re going to move on” Dr. Robbins didn’t feel the need to explain to Peter anything that he didn’t need explaining to. “Before we begin the physical exam I just need to ask you if these are the underwear that you were wearing at the time?” 

Peter shook his head. “No. I changed because Um, my teacher said to then there was lots of blood and stuff in them” 

“Where are they now?” 

Peter looked at Tony who smiled weakly at him. “Um, I hid them under my bed. And my other pants as well” 

Dr. Robbins nodded and looked up at Tony. “Can you bring those items of clothing to me after this please?” 

“Yeah, Uh, yeah” Tony would have to make a phone call to May after this. 

“Were you wearing that top today as well?” Peter nods his head. “Alright then I’m going to need that after too” 

The doctor focused her attention back onto Peter again after nodding to Tony to get the clothing. “And these underwear are wet, do you know why?” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders and looked away from both adults. Tony made eye contact with her and he could tell that she knew the reason but she had to be sure. 

“I fell asleep and-and I had an um, accident” Peter admitted. He felt embarrassed and stupid for doing that but Tony places his hand on his head gently so Peter leaned into the touch. 

“That’s okay, Peter. It happens especially after something like this but make sure to tell your dad when it happens so he can help you” Peter looked up at Tony after the doctor called Tony his dad. He liked the way it sounded. “I’m going to start the physical exam now so I need you to put one foot up on this and your other foot up here” 

Peter felt a tear fall down his cheek so he quickly wiped it away. He looked at the doctor who was smiling at him patiently. He knew that she wouldn’t hurt him and that she’s only going to help him but he still couldn’t help but be scared. 

Peter looked over at Tony and slowly reached his hand out for him which Tony immediately took in his own hand. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Peter’s temple “It’s okay, she’s just gonna check to make sure everything’s okay” 

“I’ll go as slow as you want me to go, honey. If you want me to stop and take a break then we can do that too. It’s all up to you” Dr. Robbins explained slowly. 

Peter nodded his head and slowly put one foot on the thing that she told him to then put the other foot on the other but he kept his knees together. 

“Can you move your legs a little bit more apart for me, honey?” She asked patiently. Peter held Tony’s hand tighter as he spread his legs once again but this time he was safe and he wasn’t going to get hurt. 

From their angle, Peter and Tony couldn’t see anything but the hospital gown that was blocking the view which Peter was thankful for. 

“I’m going to use this cotton swab here,” She showed it to Peter as she explained “to try and get as much evidence as I can. It might feel a little bit weird and uncomfortable but I promise you it’s not gonna hurt” 

Peter nodded his head then looked up at Tony for comfort. Peter flinched when he felt the cotton swab go inside him but it didn’t hurt. He didn’t know why he let out a whine. 

“I don’t like it” Peter tried to reach up for Tony so Tony leaned down and kissed his temple again. 

“I know it’s uncomfortable but just say stop if you want me to” Dr. Robbins explained. 

Peter looked at Tony’s hand and tried to focus on the rough calluses on him. He thought about all the years that it developed on him working in the lab. Peter noticed how much more smaller his hand is compared to Tony’s hand, it’s like double in size but Peter likes it that way. That means that Tony can protect him easily. 

“All done. I’m just going to use a cold wipe to clean up your legs and bum a little bit” She held up a container of pampers wipes to show Peter. He looked at them and nodded. Tony on the other hand wanted to vomit again. If she has to clean up Peter down there that only means that there is a lot of blood and he only saw a bit of it, not the worst part. 

“It’s just gonna be cold” She warns before Peter feels the coolness of the wipe on his burning backside. The wipe actually feels really good because it’s calming down the pain just a bit. The doctor noticed Peter looking at her and she mistakes that for Peter being in pain. “Does it hurt, Peter?” 

Peter shakes his head. “No, it was burning before but the-the wipe is cold” 

“That’s good. I’m almost done here but what I need you to do is shower and make sure you wash down here really well, alright, Peter?” Dr. Robbins wiped Peter down one last time before throwing the wipe away. 

Peter shook his head. He was too scared to touch down there because it still hurt. “No. It’s gonna hurt and-and I’m bleeding” 

Tony held onto Peter’s hand tighter. He hated how Peter was scared to shower in case he felt pain. 

“It’s not going to hurt, Peter, you have to wash yourself now so you feel cleaner after and you’re not bleeding anymore. There might be some spotting in your underwear but it should stop in a day and if it doesn’t then you need to tell your dad” Dr. Robbins explained. Peter shook his head again so she took off her gloves and got up. “Alright. I’m going to give you this special body wash soap that will help you, okay?” 

Peter watched the doctor curiously as she grabbed a white bottle of something and set it on the table. 

Peter moved his legs a little bit and it still hurt. There was still a burning feeling that wasn’t going away. “But-but my bum still hurts” 

Dr. Robbins sat back on the stool and looked at Peter one more time. She put her gloves back on and grabbed the wipes, showing them to Peter before using them to wipe him down again. “I know it hurts, honey and you’re so so brave but you just gotta be brave for a little longer until it stops to hurt, okay?” 

Peter held Tony’s hand tighter and nodded his head. Tony pressed yet another kiss to Peter’s temple again. “You’re my brave baby, Peter. I’m so proud of you for doing this” 

“You can stand up now, Peter. I need you to give me your shirt please” Dr. Robbins helped Peter off of the table and Tony held him close to his chest once he was standing again. “I’m gonna get you an outfit to put on until you can go shower” 

Peter watched as the doctor went into the supply closet and came out holding blue hospital pants and a smaller hospital gown, she handed them over to Tony who took them and sat down on the chair. 

“Do you want me to help you change into them?”  
Tony asked as Peter stood in front of him. Peter nodded his head so Tony held out the pants for Peter to step into. He made sure to be slow with him and careful of his butt when he pulled the pants up his waist. 

Tony then tied the front of his pants and took off the hospital gown that he already had on. “Lift up your arms, bud” 

Peter did as he was told then let Tony help him into the new hospital gown that he already couldn’t wait to get out of. He wanted a shower to feel cleaner but the thought of having to touch down there scares him. 

Tony handed the shirt over to the doctor who placed it in a folder. 

“I need the other underwear and pants to be placed into evidence as well, Mr. Stark” Dr. Robbins asks. She turns around and holds out some stuff then faces Tony and lowers her voice. “I have a few things that I need you to do. Right now, he needs to shower and wash everywhere to get everything off, after his shower you need to make sure that this cream is applied to his bum to help with the ripping and to stop the burning. He might find the cream uncomfortable because it’s very thick but it stays on if he doesn’t wipe it off and it’s very important that he doesn’t wipe it off. This is the soap he can use if he wants and I’m gonna give you a package of these wipes” 

Tony took the bag from the doctor feeling completely sick. He was holding a bag that would help his kid heal after getting raped as this was supposed to solve everything. 

Dr. Robbins patted his arm. “It’s important that you keep a close eye on Peter in these next few days. The pain that he’s feeling physically should be gone in a few days but if it’s not then you need to bring him back down here. The bleeding should be gone in a few days as well but make sure you check his underwear at the end of the day just to be sure. Also as for his accident today, it’s normal for it to continue but just keep a close eye on that as well” 

Tony didn’t know what to say so he just nodded his head. He went to turn back to Peter who was waiting quietly for him but the doctor patted his arm again. 

“I will send the swabs for testing to see if he got any STDs and you will hear from me in a few hours for the results” Dr. Robbins explained. 

Tony didn’t want to receive that phone call. Something that happened to Peter today is going to be with him for the rest of his life but if his teacher gave him a sexual transmitted disease then Tony doesn’t know what he’s going to do about that. 

“The hard part for him is over but now it’s going to be an even harder part for him which is healing. Physically he’ll heal in a few days but mentally, that’s gonna take a lot longer and it’s up to him and you. It’s up to his support system” Dr. Robbins explained. “It’s important that you give him choices moving on. Even if it's the little things like if he wants to have KD for dinner tonight or pizza. He needs to feel that he has a voice and a say in things because today he was raped meaning that his right to say no was taken from him so he needs to have a say in things now” 

Tony made sure to remember that. He has to keep that in mind for the healing process that they have in store for the future. 

“Thank you. For everything today” Tony just wanted to get out of here now. He held his arm out for Peter who quickly went to his side and tucked himself under his arm after peeking out at the doctor before leaving. 

As they fit into the elevator, Tony held Peter close to his side. He planned on getting Peter in the shower and into bed but after his kid is in bed he plans on finding out the sick bastard that did this to his kid and plans on paying him a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH POOR PETER but now we have IRONDAD to the rescue.... almost he still needs to pay someone a little surprise visit. And Aunt May omg what’s gonna happen with that ahh! 
> 
> Also I wanted to add a lot more to this chapter but that’s gonna be in the next chapter because I just couldn’t fit it in in this one. See you next Wednesday hopefully or maybe a few days after that:)


	15. The reason I hold on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii guys!! I have another chapter for you guys and I hope you like it:)

The elevator doors opened up so Tony walked out with Peter attached to his side. Tony kept his arm around him protectively the whole way to his bedroom and into the washroom. He felt Peter tightened his hold on him when Tony moved to grab a towel and set the bag of stuff that the doctor gave him down. 

“You go shower while I get some fresh pyjamas for you to wear, okay bud? Then we’ll call your Aunt, alright?” Tony spoke quietly but Peter was shaking his head. 

“No, I don’t want to shower because it’s gonna hurt and I’m not calling May” Peter whimpered. He didn’t want May to know that this happened to him after everything that they’ve been through together. He also didn’t want to shower because he knew that as soon as the water hit his backside then it would be even more painful than it is now and he didn’t want that. 

Tony’s heart was breaking having to listen to his kid talk about being afraid to shower. He hated this so much. “It’s not gonna hurt, Peter. I promise you the shower will make you feel better and then after just put this cream on” 

Tony used his free hand to take the cream and body wash out of the bag and placed it on the counter. He just wanted Peter to shower so the man that raped his kid was rinsed off of him. He needed Peter to shower. 

Peter looked between the shower and the cream. He hated feeling so dirty but he thought that maybe Tony was right and if he showers then he’ll possibly feel a little bit better but showering meant Tony leaving him and he didn’t want that. 

Tony saw Peter’s hesitation so he gently started pushing him more towards the shower and turned it on for him. “Go in, Pete. I promise you’ll feel better after and I’ll go get you some clean clothes” 

Peter shook his head again and grabbed onto Tony tighter. “No. Don’t wanna. Stay”

“Pete, I’m not gonna go anywhere far, I promise” Tony reassured him. “I’m gonna go get you some pyjamas then I’ll come right back in here, okay?” 

Peter thought about it for a few seconds before nodding his head and slowly letting go of Tony. “O-okay just p-promise that you’ll come back here” 

“I promise, Pete” Tony slowly walked out of the bathroom and shut the door then went to go get some pyjamas for Peter. 

Peter felt the heat from the shower as he slowly took off the outfit from the MedBay he was wearing and tossed it in the corner of the bathroom. Peter wrapped his arms around his stomach in a poor attempt to self comfort as he avoided looking at himself in the mirror which was definitely fogged up by now but he didn’t want to take the risk to look. 

Peter lifted a shaky hand up and touched the water. It did feel good on his skin so he took another step into the shower until he was fully under the water. He felt the water hit his skin and Tony was right because it did feel good. 

He still felt extremely dirty so Peter turned the shower as hot it could go and grabbed the soap so he could start cleaning himself off. Peter cleaned the top part of his body but he stopped when he had to touch down there. 

Peter felt like if he touched his backside to even just clean it then the pain he was still feeling would multiply and would be too much to handle so Peter put the soap back down and tried to take a few calming breaths. 

The water was burning his skin to the point where it felt cold and was turning red. Peter didn’t care though because it felt like his teachers hands were leaving his body and if he really thought about it he could still feel his teachers hands on him and in him and he just wanted it all to stop. 

Peter grabbed the soap bottle again and poured a bunch onto his hand then slowly started to clean his backside. He flinched when his own hand touched himself there but not because of the pain. 

The burning feeling in his butt was almost maxed up due to the shower water so hot on his body but it was still worse. 

Peter let out a sob and sank to the shower floor as he brought his knees to his chest and hugged himself. 

He felt so weak and pathetic because he let this happen to himself. He let some grown man rape him and take his innocence from him even though Peter knew that he was strong enough to take him on. He knew he could but he didn’t and now what his teacher did to him will forever remain with him. 

Peter let out another sob before he felt the water turn off all of the sudden. Peter removed his face from his knees and looked up to see Tony standing over him with a concerned look on his face. 

“Peter, why is the water so hot? It’s burning your body” Tony asked concerned. He felt his heart breaking as he looked down at Peter so he quickly grabbed a towel and held it out for Peter but he didn’t move into the towel. 

“No. I don’t want it” Peter said as he pushed the towel away. 

Tony looked at Peter’s skin and saw how red it was. “Why did you put the water so hot, Peter?” 

Peter let out another sob as he looked up at Tony. “To-to try and make the burning in my butt stop!” 

Tony felt like he just got punched in the face. He didn’t know how to handle this situation. He didn’t know what to do and feeling helpless was the worst feeling ever right now. 

“I’m-I’m sorry, Peter” Tony said. He didn’t know why he was saying sorry. “Did um, did you finish washing yourself? If you come out and put the cream on then it’ll help” 

Peter looked away from Tony and looked down at his feet. He felt a shiver run through his body despite the hot touch to his skin. He would do anything to make the pain go away at this point. 

So Peter nodded his head and slowly stood up with help from Tony. Peter stepped out of the shower as Tony immediately draped the towel over his shoulders. 

Peter stood there and he shook from either the cold or something else that Peter didn’t know. He felt extremely vulnerable right now but if it was anyone else in the bathroom with him then he would have been freaking out but it was only Tony so he was safe. 

Tony grabbed the cream from off the counter and handed it to Peter but Peter just looked at it and tears leaked from his eyes as he shook his head. “I-I don’t know what to do with it” 

“It’s easy, Pete, and it’ll make you feel better” Tony reassured as Peter shook his head. 

“No it won’t” 

“Yeah, it will. I promise” Tony tried to smile to make Peter feel better but there was no downplaying this situation. He slowly opened the lid and peeled off the plastic revealing white cream on the inside. “All you do is dip your fingers inside and use it to put in your-in your butt, Pete.” Tony felt like crying himself because this whole thing was just too much for him but he had to be here for Peter even if he was dying on the inside. 

Peter shook his head again. He just broke down in the shower because he couldn’t wash himself and now he had to do this. It was all too much. “No. Can-can you help me?” 

Tony didn’t know what to say but he couldn’t just walk out and leave his kid in here so he moved to the toilet seat and sat down. Peter walked in front of him and Tony held up the cream to him. “Put your fingers in, Pete and then just put it on. Okay? I promise it won’t hurt” 

Peter held the towel closer to himself as he slowly reached his hand out and dipped two fingers into the cream then slowly started to apply it to his bum. It was cold at first so he flinched but Peter tried to do it quickly so he could stop touching himself. 

Peter finished and looked at Tony but he could barely see the man since his tears were blocking his vision. Tony held the cream up to him again. “Put more on, buddy. That wasn’t enough” 

Peter shook his head. “N-no. No more. I don’t like it” 

“I know you don’t, buddy, but it’s gonna help you feel better” Tony head up the cream for Peter again which Peter slowly reached out for again but Tony stopped him. He had to wipe off Peter’s hand so he wouldn’t dip it right back into the cream again. 

Peter repeated the same thing once again but this time he could actually feel the cream helping. Once he was done, Tony stood up and turned the tap on for him to wash his hands. 

“Wash your hands, Pete, and I got your pyjamas to change into.” Tony handed the pyjamas to Peter. “I’ll just be in the bedroom” 

Peter looked ready to protest so Tony smiled weakly at him even though he was breaking inside. “It’s gonna be okay. I’m just behind that door” 

Peter waited for the door to shut before he dropped his towel and carefully pulled his pyjama pants up his waist. He winced when he felt the cream between his legs but it was a different feeling from what he felt after the rape earlier today, this feeling was cool on his backside and Peter just tried to think of the fact that it was there to help him not make it worse. 

After taking his time to put his pyjamas on, Peter opened the bathroom door and immediately searched for Tony. His eyes landed on the man sitting at the edge of the bed looking at Peter as if he was staring at the door the whole time waiting for Peter to walk out. 

Peter felt his eyes burn and the intense need to be safe in the man’s arms so he stumbled forwards until he was in reach of Tony’s arms and felt the man holding him up. 

Once Peter was in Tony’s arms he let himself break down once again. He couldn’t hold it in any longer but Peter wasn’t sure what triggered it this time. He knew that he was safe with Tony and Tony wouldn’t ever hurt him so Peter had no idea why he was crying so hard right now. 

Tony rubbed Peter’s back as Peter stood between his legs and leaned into him. “You’re okay now, Peter. It’s gonna be okay.” Tony whispered into Peter’s ear. 

He wasn’t sure if Peter was actually listening to him since he was crying loudly and the sound continued to shatter Tony’s heart into a million pieces. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes while Peter cried on Tony’s shoulder, letting the man take all of his body weight because he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Tony continued to rub Peter’s back up and down until his cries slowly turned into sad hiccups. 

“I’ll put you to bed, Pete. You need rest” Tony whispered into Peter’s ear then he stood up, holding Peter’s body weight in his arms as he waited for Peter to stand on his feet. He didn’t wait for Peter to respond to him since he knew that Peter wouldn’t be saying anything. 

He walked with Peter into his bedroom and used his hand that wasn’t around Peter’s shoulders to pull the blankets back on the bed and helped Peter get in. 

Peter hesitated before climbing into his bed because he wasn’t ready to leave Tony. He also knew that sleeping meant having a nightmare and waking up to a wet bed. He wasn’t ready for that both mentally and physically. 

“No. I w-want to stay with you” Peter spoke quietly. He wrapped one of his arms around Tony’s stomach in hopes that the man wouldn’t leave him. “Please” 

Tony sighed as he sat at the edge of the bed and gently pulled Peter to lie down. “It’s gonna be okay, Peter. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.” Tony knew that Peter was scared of him leaving and if he could make Peter feel better even just a little bit by staying with him until he falls asleep then he was okay with that. 

Peter scrunched his face up in pain when he felt the burning in his backside when he sat on the bed but Tony quickly pulled his legs up and dragged him down a bit so that he was on his back instead. 

Tony lifted the blankets up to his chin and tried to smile at Peter but it came out pained. He decided to comfort Peter another way so he gently cupped Peter’s cheek in his hand. 

Peter leaned into the touch. “I don’t w-wanna go to sleep.” 

“You have to, Pete. You need to sleep and you’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you, buddy” Tony promised Peter but he felt sick to his stomach because he already couldn’t protect his kid. His kid got taken advantage of in the worst way and he didn’t do anything to stop it and that will be with Tony for the rest of his life. 

“But-but what if I have a nightmare again? Or-or wet the bed?” Peter asked that last part quietly as he looked down at Tony’s hand that was on Peter’s stomach over the blankets. 

“FRIDAY will let me know if you’re having a nightmare and I’ll come and wake you up and if you wet the bed then you can come and get me and I’ll help you with everything, buddy. I won’t be mad” Tony knew that both of those things were inevitable to happen but he would be there for Peter either way. 

Peter seemed to think about it for a few seconds before slowly nodding his head. He carefully turned on his side and curled his knees into his stomach as he looked at Tony. 

Tony continued to rub his hand gently over Peter’s cheek until he watched as Peter’s eyes slowly started to drift shut. He waited a few more minutes to make sure that Peter was in fact sleeping then he quietly stood up and walked out of the bedroom. 

Now that Peter was finally sleeping and Tony didn’t have to pretend anymore to be brave for his kid, he suddenly felt sick so he ran to his bedroom and into the bathing just making it in perfect time to vomit into the toilet. 

Tony felt sick to his stomach because this was his fault. 

He started thinking about how weird Peter had been acting all week. He was quiet and wasn’t interested in hanging out in the lab. He flinched every time someone went too close to him or if a loud noise was heard. 

Tony noticed that Peter was extremely clingy to him. He knew that Peter has always been a clingy kid that liked a lot of comfort of physical touch, he often craved it and sat closer than necessary to him on movie nights or liked to sit close to Tony in the lab when they worked together but Tony noticed that this past week Peter had been almost too clingy. 

Grabbing onto his arm or not wanting him to leave. Tony wanted to punch himself in the face for not noticing anything sooner and he absolutely hated himself for that. 

Then he remembered the obvious signs that were there. The fact that Peter didn’t go out as Spider-Man at all. 

Tony knew he should have pushed Peter harder to have said something to him. He should have kept his kid home from school so this wouldn’t have ever happened. 

He then remembered a few days ago when he picked Peter up from school and his pants were wet, he now knows it’s because Peter peed his pants. 

He could have stopped it before it got too late. He could have stopped it before his kid got fucking raped and Tony would forever blame himself for that. 

Now, on top of everything else, Tony has to call Peter’s Aunt and tell her that her fifteen year old nephew was sexually assaulted by his teacher today. 

The thought of saying it out loud made it real and Tony wasn’t ready for that. 

He stood up on shaky legs as he went to the sink to rinse and wipe his mouth. He then pulled his phone out of his pocket and was about to make himself a coffee before he called May and told her the horrible news but before he could even step foot out of his bedroom, his phone was ringing and it was May who was calling. 

Tony took a few calming breaths before answering the phone. “Hello?” 

“Where’s Peter? Is he-is he with you? Please tell me he’s with you” May said desperately into the phone. Tony could tell that she was crying. 

“Yeah. He’s with me” 

Tony listened as May let out a sigh of relief and then started crying loudly into the phone. Tony was starting to panic because he had no idea why she was crying. He didn’t even tell her yet. 

“I-I was cleaning his bedroom when I got home from work,” May began. “and I started cleaning under his bed when I found-I found his underwear with blood in them.” May broke off and started crying. 

Tony had to sit down on his bed because he suddenly remembered what Peter had told him about hiding his underwear and jeans that he was wearing at the time of the rape under his bed. 

He didn’t know what to say. 

“My baby. My baby boy” May sobbed out. “He was-he was raped, Tony. Someone-he raped my baby” 

“I know. It was his teacher” Tony said monotone. He listened to the other side of the phone as it went silent for a few seconds before a loud sob was heard. 

“Y-you knew? When did this happen?!” 

“Today. I picked him up and brought him to the tower then he told me” Tony explained. He tried not to freak out himself. “I Uh, I brought him to get a um, a rape kit done and I’m still waiting for the results” 

“You knew and you didn’t call me?! Why the fuck didn’t you call me, Tony, he’s my kid?!” May screamed into the phone but Tony didn’t care. Either way it wouldn’t have changed anything. Telling May five hours ago or now wouldn’t change the fact that Peter was raped. 

“It doesn’t matter, May. I was dealing with him at the time and the fucking male doctor that he didn’t even want to come close to him and only lied down on that fucking table to get checked out if it was a female doctor!” Tony couldn’t hold in his anger anymore. “I didn’t fucking call you because it wouldn’t have changed anything! This is my fault that Peter got… its my fault because I wasn’t fucking there!” 

Tony started pacing his bedroom, resisting the urge to punch his wall. He waited for May to blame him too but she didn’t. 

“Stop! It’s not your fault, Tony! Don’t you dare fucking say that it’s your fault because it’s not, do you understand me?” May asked firmly but Tony didn’t care. He knew it was. “His teacher did this to him. Not you, not me. So we gotta be there for him now” 

May tried not to think about all the times that Peter has wet the bed and she just thought it was his nightmares acting up again. She didn’t want to believe it was anything else. She didn’t want to think about the last time this happened was with Skip. 

“I should have known” May said quietly. “He’s been acting so weird lately but I just-I didn’t think” 

Tony felt himself calm down a bit. “I should have known too. I noticed as well” 

“No. The same thing happened with Skip” May began. She knew that Peter never told Tony about Skip before. “He started wetting the bed again like he did with Skip but I just thought it was because of nightmares” 

“Wait, who’s Skip?” Tony asked confused. 

“He-he was Peter’s old friend. When Peter was eight he had this friend that he met at the park who was seventeen and Peter really liked him so he started to babysit Peter but pretty soon Peter started acting really weird and wetting the bed so we had to get him pull-ups but it didn’t stop” May paused and let out a sob. “After weeks went on, Peter finally told us that Skip touches him on his-on his boy parts and so we called the police but since Skip was underage and we didn’t go to court he was just charged and he left Queens” 

Tony had no idea that Peter had been through something like this before. His heart felt like it was falling apart for the millionth time that day. “I didn’t know” 

“He didn’t want to tell you. With Skip, it-it wasn’t this bad. Peter, he-he wasn’t… raped. Skip didn’t do that but I was so scared that he did so I-I checked all of his underwear to see if there were any blood stains or-or other stuff but there was nothing” May paused. “And when I found Peter’s underwear just now under his bed, I felt my heart break because I know what this means but I don’t want it to be true” 

Tony listened to May cry on the other end of the phone but he felt numb. He couldn’t feel anything. 

“Where is he now? I want to talk to him” May said desperately. Tony stood up to go check on Peter quietly. 

“He’s sleeping. I just put him to bed” 

“Okay. Okay. Can you send me a picture? I just want to see him. I need to see my baby” May cried out. Tony quietly stepped into Peter’s bedroom and saw that he was still sleeping in the same position as he left him. He took a picture using flash, knowing that Peter wouldn’t be waking up and he sent it to May then stepped out of the room. 

“I sent you one” 

“I’m coming to the tower now-”

Tony cut May off just because he didn’t want her to come here right now. He wanted Peter to sleep first and then in the morning she could come. “No May. Peter needs to sleep as long as he can. It’ll be too much if you come right now, just come tomorrow.” 

Tony knew May was exhausted as soon as he heard her sigh. “Just make sure you stay with him, Tony.”

“I will, May. You know I will” Tony wasn’t going to be leaving Peter anytime soon. “I just, I need you to bring Pete’s underwear and those jeans that you Uh, found under his bed for evidence when you come tomorrow morning” 

Tony waited for May to agree before he hung up the phone. He had work to do in his lab that involved finding the sick Bastard that did this to his kid. 

.  
.  
.

Tony has been working in his lab for over two hours when his phone rang. 

He thought it was May again but when he picked it up he saw that it was the MedBay calling. 

Panic ran through Tony’s body as he answered the phone call. “Hello?” 

“Hello Mr. Stark, this is Dr. Robbins calling from the MedBay with Peter’s rape kit test results” The doctor said into the phone as Tony gripped his desk table so hard. 

“Okay. Tell me” 

Dr. Robbins began. “The test results came back negative. Peter does not have any STDs so all you need to focus on now is making sure that he continues using the cream to heal up properly. Has he put it on?” 

Tony sighed with relief. He has no idea what he would do if he found out Peter got an STD this way. “Yeah, he um, went in the shower and I helped him put it on right after” 

“Okay, that’s good. Keep helping him do that and if you ever need me then you know where to find me” Dr. Robbins then hung up the call. 

Tony put his phone down and looked back at his computer screen to see the face of Allan Ellis. 

The man who raped his kid. 

Tony continued to stare at the man’s sick face on his computer screen like he has been doing for the past thirty minutes. 

It didn’t take long at all to find him. All Tony had to do was find out the last name of the man and he already knew what school Peter went to so it wasn’t very hard after that with his technology. 

He figured out that the man was fifty-six years old. He had been working at that school for over fifteen years and his record was almost perfect asides from a few speeding tickets. Tony wondered if Peter was the only boy that this man sexually assaulted. He wondered if there were other boys or if the man only had eyes on his kid. 

Tony had spent the next two hours hacking into video surveillance in and outside of the school. He wanted to know every single move that Ellis made. What time he gets to school at. What time he leaves at. Where he lives and what he does in his free time. Tony what’s to know every single thing there is to know about this man. 

Tony watched a video of the man walking into the school in the morning with a huge smile on his face. Tony looked at the date and saw that it was yesterday. Friday. The day that it happened. 

He wondered if the man had the idea to rape Peter that day or if it just happened in the moment. The thought made Tony sick to his stomach. 

He continued to scroll through the video feed from inside the school and saw students walking in the hallways. Tony didn’t want to check if the classrooms had video cameras in them. Even if they did, he wouldn’t watch the video of Peter getting sexually assaulted. 

He knew he couldn’t both for his sake and Peter’s. 

All Tony knew was that he would be paying this man a visit very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to tell you guys but the doctor from the last chapter and this chapter I picked to be Dr. Robbins from greys anatomy sooo if you watch it Ueaaa that’s who it is


	16. I wonder when you’ll come into my world and say it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Technically this is still going up on Wednesday because I didn’t go to bed yet even tho it’s Thursday. Also I’m annoyed because my hair is at a weird length and it makes my head look really big I noticed 
> 
> WARNINGS: please please read tags again because this chapter has some heavy talk and I just want you guys to be super safe. Enjoy

Tony had been down in his lab going on hour three when FRIDAY spoke up. 

“Boss, Peter appears to be awake and is requesting your presence.” FRIDAY spoke. 

Tony ran his hand over his face and stood up. “Thanks, FRI.” He said tiredly as he started making his way into the elevator. It was half past two in the morning and Tony knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night. 

He stepped out of the elevator doors when they opened and quickly made his way to Peter’s bedroom. Tony was already well aware as to why Peter was awake and the thought alone was breaking Tony’s heart to think about his kid suffering. 

Tony gently knocked on Peter’s door lightly. “It’s me, Pete. I’m coming in” 

When Tony pushed open the door, he walked in slowly as to not scare Peter who was sitting up in bed and looking down at his lap. 

As Tony walked more into the room, Peter looked up at him with tear filled eyes. Peter lifted his hands up to his face and let out a sob then he reached a weak hand out for Tony. 

“Hey, bud” Tony said in a low voice. Peter let out a whimper so Tony reached his own hand up and took Peter’s smaller hand in his. “Did you have a nightmare?” 

Peter shook his head but tried to lean into Tony’s body once the man sat down. “I-I wet the bed.” 

Tony nodded his head in understanding. He knew that was the reason that he came up here anyways but he thought that Peter would have had a nightmare to have caused the accident so he was a bit confused that that wasn’t the case. 

“That’s okay. Do you want to go wash up while I change your bed sheets and get you new pyjama pants?” Tony asked as he held Peter and felt him shaking in his hold. 

“It got on my top too” Peter said while he continued to look down. He didn’t feel anything right now. All he could think about was his teacher and if he would be coming to get him again. Peter didn’t want to ever see him again and he was terrified that this would happen again, he didn’t think he could physically and mentally handle it happening again. 

“Okay. I’ll get you a new set of pyjamas then while you’re in the shower” Tony felt Peter shake his head so he looked down at him under his arm and saw him biting on his finger so he carefully pulled his finger out of his mouth. “Don’t do that, Pete. You’ll rip the nail off” 

Peter ignored what Tony said and tried to lift his hand up to his mouth again but Tony held it firmly so he stopped. He decided to focus on what Tony said before. “I don’t want to shower” 

“It’ll be quick. You have to because if you don’t then your skin will start to itch and it’ll hurt” Tony moved to stand up but stopped when Peter let out another whimper. “Come. I’ll help you” 

Peter reluctantly let go of Tony and let Tony peel back the wet sheets and blankets from him. Once he did that, his wet pyjama pants and sheets were on full view for both him and Tony to see but Peter couldn’t care less at this moment. 

Tony didn’t show any mind that he cared as well as he helped Peter stand up and motioned him to go in the bathroom but Peter stopped walking because he did not want to take a shower right now. 

“I’ll turn on the shower for you-” Tony started round day but Peter cut him off. 

“No! I’m not showering” Peter felt more tears fall down his face but he didn’t try to stop them. “I just want to use something to clean myself. No shower” 

Tony sighed as he quickly looked around the bathroom for something. “I don’t have any wipes or anything, bud.” Tony looked at Peter standing at the doorway looking so small and so fragile. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen Peter look so tiny. “I’ll order some but for now you use this,” 

Tony grabbed a face cloth out of the linen closet and soaked it in warm water before handing it to Peter. “Use this, alright bud. I’ll be in your bedroom” 

Tony waited for Peter to grab the warm wash cloth before leaving to go get the cream from his bedroom quickly before Peter noticed that he was gone. He then tried to find another set of pyjamas for Peter and pulled out a Hulk pyjama set for Peter. He smiled at the memory of the last time Peter wore these was about three weeks ago when he spent the night and they watched movies until they both fell asleep on the couch together. 

Tony pushed that memory away sadly because he wasn’t sure if he would ever get to have happy memories like that with Peter ever again. 

He knocked on the bathroom and waited for Peter to say something but when there was no response, Tony opened the door expecting to find Peter unconscious on the floor but instead he saw Peter sitting on the closed toilet seat with his pyjama pants thrown on the floor. 

Tony walked over to Peter and kneeled down in front of him. “Pete? Did you use the wash cloth, bud?” 

Peter nodded his head and he let out a sob and tears began to fall. 

“I’m scared” Peter’s voice broke when he said that and so did Tony’s heart. 

“I know, Peter but it’s okay now. I’m here and I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you” Tony tried to say without his own voice breaking. 

“I’m just s-so scared and-and” Peter cut himself off by crying loudly and covering his face with his hands. Tony placed the clean pyjamas on the counter for Peter along with the cream. 

“You’re safe now, Peter” Tony placed her hand over Peter’s cheek and wiped a few tears away with his thumb. “Get changed into these and put some more cream on while I go change your sheets” 

Tony moved to stand up but Peter quickly grabbed his hand and shook his head. “Don’t leave” 

“Okay. Okay um, do you want me to help you?” Tony asked already grabbing the clean pyjamas off the counter. Peter didn’t nod his head or say anything but he did stand up so Tony quickly helped him get his pyjamas on and helped him change his top then he picked up the cream and handed it to Peter. “Put this on, bud. Use a lot and don’t worry about it running out because I’ll get you more”

After Peter took the cream, Tony left to go finish with his kids sheets. 

Every few seconds Tony would look back to the bathroom door to see if Peter was walking out of it. All Tony could think about was if Peter would ever be the same after what happened to him or if this would stay with him forever and affect him for the rest of his life. 

Tony knew that Peter wouldn’t ever forget it and it would be something that will stay with him and that he will carry with him even into his old age but Tony didn’t want this to ruin who his Peter is. Who Peter Parker is. 

His kid who is so happy all the time and who’s always bouncing around with energy and talking non stop about pretty much anything and everything. 

Tony knew that it was going to take some time to heal both physically and mentally but he didn’t know if Peter would ever be the same again and that terrified Tony. 

Healing physically is the easy part, it’s the healing mentally part that is the hardest and longest if a person ever heals. 

All Tony knew was that he was going to be here for Peter no matter what happens next. 

After the bed sheets were changed, Tony laid down on one side of the bed and put his arm behind his head to wait for Peter. 

It took Peter a couple more minutes before he was slowly opening the bathroom door and walking out. Tony watched as Peter’s eyes immediately landed on him then he was making his way over to Tony on the bed, crawling on the bed to him. 

Peter hesitated while he looked at Tony’s chest where he wanted to put his head. Tony didn’t know why his kid suddenly stopped. He knew Peter never backed away from anyone in his personal bubble because he loved physical comfort but Tony knows now that it will be different. 

He hates that thought but it’s the truth. 

What scares Tony though is the fact that Peter is hesitant to come near him. Tony knows that Peter never once hesitated before coming near him, even after everything was happening with Peter’s teacher when Tony didn’t know. Peter still wanted his comfort. 

Tony held his arm up in an invitation for Peter to lie down next to him. Peter shrugged his shoulders just before his face scrunched up and lifted a dusted hand up to his face and shook his head. 

“N-no. I can’t touch you n-now because-because I’m so d-dirty.” Peter sobbed out. 

Tony hated the words that came out of Peter’s mouth. He didn’t ever want Peter to think that what happened to him and what was done to him would ever make Tony think any different of his kid. 

“Peter no. Don’t you ever say or think that again.” Tony sat up in bed and slowly put his hand on Peter’s knee, Peter flinched a bit at the touch but he didn’t push Tony away. “I will never think of you any less or any different just because that monster hurt you the way he did. Do you understand me? I love you, Pete. I love you so much and I need you to know that” 

Peter didn’t do anything to show Tony that he understood him or even heard him. 

“I-I know I’m dirty because-because he-he just…” Peter trailed off and let out a violent sob that shook his whole body so Tony reached out and pulled Peter down by his wrist so he was laying on top of Tony with his head on his chest. 

Peter tried to struggle at first but once his head landed on Tony’s chest, he relaxed his body and curled his legs into his stomach so he was in a ball. 

“Shh shh” Tony hushed Peter and ran his fingers along Peter’s thin frame and in his hair. 

They stayed in that position while Peter continued to cry and shake with Tony trying to hold him and calm him down for about half an hour before Peter’s sobs slowly turned into sad hiccups. Tony felt his own shirt dampened with tears and possibly snot but he could care less. 

As long as Peter was getting the comfort that he needed right now then Tony could care less about his wet shirt. 

Peter turned to face Tony with his head still on the man’s chest as he brought his index finger to his mouth to bite at it out of nerves. Tony pulled his hand away from his mouth without saying anything. 

He could see the loss of sleep written all over Peter’s face. His cheeks looked sunken in as if he hadn’t eaten anything in weeks and Tony knew that was partly true. He knew Peter had barely eaten anything in the past week but because of Peter’s extra fast metabolism that meant that Peter actually hadn’t eaten anything in three weeks as opposed to one week. 

Tony also knew that he wasn’t okay with the fact that Peter had just been getting by on nothing but a few bites of meals. 

He didn’t want to force Peter to eat anything but he knew in the morning he had to for Peter’s health. Even if his kid fights him on it which he is very prepared for. 

Peter weakly played with the buttons on Tony’s shirt as he spoke. “Do you mean it?” 

For a split second Tony paused his hand movements on Peter’s back before resuming. “I do. I want you to know that” 

A slight smile appeared on Peter’s lips for a second before disappearing but Tony himself smiled wide at the sight that he might not see for a long time. 

“Okay” Was all Peter said. Tony expected something more but he wasn’t surprised one bit. “Can you just stay until I fall asleep?” 

Tony nodded. “I’ll stay as long as you want” 

Peter knew he could fully relax and with Tony here. He was okay but as he fell asleep, Peter couldn’t stop thinking about it happening again. 

There was no way to know for sure that his teacher wouldn’t hurt him again and that terrified Peter. He was glad that he told Tony about what happened but he was still scared beyond belief. 

.  
.  
.

Tony ended up falling asleep about an hour after he felt Peter’s breath even out. 

He was thinking about leaving to go back down to the lab right after his kid was sleeping but Tony decided against it. He wanted to stay with Peter just in case he needed him. Also because Tony wasn’t ready to let Peter out of his sight anytime soon. 

When Tony woke up, it was to the morning light coming through the window in the bedroom. His eyes adjusted and immediately landed on Peter’s sleeping form. 

Peter was still in the same position as he fell asleep in with his head on Tony’s chest and his legs curled into his stomach so he was curled into a ball. 

Even in sleep, Peter’s face was scrunched up in discomfort and pain. 

Tony hated seeing his kid in pain. He wishes he could take it away, he would do anything to take away Peter’s pain but he knew he couldn’t. All he could do for Peter was be there for him. 

Tony gently lifted his arm up to brush away the sweaty curls on Peter’s forehead and as the sunlight hit his face, Tony could make out the dried up tear stains. 

He felt Peter move on top of him so Tony tried to remain as still as possible as to not wake Peter up but it was too late. 

Peter’s eyes opened up and it took him awhile to remember where he was and what had happened the day before. As Peter remembered, the fresh memories came flooding back into his mind and he had to shut his eyes tight to try and forget them. 

I’m safe. Tony’s here and I’m safe. Tony’s here. 

Peter’s hand immediately went down to touch between his legs to see if he wet himself but Tony grabbed his hand already knowing what he was checking for. 

“You’re fine, Pete. You’re fine” 

Peter nodded his head. He wanted to rest his head back on Tony’s chest and sleep a little bit longer but he knew Tony didn’t want that, seeing as the man stayed with him all night. Peter thought that was only because Tony felt obligated to. 

Peter sat up on his knees and wiped the sleep out of his eyes with his fist as he looked at Tony who sat up more. 

“I’m gonna go make some breakfast so how about you go into the bathroom and put some more cream on” Tony suggested and when Peter made no move, he started getting out of the bed in hopes the kid would copy him. “You can keep your pyjamas on if you’d like. We’re not doing anything today” 

Tony hated how he sounded so normal. 

Everything was far from normal so he hated how he was talking as if things were. 

He hesitated before leaving the bedroom and gave Peter a pleading look. “Please. Peter, you need to do that. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done” 

At that, Tony left. 

He would wait fifteen minutes for Peter to come to him and if he wasn’t out by then, then Tony would go check up on the kid. 

Tony quickly went into his bedroom to brush his teeth and put some clothes on to make him look a little bit more decent before going into the kitchen. 

As he started getting everything ready for him to make some pancakes for both Peter and him, Tony pulled his phone out and saw that it was 9:18am so he would have to call May soon for her to come over but first he would have to talk to Peter. 

.  
.  
.

Peter waited a few seconds after watching Tony leave to get off the bed and go into the bathroom. 

He debated sitting on the closed toilet seat and staying there until Tony came back in to find him and see what was taking so long but there was no guarantee that Tony would come find him. Peter highly doubted that. 

After shutting the bathroom door, Peter hesitated before pulling down his pants. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and looked at his face. 

He looked pale and the under eye circles that surrounded his eyes looked like they were growing and made it look like he had two black eyes. Peter ran a shaky hand through his hair and melt the mess of curls and knots in them. He guessed that Tony had a lot to do with that considering the man’s hand was playing with his hair all night, Peter didn’t mind. 

A whimper escaped his mouth so Peter turned away from the mirror and hugged his arms around his stomach to feel some sort of comfort without Tony there. 

Peter made quick movements to take off his pyjama pants and his top. He grabbed the cream that was sitting on the counter from last night and he quickly applied it to his backside then washed his hands and stepped out of the bathroom. 

Peter looked around his bedroom, expecting to see Tony there and was surprised to see that the room was empty. 

He kneeled down to get pyjamas out of his drawer and slid some underwear on followed by his now clean pyjamas. 

Peter slowly walked out of his bedroom, hating the feeling between his legs as he got closer and closer to the kitchen. 

The smell of pancakes and syrup immediately reached his nostrils which caused Peter’s stomach to growl in hunger. Peter didn’t even realize he was this hungry until just now. 

Tony was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island, filling up a glass of what Peter assumed was apple juice. His favourite. 

Peter didn’t acknowledge the food that was on the kitchen island because all he wanted was Tony. 

Tony who could protect him and keep him safe. 

He saw the man look up at him and smile. “Hey, Pete. I made Uh, pancakes.” Tony felt awkward and a little bit uncomfortable because he wanted to try and be happy to make Peter feel better but he didn’t want to pretend that the whole rape didn’t just happen less than a day ago to the kid walking towards him. 

Peter didn’t answer Tony as he walked over to him and shoved his face into the man’s chest, sighing in relief. He didn’t know why he felt his eyes burn with tears when he felt Tony’s arms around him, holding him tight and keeping him safe. 

Tony knew that he had to tell Peter about his Aunt because he had to call her soon to let her know she can come over. 

After a few minutes, he spoke. “Pete, we need to talk about your Aunt.” Tony started. He felt Peter tense and shake his head. “I know you didn’t want to tell her, bud, but she knows” 

Peter pulled away from Tony like he was just burned. Tony held up his hands in front of him, hating the look of pure betrayal on Peter’s face. 

“You told her?” Peter asked with hurt deep in his voice. 

Tony shook his head. “No. I would never tell her because you didn’t want me to tell her. She found out on her own and called me last night. I told her you were with me for the night” 

Peter let out a shaky breath. He was so scared that Tony told his Aunt after he told him not to and betrayed his trust but thankfully that wasn’t the case. He also hated how Tony said to May that he was with Tony for the night. As if he had to go back home with May today. 

Peter wanted to cry at the idea of leaving Tony and going with May. 

“How did she find out?” Peter asked. 

Tony didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “She found your underwear and pants under your bed, buddy” 

Peter looked at his feet. “Oh. Okay” 

Peter hated that May had to find out that way, if it were up to him, she wouldn’t have found out at all. There was a question that was lingering on Peter’s tongue. “Was she mad at me?”

“What? No, Pete.” Tony reassured him. He hated how Peter probably thought that this was all his fault and Tony hated how the kid blamed himself. “Your Aunt loves you, Peter. She would never be mad at you, she’s just scared for you, bud” 

Peter nodded his head. He didn’t know what to think since so many emotions and thoughts were running through his head right now. 

He glanced at the food laid out on the kitchen island and felt his mouth water. Peter doesn’t even remember the last time he actually ate an actual meal. 

Tony thought about what May had told him on the phone last night after she found Peter’s clothes under his bed. He thought about Skip and how Peter never told him about that. 

Tony would have wanted Peter to tell him himself and not find out through May but he guesses that Peter just wanted to put that behind him. Tony still has to ask Peter about him. 

“Hey, bud. Your Aunt Uh, she told me about Skip” Tony saw Peter tense at the mention of his past abuser and Tony immediately wanted to take it back. He hated seeing Peter look so small and so scared. 

Tony was about to tell Peter he didn’t have to talk about it to him but then Peter started speaking. “S-skip he-he was my friend. I guess. I um, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t um, I didn’t want you to think I was-I was weak” 

Tony sighed. “Pete, you know I’d never think you were weak. No matter what happens. You’re the strongest kid I know, Peter” 

Peter laughed weakly and made eye contact with Tony for a few seconds then looked away. “I’m the only kid you know so… that doesn’t mean a lot” 

“True.” Tony paused. “Then you’re the strongest person I know, Pete”

Peter looked at his feet. “I’m not. I let him-I let him…” Peter trailed off because he didn’t want to have to say what his teacher did to him again. 

Tony wasn’t sure if Peter was talking about Skip or Ellis and that made him sick. Two too many. 

“You didn’t let him do anything to you. Did you say no?” Tony asked. He was sure that even if Peter said no that wouldn’t have stopped anything. 

Peter thought about it. He tried to think back to yesterday in his classroom with his teacher. Hands on his jean buckles and hands on his thighs that weren’t his own. Did he say no?

“I-I said stop. And that-that I didn’t like it but he didn’t care” Peter expected tears to fall down his cheeks or for his voice to break but it kept steady and empty. 

Tony shut his eyes for a split second to try and not think about it. He couldn’t get it out of his head. “That um, that still counts, Peter. You clearly didn’t want it and he knew that. He’s a monster and didn’t care about you. He only took what he wanted and even your lack of saying yes is still a no” 

This time, tears fell down Peter’s cheeks. He watched them land on the floor in front of him before looking up to see a blurry Tony standing tall in front of him. 

Peter walked forward a few steps and collapsed into Tony’s arms. “I-it wasn’t as b-bad with S-S-Skip. He-he didn’t-he didn’t do what Mr. Ellis did to me.”

Tony wanted to make that man pay. He was going to make that man pay. 

He also made a mental note to look up this Skip guy. 

Peter waited for Tony to say something but the man just squeezed him tighter and in a way that was a lot better than anything words could do to comfort. 

Peter tried to relax in Tony’s arms with his head pressed into his chest but then Tony started talking. “Your Aunt wants to come see you this morning, bud.”

Peter let out a shaky breath and sighed before shaking his head. “I don’t want to see her”

“Why? She wants to see you to make sure you’re okay” 

Peter pushed away from Tony with his face scrunched up. “Well I’m not okay! I was just fucking raped by my teacher! I’m not okay so tell her that.”

Tony wasn’t used to Peter screaming at him or lashing out and he was definitely not used to Peter swearing. He doesn’t even think he’s ever heard the kid swear before. 

“I know you’re not okay, Peter. I know you went through fucking hell and I hate that. I fucking hate that so much and you’re not gonna be okay today or tomorrow or next week. Not even next month because it’s gonna take time and I’m going to be here to help you every step of the way, Peter” Tony hasn’t realized that in his speech he reached out and grabbed Peter’s hand in his. 

He saw how much more smaller Peter’s hand was in his larger one. Peter was a child. A fucking child and he had this happen to him. 

Tony’s not sure if Peter will ever be a child again after this. 

Peter didn’t say anything which was now a common reoccurrence. Tony was used to it but it still didn’t make anything easier. 

“Can I call May now?” Tony asked. If Peter said no then Tony would not be having May come over. He wanted Peter to feel like he had a voice and he had choices. 

Peter seemed to think about it then nodded his head. “Okay. Will you be here the whole time?”

“Yeah, if that’s what you want” Tony would do anything Peter asked him to. 

“Yes. I want you to” Peter admitted, feeling weak. 

“Okay, then I’ll stay. Can you start eating while I quickly go call her?” Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket. Peter only gave a slight nod so Tony went to make the call. 

He returned less than five minutes later and was pleased to see Peter sitting on the kitchen stool slowly picking at his pancakes and putting a small piece in his mouth. 

As he sat next to him he spoke. “May will be here in thirty minutes.” Tony grabbed his own fork and pulled his plate in front of him to take a bite of the pancakes but they were cold now. “It’s cold. I can make you more”

“It’s fine. I um, never realized I was this hungry” Peter admitted as he shoved a larger piece into his mouth, barely chewing before he was shoving another one in. Tony watched him with a slight smile on his face and slowly slid his plate over to Peter. 

“Yeah, you Uh, haven’t been eating much. I can see it on your face” Tony said. He saw Peter pause for a few seconds before continuing. 

For the next thirty minutes, Tony and Peter continued to eat in silence. Well, Peter ate while Tony watched him eat. After Peter finished all his pancakes, he hesitated before grabbing Tony’s plate and sliding it in front of him to eat. 

“May Parker is coming up in the elevator, Boss.” FRIDAY announced. 

Peter looked over at Tony with wide eyes. “Don’t leave”

Tony placed his hand on Peter’s cheek, feeling the stickiness from the syrup. “I won’t”

The elevator doors opened and May walked out looking like she hasn’t slept in months. Her hair was in a messy high ponytail and the bags under her eyes told Tony that she was up all night worrying and crying. He didn’t blame her. 

When her eyes landed on Peter, she let out a sob and ran over to him. Peter immediately leaned backwards into Tony and went stiff. 

“Oh my baby! My baby” May cried and went to hug Peter. As soon as May put her arms around him, Peter started freaking out. 

“No! Don’t touch me. Please d-don’t touch me” Peter cried out. When May pulled back she looked at Peter as if she had just accidentally killed him. 

Peter slid off the kitchen stool and slid between the island and Tony’s legs so he was cornered and safe. 

May lifted her hands up to her face in sadness and shock. “Peter, baby. I’m not gonna… I’m not gonna hurt you, baby” 

Tony could feel Peter shaking against him so he tried to hold him the best he could at the angle they were at but it was kinda hard. He was also really concerned as to why Peter was scared of May. She was a female but also his Aunt. 

“He just needs some space, May” Tony explained. He stood up and leaned down to whisper in Peter’s ear. “Want me to take you to your bedroom until you decide you want to see her?”

Peter nodded his head so Tony started walking him there. He turned around to tell May. “We’re going to sit in his bedroom until he’s ready” 

Tony didn’t notice how May reacted since his main priority was Peter. When they got to his bedroom, Tony went to go sit down on the bed with Peter following him. They resumed the same position as last night. 

“I’m sorry” Peter said as he fisted and unfisted Tony’s shirt. “I don’t want to see her. I-I only said yes because I wanted to make May happy but-but I don’t want her to touch me” 

This kid, Tony thought. Even after everything he still wants to make other people happy. Putting other people in front of himself. 

“If you didn’t want her to come Peter then she would have understood and if she didn’t then too bad” Tony pointed around Peter’s chest. “You do what you want. Don’t care about anybody else but yourself” 

“What about you?” Peter asked in a small voice. 

“I only care about you too, kid. Just you. No one else” Tony admitted. It was true. It had been true for a long time.

“Okay. I’m tired” Peter said. He felt his stomach twist in a good way at what Tony said but he didn’t know what to say plus he was really tired even if he just woke up. 

“I know. You sleep” Tony began patting Peter’s back. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep” 

Peter wanted to ask if Tony could stay by his side until he woke up like last night but he fell asleep before he got the chance. 

As Tony untangled himself from Peter’s mess of limbs, he tried to mentally prepare for what May would say to him. 

When Tony walked out into the living room, May was sitting on the couch staring straight ahead into nothing. 

She looked up at Tony with wide hopeful eyes but they fell once she saw that Peter wasn’t with him. 

“Where’s Peter?” She asked. 

Tony sat on the couch across from May so they weren’t side by side. “He fell asleep. I can see he hasn’t been eating or sleeping properly”

May nodded in agreement. “I know. I-I should have noticed. I knew something was going on with him but I was too busy with other things that I thought were more important at the time. He-the signs were all there, Tony. I went through this with him before.”

Tony didn’t speak because he didn’t know what to say. May continued. “The panic attacks and the bedwetting. He hadn’t done both of those things in so long, I just thought it had something to do with-with nightmares or stress from school. Apparently it was something else from school” 

“A fucking pedo” Tony scuffed. He needed to punch something. Or someone. 

May looked over at Tony with sad eyes. “I want to see him. He’s sleeping so he can’t push me away, please Tony” 

Tony shook his head sadly. He wasn’t about to betray what Peter wanted or didn’t want just because May wanted it. 

It was Peter’s choice. 

“I can’t let you. He doesn’t want to see you right now and I promised him I wouldn’t break that promise” Tony sighed. “His choice got taken away from him, May. That guy-that guy raped him after he told him not to and he still did it. He made him feel like he had no voice and if I let you see him after I told him I wouldn’t then that makes me just as bad as his teacher” 

May shook her head. “You’re not like him. You’ll never be him, Tony, don’t even compare yourself to him” 

Tony nodded as he stood up. “I have to go do something” 

Tony went to go walk away but May followed him. “Where are you going? Peter needs you here”

“I need to do this for Peter” Tony said desperately. 

By the look on Mays face, Tony is sure that she knows where he’s going and she doesn’t stop him. 

Tony left to go give Peter his justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh!!! I’m so excited to write the next chapter which is what I’m going to do RIGHT NOW! I’m on a roll and I can’t be stopped! Ironic I’m listening to a song called unstoppable from Austin and Ally ahh! (I was listening to their whole soundtrack while I wrote most of this chapter:)


	17. Telling my whole life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter so much and I hope you guys do too:)

After Tony left May and Peter on his floor, he took the elevator down to his lab. 

Tony walked over to his computer and shook the mouse to life. He didn’t bother to sit down because he didn’t plan on staying very long. 

He wanted to check to see where Peter’s rapist was and make sure he finds him alone before leaving. 

Tony had obsessed over the man’s life and what he does before school, after school and on the weekends. He wanted to know about this guy and what made him decide to take away his kids innocents in the worst way. 

He stepped into his Iron Man suit, feeling it close in on his body before taking off. 

Tony was excited to be paying this man a visit. 

.  
.  
.

Tony flew over the man’s house like a vulture waiting for its prey to die before sweeping in and taking what it wants. 

It didn’t take very long to arrive at the man’s house and that scared Tony because he lived very close to the tower and even closer to Mays and Peter’s apartment. That terrified Tony. 

Tony flew around his house a few times before landing hard on the front porch he was sure he left suit indents. 

He kicked the door open with more force than was necessary and slowly stepped into the house. Tony tried to take in everything that he could. 

There weren’t any pictures of any family up but Tony already knew that the man was alone. He had no one and maybe that’s why he did what he did. 

Tony walked more into the house, each step he made echoed into the hallways. He looked around for any sight of the man but so far there was nothing. 

He wasn’t sure what his first reaction was going to be once he saw the man face to face, he’s seen pictures of him through a screen and that was enough to make him want to wrap his hands around the man’s neck until he hears a snap. 

There was a quiet sound behind Tony, as if someone was trying to sneak up on him so Tony turned around and saw the man he came here for. Allan Ellis. 

Ellis was holding a baseball bat in his hand but he immediately put it down and sighed in relief seeing as it was Iron Man and not someone breaking into his home. 

Tony thought about how he’s gonna wish it was a burglar rather than Iron Man very soon. 

“Iron Man, what are you doing in my house?” Ellis asked. He looked like a mixture of amused and confused at the same time. 

Tony lifted up his face mask so that he was now face to face with the man. He must have looked furious because as soon as Ellis saw his face, he took two steps away from Tony. 

Tony looked the man up and down seeing as he was a big guy. He didn’t look intimidating to him but Tony could see how the man would look intimidating to a fifteen year old kid. 

“You have no idea why I’m here, do you?” Tony asked. He watched as the confusion passed over the man’s face before he went to speak but Tony cut him off before he got the chance to say anything. “You raped my kid.” 

Ellis’ shoulders tensed up after it all clicked together for him why Iron Man was in his house on a Saturday morning. Tony wanted to be happy at the fear written all over his face but he hasn’t even gotten started yet. 

“I-I didn’t rape anyone.” The man stuttered out but Tony already knew the truth. He saw the damage that this man caused his kid. 

Tony took another step forward in his suit which had Ellis taking two steps backwards. “You can at least have the fucking courage to admit what you did.”

Ellis only shook his head and tried to look around for something to defend himself with but he soon realized that there was nothing that could protect him now. 

Tony stepped out of the suit and slowly walked towards the pedophile in the room. He tried to control himself long enough to say what he wanted to say to the rapist. 

“You raped my fifteen year old boy.” Tony continued to walk closer to the man. “He’s fifteen fucking years old and you took his innocence away from him! Don’t you fucking dare act like you don’t know what you did because you know what you did!” 

Tony holds back just a little bit longer as he clenches and unclenches his fists in his hands. 

Ellis looks down for a few seconds but when he looks back up at Tony he has a grin on his face and Tony fucking loses it. He throws himself at the pervert making the man lose his balance at the unexpected attack and land hard on his back so that he smacks his head on the hardwood floor. Tony lands on top of him and starts throwing punches at the man’s face. 

“You fucking sick son of a bitch!” Tony yells as he continues to punch Ellis’ face again and again and again. He’s pulling his punches just a bit so he doesn’t kill the man or make him lose consciousness. He wants him to stay alert for what’s coming to him. 

“Stop! Stop please!” Ellis says as he weakly lifts his arms up to try and defend himself. Tony thinks about how Peter begged this man to stop raping him while it was happening but Ellis didn’t care so why should Tony care. 

He continues to land more punches on the man’s face. His knuckles hurt but it’s a good pain. Tony looks down at the bloody mess in front of him, still not satisfied just yet. 

He gets off of the man and fully stands above him. “You messed with the wrong fucking kid you ped.” 

Ellis leans his head over and spits up some blood. Tony is sure he sees a tooth in there but he’s not certain and he doesn’t care. 

Ellis coughs a few times before attempting to speak. “I-I didn’t know… he was your kid.” 

“Now you do.” 

Ellis tried to look up at Tony but he seems to be having a hard time lifting his head up. Tony enjoyed watching him struggle. 

“Are-are you going to… kill me?” He asks. Tony can hear some fear and hesitation to his voice. 

“That would be too easy,” Tony kneels down so he’s close to Ellis’ ear. “I want you to suffer the way you made my kid suffer. You didn’t give him a choice when you decided to take his pants off and rape him so I’m going to make sure you live a long life. You’re just gonna wish you were dead. Every. Single. Day” 

Tony stands back up and walls into his suit. He then steps towards Ellis again and decides not to pull his punches this time. 

He lands punch after punch on Ellis’ face until it is no longer recognizable. Even after Tony’s done on his face, Ellis is still conscious but Tony isn’t even sure the man is able to talk even if he wanted to. 

Instead, Ellis lifts his hand up to try and stop Tony so Tony grabs his arm and twists it until he hears a satisfying snap followed by a loud, blood curtailing scream. 

So he can make a sound, Tony thinks. 

“P-please. S-s-stop. I-I can’t” Tony ignores his pleads the same way he knows that Ellis ignored Peter’s pleads. 

Tony grabs his broken arm in a tight hold and bends it at an awkward angle to get the loudest scream out of the man before he stands up. 

He looks down at the man lying in front of him and has no regret or remorse for what he just did. He feels satisfied… almost. 

Tony lifts up the face mask of his Iron Man suit and takes a step right between Ellis’ legs and presses down hard. He hears the loudest scream yet escape Ellis’s mouth and now Tony feels satisfied. 

He has no idea what kind of damage he did to the man’s penis by stepping on it but he’s sure that the damage just might be irreversible. 

“FRIDAY, call S.H.I.E.L.D and tell them that I’m bringing this man to the Raft.” Tony says into his earpiece. 

FRIDAY is quiet for a few seconds before speaking. “Boss, the face is unrecognizable and I am having trouble finding identification.” 

That makes Tony smile to himself as he lifts the man up by his broken arm, surprised that the man is still conscious, judging by the scream that escapes him. 

“I got you, FRI. His name is Allan Ellis and he is a child rapist” 

.  
.  
.

The ride to the Raft was enjoyable for Tony but excruciatingly painful for Ellis which made it all the more enjoyable for Tony. 

He purposely flew a lot less delicately than he usually does just because he wanted to make this man suffer even more. 

Tony flew into the opening of the Raft and dropped Ellis about ten feet in the air onto the hard ground as he landed next to the man’s body and stepped out of his suit. 

Everyone watched with wide eyes as Tony shook hands with the two men who walked towards him. “Mr. Stark, we heard you were coming with a… rapist.” 

Tony nodded his head as he stepped aside to let two guards drag Ellis away, probably to the medical wing to see if his penis would be worth salvaging. 

He then turned his attention back onto the two men. “Yes. I don’t want him ever leaving this place. Ever. Do you understand. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure he stays here.” 

The man nodded his head as he walked with Tony down the vestibule. “Well, you brought him to the right place.” 

“Good. I assume you’re bringing him to the medical wing?” Tony wanted to clarify. He knew he did a number on the man. 

“Yes, Mr. Stark. I can bring you if you’d like to see him?” Tony shook his head at the guards offer. 

“Nope. I’m good.” Tony shook his hand and then started turning to walk away but the guard called after him. 

“Who did he rape anyways?” The guard asked and Tony felt his blood boil. 

“Just get someone to call me and update me, will you.” At that, Tony got into his suit and flew out of the Raft. 

.  
.  
.

When Tony arrived back at the tower, FRIDAY immediately spoke up before Tony even got the chance to step out of his suit fully. 

“Boss, Peter is awake. He is in severe distress and is asking for you” FRIDAY announced. 

Tony jumped out of his suit as he ran into the elevator to get to his kid. “You can talk to me in my suit, why didn’t you?!” 

“May Parker suggested that I wait to tell you when you got back” FRIDAY explained and Tony wanted to punch something. He already beat the shit out of someone but he wanted to punch a wall now. 

When the elevator doors opened, Tony ran out and immediately ran to Peter’s bedroom where he heard whimpering and saw May standing at the edge of the bed. 

She immediately looked at Tony and walked over to him pointing to under the bed. “Tony, you’re here. Peter woke up from a nightmare and I tried to call him down but-but I think I only made it worse.” 

Tony walked past May and kneeled on the floor so he could look under the bed. He saw Peter lying on his back with his hands by his face. Peter turned his head to look over at Tony and slowly reached his hand out for him. 

“Hey, Pete. What are you doing under there? Can you come out now, bud, so I can see you?” Tony tried to say in a calm voice and tried not to let the panic show in him. 

Peter shook his head and pointed behind Tony. “May-Mays here. And I don’t want her to be.” 

Tony sat up on his knees and looked at May desperately. “Can you go for a few minutes, May? Just so I can talk to him and get him out of there.” 

May was already nodding her head and leaving the bedroom. Tony made sure that she was gone before leaning back down to look at Peter. 

“You know, kid,” Tony started. “You have a young, healthy body while I’m old so this position isn’t really all that comfortable for me. Can you come out and we can talk on the bed?”

Tony watched Peter think it over for a few seconds before nodding his head and sliding out from under the bed. 

Tony got up and sat on the bed so he could wait for Peter to emerge from under it. Once Peter did so, he stood there awkwardly until Tony lifted his arm up and Peter melted into his side and curled into a ball. 

“You lied” Peter said quietly. 

Tony felt himself tense at the statement before he relaxed again. He didn’t know that Peter would wake up while he was gone but he couldn’t have waited any longer. He did what he had to do. 

“I’m sorry.” Tony brushed Peter’s sweaty curls from off his face. He didn’t regret what he did, he just wishes he told Peter he would be leaving. 

Peter was silent for a few seconds. “It’s fine. Where did you go?”

“I had to make a call to Pepper to tell her I wouldn’t be going to work for awhile.” Tony lied and hoped that Peter believed it. 

“Oh. Okay.” Peter didn’t know what to say. He woke up from a nightmare and expected to see Tony there but instead it was the one person he didn’t want to see. May. 

And Tony was nowhere in sight so he freaked out and he didn’t know how to feel about that. 

Tony ran his hand through Peter’s curls again and then saw his hand for the first time. It was covered in blood. 

He immediately removed his hand from Peter’s hair and tried to get up gently so he didn’t wrestle Peter too much but since Peter was half lying on him it was hard to do so. 

Tony held his hands by his side as he stepped towards the bathroom. He saw the look of pure fear and betrayal written all over his kids face as he kept walking away from him. 

“I’m just gonna run to the bathroom quickly so you stay here… or go to your Aunt.” Tony said before he went into the bathroom and quickly shut the door. 

He looked at his hands that were covered in blood. No doubt both his and Ellis’. Tony hated that it took him up until this point to notice it and it was probably in his kids hair now. 

Tony ran the water from the tap and began trying to scrub the dried up blood off his hands. He watched the pink water run down the drain and then grabbed the soap to disinfect the area. 

Once all of the blood was gone, Tony held his hands up to look at them. He had busted up knuckles and wouldn’t be surprised if his finger was broken from the way it was bent. 

He couldn’t let Peter see his hands like this. 

As Peter watched Tony go into the bathroom so suddenly like that, he felt sick. 

The one person in this world that he trusts now hates him because he let his teacher rape him. Peter knows that Tony now knows that he’s dirty and he doesn’t want to be around him for that reason. 

Peter felt his eyes burn but he couldn’t stop the tears from falling out of his eyes and down his cheeks. Tony hated him now. Tony thought he was dirty and weak and he definitely didn’t want him around anymore so Peter made the decision to go home with May. 

As much as he hated it and as much as the thought of leaving Tony made him want to curl into a ball and cry until he got to see Tony again, he had to leave him. He didn’t want to burden the man. 

Peter flinched when the bathroom door opened then relaxed at seeing it was only Tony. Then that thought made him scared because pretty soon it won’t be ‘only Tony’ anymore. It’ll be May. Or his teacher coming to hurt him again. 

Tony walked over to the edge of the bed and grabbed Peter’s head to see if the blood got in his hair and it did. Tony cringed and let go because he hated that he put that in his kids hair. He needed Peter to shower so he didn’t have anymore of that man’s bodily fluids on him. 

Peter let out a whimper when Tony grabbed his head. He knew Tony was trying to be gentle but it didn’t work and now he didn’t even want to touch him because he was so dirty. 

“Pete, how about you go shower while I go talk to your Aunt?” Tony suggested. He knew Peter already showered but maybe this way he could get Peter to put more cream on and he could check his underwear as well as wash the blood out of his hair from Tony’s stupid mistake. 

Peter moved away from Tony because now he knew for sure that Tony didn’t want to touch him because he was dirty. Peter knew he was dirty. He felt dirty and now Tony knows that too and doesn’t even want to touch him just because of what happened. 

“I’m going home with May.” Peter looked away from Tony and said. He hated saying it but he had to leave. 

Tony felt like he had just been slapped in the face. 

“What? Why?” Tony asked. He wanted Peter to stay with him and he knew… he thought that’s what Peter wanted as well. 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Can you just leave me alone? Please.” 

As much as Tony wanted to argue with Peter, he didn’t. He wanted to give Peter his own choices but this was not one that he would be making for himself. Tony would make this choice for him. 

He walked out of Peter’s bedroom without saying anything else and walked into the living where May was sitting. She stood up and walked over to him. “I’m taking him home with me, Tony. He’s not staying here. He needs to come home with me.” 

Tony was not going to let that happen. He was about to lose it. “No! Peter is going to stay here with me and you’re going to leave. I’ll ask him if he wants to say bye to you but if he doesn’t then you leave and I’ll call you when he wants to see you.” 

May took a step back in shock and looked like she was about to argue but then he spotted Tony’s hands and tried to get a better look at them. 

“Tony… did you…?” May asked as if she already knew the answer. 

Tony put his hand down and looked at May desperately. “May, Peter stays with me. I’m not asking you.” 

“Tony-”

Tony cut May off. “No, I’m not arguing with you about this. Peter is my kid as much as he is yours and this is my say.” 

“Tony! Let’s at least go ask Peter what he wants to do” May suggested which Tony would have jumped at that idea because he thought that Peter wanted to stay with him but now he wasn’t so sure but he agreed anyways. 

“Alright. But I’m asking him. I’ll come back and tell you.” Tony said before making his way into Peter’s bedroom. 

His heart broke at the scene. Peter was lying in the middle of his bed in a ball while he silently cried and tried to be quiet. Tony sat down at the edge. 

He reached over to touch Peter’s leg but pulled his hand back at the last second. “Peter. I need to talk to you.” 

Peter stopped crying for a split second then he looked over at Tony slowly. Tony continued. 

“I want to know what you want to do, go with your Aunt or stay with me?” Tony watched as Peter shoved his face into the bed as he let out a loud sob. Tony sighed. 

“I’m-I’m going with M-May” Peter cried out but Tony wasn’t going to let that happen. No way. 

“Is that what you want?” Tony asked slowly. 

Peter didn’t shake his head or nod or anything. He was quiet for a few seconds before speaking. “No! It’s what you want. So I’ll go!”

“Peter. I don’t want that. I want you to stay here with me” Tony explained. He had no idea why Peter would ever think that he would want him to go. 

Peter sat up in bed. His face was all wet and blotchy and his eyes had dark circles and were bloodshot. “Yes you do! So I’m leaving because you w-want me to leave!”

Peter stood up and tried to walk towards the door but Tony grabbed his wrist and stopped him. “Peter. Please. I want you to stay. Why would I want you to leave?”

Peter tried to slap Tony’s hand away from him which ended up in him weakly slapping Tony on the chest with his free hand while he broke down. Tony tried to comfort Peter but it wasn’t working. 

“No! Get off! Get off of me. Let me g-go. Please” Peter begged and fell to his knees but Tony caught him and pulled him into his arms. 

He walked back towards the bed and pulled Peter onto his lap as he held him. Peter tried to fight him for a few seconds but he eventually gave up and went boneless in Tony’s arms as he cried against his shoulder. 

“Shh. Peter. It’s okay. I’m here. It’s okay now.” Tony whispered into his kids ear as he held him tighter. 

He felt Peter crying into his shoulder and soaking it with tears and snot but Tony didn’t care. As long as Peter was letting it all out and not holding in his emotions. 

“Don’t leave. Don’t leave me.” Peter said weakly as he tried to cling onto Tony. 

“I’m staying right here with you, buddy.” Tony pressed a kiss to Peter’s temple and held onto him tighter. 

They continued to stay like that for a few minutes longer and Tony wanted to hold onto Peter forever but he had to go tell May that Peter would be staying with him. 

He patted Peter’s leg gently. “I’m gonna go tell May that you’re staying with me and then I’ll come right back to you, okay? Do you want to say bye to her for now?”

Peter shook his head. “No. You do it.” 

Tony nodded his head against Peter’s and waited for him to get off of him and when he didn’t, Tony gently patted his leg again. “You’re gonna have to get off of me, bud. I’ll be right back.” 

Peter didn’t say anything as he slid off of Tony’s legs and watched him leave. He tried to feel happy that he was going to be staying with him but he couldn’t feel anything. 

Tony wanted to make this quick so he could get back to his kid that needed him. 

He walked into the living room where May was and as he approached her, he saw her face drop so he knew that she already had his answer. 

“He’s staying with you, isn’t he?” May asked and Tony nodded his head. 

“He is. It’s better this way, May” Tony put his hands in his pockets to hide the cuts on them. “I’m gonna be with him for awhile and I know you have work and you’re not going to be able to be with him and he just- he needs that support right now. Someone he can lean on and be there for him.” 

May put her head in her hands and Tony could tell that she was trying not to cry. “It’s just hard. He wants to be with you and not me. He doesn’t-he doesn’t even want to see me. You know, I raised him all by myself after Ben died and it was hard. He had all these questions that I didn’t know how to answer and I couldn’t help him but then-then you came into his life and I thought ‘hey a male figure in his life to give him the my body’s changing talk’ but I was wrong. Now you’re here taking care of him after-after he was raped. And I just… I can’t do it.” 

Tony knew how hard it was for May after Ben died since she had to deal with her husband's death but also raise a child at the same time and with no help. It took Tony awhile to really understand how hard it was for May to do it all on her own but he’s glad that he helped her. 

Especially now when both May and Peter need it the most. 

“May, like I said before, Peter’s my kid as much as he is yours. I’m gonna be there for him no matter what and I don’t want you thanking me because he’s mine as well.” Tony placed his hand over May’s, forgetting about his messed up hand for a few seconds but he didn’t care because she already saw it. 

May nodded and weakly smiled. “Okay. I know. Just… okay. Take care of him.” 

“You know I will.” Tony let go of May’s hand and wanted her to leave so he could go back to his kid now but she looked at his hands again. 

“Did you…?” May trailed off as she looked up at Tony. 

Tony knew what she was asking. “Did I kill the son of a bitch? No, I didn’t. That would have been too easy for him. He’s not going to go near Peter ever again.” 

“What did you do?” May asked with some reluctance in her voice. 

Tony didn’t want to tell her all the unnecessary but satisfying details. His hands told half the story themselves. “I brought him to the Raft. It’s property of S.H.I.E.L.D” 

May nodded her head. “Good. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna get back to Pete now” Tony announced. This conversation was taking way too long. 

“Okay, um, before you go I just want to tell you that I brought the um, his underwear and pants that I found under the bed and some women came up to take it.” May explained. Tony nodded his head because he forgot about that with everything else going on. “I just Uh, did you find out about the STDs at all? Does-does Peter have any?” 

Tony hung his head because he totally forgot to tell May about that as well. May seemed to have taken that as the wrong thing because she took a step back from Tony have covered her hands over her mouth in shock. “Oh god” 

“No. No, May. I’m sorry. He doesn’t have anything. He’s clean. His doctor that checked him out after… she called me and said that he was clean and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Tony felt like an idiot. He kept forgetting everything that was important. 

“Oh my god. Okay. Okay. That’s good I-that’s good” May placed her hand over her heart and took a few breaths. “Okay. I’m gonna go now but I just-please call me if anything happens or-or when he wants to see me.” 

“I will, May. I promise.” Tony watched May leave and then turned around to go and comfort Peter. 

He had no idea what to do but he knew he needed to be there for Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how many more chapters there’s gonna be now so I’m guessing like maybe about 3 but I’m not 100% just yet


	18. Where do I go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I haven’t written this fic in sooo long so I’m so sorry if this chapter is yikes

As Tony walked back into Peter’s bedroom, he tried to think about the best way to comfort the child. He knew that Peter loved, or used to live any sort of physical contact but now Tony wasn’t so sure that that was the best way to comfort Peter after what just happened. 

Tony pushed open the bedroom door and slowly walked in. He wanted Peter to shower first and wash his hair since Tony had accidentally rubbed both his and his rapist’s blood into his hair. 

Tony then thought about if he should be telling Peter what he did or not. He knew that he would eventually tell him one day but he wasn’t so sure if now was the best time to do that. Probably not. 

He walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. Peter had his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms were wrapped around himself as his head laid against his knees. Peter had his red rimmed eyes looking into Tony’s and Tony felt like he wanted to look away from his kid since his heart was breaking but he didn’t. 

“Is she gone?” Peter asked quietly. 

Tony nodded his head. “Yeah. She is. I told her that you’re not ready to see her and speak to her just yet.” 

Peter let out a sigh. “I never want to see her again.” He admitted. He felt bad for thinking and feeling that way but he just didn’t want to talk to May after everything that happened. He felt that it was her fault in a way, even though he knows it’s only his own fault for not telling anyone sooner since he could have stopped things when it was just touching but he didn’t and now he’s a victim of rape. 

Peter curled in on himself more as Tony spoke. “That’s fine if you don’t want to, kid. No one is rushing you.” 

Peter only nodded his head so Tony changed the subject. “How about you go in the shower then we can watch a movie together. Sound good?” 

Peter flinched. He knew Tony only wanted him to shower because Tony knew he was dirty and he didn’t want to touch him. Part of Peter wanted Tony to leave him alone but a stronger part of him needed the man to stay. 

“I don’t want to.” Peter said. 

“You’ll feel better after you do.” Tony tried to say. He knew that Peter for some reason was terrified of actually going in the shower now and he also wanted to stop that fear before it progresses and gets even worse. “I can wait in here if you want me too.” 

Peter thought about that for a few seconds. He really didn’t want to leave Tony’s sight but if Tony would stay close by then maybe he could shower quickly. 

Tony could see that Peter was thinking about it so he stood up, hoping that it would make Peter follow him. “Shower please. I’m gonna go turn it on for you and I’ll wait wherever you want me too.” 

Tony left Peter’s sight as he walked into the bathroom and turned on the water to an appropriate temperature. When he went to walk back into the bedroom, he saw Peter standing at the entrance with his hair sticking up in every direction. If it was any other situation, Tony would have ran his fingers through the kids hair but him doing that was the reason for this shower in the first place. 

“I’ll get you some clean clothes to put in after, bud.” Tony told Peter as he walked past him to go into the bedroom. 

Peter really didn’t want to shower but he didn’t feel like arguing with Tony about it. He was exhausted and felt used. 

He pushed the bathroom door shut halfway so that he could still get to Tony if he needed him or Tony could get to him quickly. Peter avoided the mirror since he knew he looked awful. He could feel the skin under his eyes peeled off from all the crying that he had been doing. Most of the time, Peter wasn’t even sure he was crying since he was so used to it by now. It’s all he’s been doing for over a week now and he wasn’t sure when it was going to get any better. 

Peter took off his top and then pulled down his underwear and pants before getting into the shower. The water did feel good on his skin. It was nice to feel even just a little bit cleaner so that he didn’t feel his teachers touches lingering on his skin. It was still there but it was slowly going away. 

Peter grabbed the shampoo bottle and poured some onto his hands so he could wash his hair. Maybe then Tony would actually want to touch him. 

While Tony was waiting for Peter to get out of the shower, he grabbed some clean pyjamas for him. The pants were LEGO Star Wars and the top matched with the bottoms. Tony remembers when he bought Peter the pyjama set and how happy he was to wear them to their avengers movie night but now he couldn’t even picture doing that with a happy and excited Peter ever again. 

Tony pushed those thoughts out of the way for now since he had to focus on getting Peter clean clothes and the cream that Dr. Robbins gave him. Once Tony had everything, he gently knocked on the bathroom door that was half open. “Hey, Pete. It’s just me. I’m gonna put your pyjamas and cream on the counter.” 

“O-okay. I’m um, done now.” Peter said and Tony heard the shower turn off so he walked back out and lied down on the bed with a sigh. 

He was exhausted and completely lost with what to do. He wasn’t sure if he should hire a therapist for Peter so he could get the help that he needs since Tony isn’t sure that he’s what Peter really needs. 

He looked up after a few minutes and saw Peter walk out into the bedroom. His hair was all wet and Tony smiled weakly at him. He hated how he was the one to put Peter through all of that just because of his own needs and wanting to run his hand through the kids hair. 

“Wanna go watch a movie now?” Tony asked and Peter shrugged his shoulders which was a yes. He got off the bed with a groan and went to walk towards the door but Peter wasn’t following him so he held his arm up in an invitation for Peter to lean against him but Peter didn’t move. “Peter?” 

Peter hugged his arms around his stomach. “You don’t want me to go near you.” 

Tony had no idea where that was coming from. “What are you talking about, Peter?”

Tony watches as Peter’s face scrunched up. “I-you w-wanted me to-to shower because you-you think I’m dirty. And you don’t even want to touch me.” At the end of his explanation, Peter let out a loud sob and fell down to his knees on the floor. 

Tony couldn’t bare to watch his kid break down in front of him. “Peter,” He rushed to his kids side and kneeled down next to him on the floor. “Peter. That’s not true. Why would you think that? I don’t think you’re dirty at all, Peter. I promise you. I just… I wanted you to shower because I wanted you to feel better and clean. I wanted you to get out of bed and feel refreshed.” 

Tony felt horrible for lying about that but it was partly the truth. Just not the whole truth. 

Tony then gently guided Peter’s head so that it was in his chest. He felt Peter’s tears soaking his shirt as he clung tightly onto him. Tony held Peter back just as tightly. 

“I just-I just thought t-that because of-of what happened then you wouldn’t have wanted to-to touch me.” Peter explained through his sobs that he was trying to hold in. 

“You’re not dirty, Peter. I don’t want you to ever think that.” Tony wanted just words to stick to Peter since they were true. His words were 100% true and he needed Peter to believe that. He then remembered the news from the doctor that he forgot to tell Peter and Tony thought that this would be the best time to tell him. “Can I tell you something, bud?” 

Peter nodded his head. Tony spoke. “So, I got a call from Dr. Robbins and she said that all your tests are negative. That’s a good thing.” 

Peter didn’t react the way Tony thought he was going to and then Tony thought that it’s either Peter doesn’t care or he doesn’t know exactly how dangerous sexually transmitted diseases can be. He’s glad that he doesn’t have to explain any of that to the kid. 

Tony tugged on Peter’s arm. “Can we go watch a movie? Are you up for it?” Tony really wanted Peter to sit with him where he knew he was safe plus he wanted to try and get Peter’s mind off of things. 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. I don’t care.” 

Tony would take that. He led Peter out of his bedroom and into the living room where he sat down onto the couch and tugged Peter down to sit next to him. “I’ll let you pick.” 

Peter let out a sigh as he put his head on Tony’s shoulder and fisted the front of Tony’s shirt. Tony didn’t say anything about the action as he waited for Peter to respond to him. “Um… maybe we can watch a Disney movie or something.” 

Peter didn’t care what they watched. It didn’t matter anyways since he knew his teacher would hurt him again once he goes back to school on Monday. Nothing mattered anymore and it never will. 

“You heard him, FRI. Play a Disney movie.” Tony said as the lights automatically lowered and he put his feet up on the coffee table in front of them. Tony hated how he felt like he was acting like nothing happened. He didn’t want to downplay what happened since it was a huge deal and he needed Peter to understand that. 

The movie Frozen started playing but neither of them were paying attention to it. 

Tony was more focused on what to do about Peter. He desperately wanted things to go back to the way they used to be before the past week but he didn’t want to push Peter in any way or make Peter think that what happened to him wasn’t a big deal. 

While Peter was trying not to freak out and start crying over the fact that in just a few more days, the weekend would be over and he would be going back to school on Monday and back into his teachers classroom. Peter wasn’t so sure he would be able to do that again but maybe Tony wouldn’t send him. It was out there in the open now, right? 

Elsa had just finished singing her song in the castle, Let It Go and Peter couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He felt that the song was hitting too deep and he wasn’t ready to just shove everything that happened in the past just yet since it had just happened and he literally still felt everything. Peter let out a sob and pulled away from Tony. 

He sat up fully and stood on shaky legs. “I don’t want to watch this anymore. I want to be alone.” 

Peter then made a beeline for his bedroom, leaving Tony sitting there feeling useless. 

When Peter got to his bedroom, he shut his bedroom door and started pacing back and forth in the room as he tugged on his hair. 

He just wanted all the pain to stop and for everything to just go away. It was too much. It was all too much. 

Peter sunk down to his knees and leaned against his dresser. How did his life get so fucked up in such a short amount of time?

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Peter knew who that was. It was Tony but Peter didn’t want to talk to Tony right now. He didn’t know why he had cried for the man so much this past week but now he just really didn’t want to be with him at all. He wanted to be by himself. 

“Go away!” Peter cried out when there was another knock at the door. 

“Peter. Please.” Tony opened the door and stood by it as he looked at Peter. 

He was lying on his back on the floor with his legs bent in front of him as his hands covered his face. Without even seeing his face, Tony knew he looked exhausted. 

“Peter-”

“No! I want you to leave! I just want to be a-alone right n-n-now. Please!” Peter sobbed. Tony’s heart was breaking but he didn’t want to leave his kid like that. 

“I just want to help you, Peter.” Tony begged. 

“No. You can’t help me! No one can because-because everything that… happened and now, everything hurts and I just want you to leave.” Peter removed his hands from his face and turned his head to look over at Tony with bloodshot eyes. 

“Okay.” Tony said reluctantly. He didn’t want to leave but if that’s what Peter wanted then he wouldn’t stay. God knows the kid had been forced to do awful things that he didn’t want to do all week. “I’m here if you need me, Peter.” 

Peter watched Tony leave. He waited for the door to shut before he broke down again. 

.  
.  
.

More than three hours later, Tony went to check on Peter. 

He had spent the whole time in his lab doing absolutely nothing. His mind has been focused on Peter and what he was doing and if he was okay but he didn’t want to invade his privacy. He knew that FRIDAY would alert him if Peter was in danger or couldn’t calm himself down without help. 

He just had to sit and wait for Peter to come to him but after three hours of nothing, Tony decided to go up and see what was going on. 

When he got to Peter’s bedroom, Tony knocked on the door softly and when there was no answer, he tried not to panic as he quickly opened it. 

Tony’s eyes immediately went to the last place he saw Peter and there he was. He was lying on his back with his arms above his head and one leg was bent against the dresser in front of him while the other leg was stretched out. 

Tony quietly walked over to him and kneeled down. He could see the dried tear stains on Peter’s cheeks but they were also running down into his hair since he was lying on his back. 

He wanted to brush his curls off his face but Tony didn’t want to risk waking him up since he knew that once Peter woke up, that meant more pain, fresh memories and tears. 

Tony decided to sit with Peter until he woke up. He sat down next to Peter’s legs and leaned against the dresser. 

Another hour passed by and at this point, Tony’s butt had gone numb and he was starting to fall asleep himself but then Peter was stretching his legs out and letting out a whine as he rolled onto his stomach and curled into a ball. 

Peter started whimpering so Tony patted his lower back from where he could reach. “Pete. Wake up, bud. I’m here.” 

Peter flinched but stopped whimpering and looked over at Tony then he started whimpering again and slowly moved closer to him. “Are you okay?” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders so Tony held his arm out and waited for Peter to collapse into him. Once Peter was in his arms, Tony began rocking them both back and forth to try and calm him down just a bit. 

He could feel Peter’s body shaking against him and Peter’s tears were soaking the front of his shirt but Tony didn’t mind any of it as he kept rocking them both back and forth. 

After a few minutes, Tony spoke. “I want you to know that I may not understand what you’re going through but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be here for you, Peter. I will help you with whatever you need no matter what, okay? I want you to know that.” 

Tony looked down and couldn’t see Peter’s face since he was looking down. “Peter? Talk to me, bud.” Tony pressed on and shook Peter a bit. 

Peter loved how Tony was there for him but he didn’t know how to talk to him or what to say. He wanted to say so much but at the same time he didn’t want to talk about anything just yet. Maybe not ever. 

He nodded his head anyways. “O-okay. I know.” 

Tony smiled weakly to himself. “Okay then. Good.” 

Nothing was said between the two for a few more minutes. Tony continued to hold Peter in his arms and gently rock the two side to side while Peter was content and made no move to move away from him. Tony was grateful for that. 

At least for now he could offer Peter just a bit of comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked that:) I’m soooo sorry for how short it was omg and after almost a month with no update and this is what I give you guys:( I’m so sorry but I’ve been extremely busy with work and other fics but my plan is to write this fic all week:)


	19. I really don’t know what to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back with another chapter!! Ahhh I hope you guys like this but make sure to read all the tags again just in case:)

Peter was sitting at the kitchen counter with a now cold plate of macaroni and cheese. 

Tony had dragged him out to the kitchen after he cried on the man for almost an hour in his bedroom. Peter knew that Tony really wanted him to eat but he just wasn’t feeling like eating and he didn’t want to do things he didn’t want just to please other people. Even if it was Tony. 

Peter put his head on the cold counter and stabbed his fork into the macaroni and cheese repeatedly until Tony walked up behind him and grabbed the fork from him. 

“Stop that please.” Tony said as he sat down in the chair next to Peter who was now giving him a dirty look. Tony placed the fork back in the bowl and looked at his kid. “Why aren’t you eating?” 

“Not hungry.” Peter lied. He was actually very hungry but for some reason the thought of eating made him feel sick and he just didn’t want to eat anything. 

Tony sighed. “Nope. Try again. I know you’re hungry because you haven’t eaten anything in hours.” 

Tony pushed the bowl towards Peter but he pushed it away from himself. “I said I’m not hungry and you can’t force me to eat.” Peter said with a little more anger in his voice. 

“No I can’t and I’m not going to force you to do anything that you don’t want to do.” Tony knew that forcing Peter to do anything he didn’t want to do wouldn’t help his healing process one bit. “But I do need you to eat something.” 

Peter thought about it but he felt like protesting and picking a fight. “No. I said I’m not hungry so how ‘bout you eat it.” 

Tony tried not to lose his patience. “Peter. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I need you to eat something, okay? Even just a few bites.” 

Tony put a pile of macaroni and cheese onto the fork and passed it to Peter. He watched as the wheels turned in the kids head and soon he was slowly reaching out for the fork and grabbing it to take a bite. 

Sighing with relief, Tony watched and waited patiently as Peter continued to eat a few more bites. It was painfully slow but he was grateful that Peter was eating something. 

Once Peter was done, he didn’t finish his bowl or even get close to it but Tony didn’t want to push it. He was glad that Peter are what he did. 

“I’m gonna clean up the kitchen, bud, so do you want to get ready for bed while I do this?” Tony asked patiently. He could see that Peter was thinking about it so he waited to let him think. 

Peter just wanted to sleep but sleeping meant being away from Tony and despite what he wanted before, now being away from Tony was the last thing that he wanted. “Um… can-can I sleep with you? Just… for um, tonight.” 

Tony paused with what he was doing. He didn’t want to make it seem that he didn’t want Peter to sleep with him but he wasn’t expecting that answer so it caught him a bit off guard. 

“Yeah, bud. If that’s what you want then you can.” Tony said as he grabbed the bowl from Peter and dumped the uneaten food into the garage and placed the bowl in the sink. 

Peter sighed in relief. At least now he could sleep and hopefully have no nightmares. 

Peter slid off the kitchen stool and made his way to his bedroom to get changed. He had just showered so he wouldn’t need to do that again, which he was thankful for since he really didn’t want to have to do that again. 

He grabbed some clean pyjamas and changed into them as quickly as he could before making his way to Tony’s bedroom but once Peter was about to turn the corner to go into his bedroom, he suddenly stopped and felt self-conscious about himself. 

Part of Peter knew that Tony felt obligated to let him sleep in his bed with him. Peter knew that there was actually no way that Tony would actually want him to sleep with him but Peter tried not to think about that. He was exhausted and wanted to have just one night where he could sleep without feeling like he was going to wake up screaming or have a panic attack. 

He wanted to have one night where he felt safe. 

So Peter took a calming breath and turned the corner to the bedroom. He saw Tony sitting on one side of the bed with the nightstand lamp on while he was reading something on his phone, Peter guessed it had something to do with some emails or something. 

Tony looked up at the door at Peter and smiled weakly at him. He patted the bed beside him. “Come, kid. You look tired.” 

Peter was exhausted but he still didn’t make a move. He was starting to regret coming into Tony’s bedroom to begin with and he had no idea why. 

“Peter.” Tony could sense that Peter was having second thoughts and may want to possibly go to his own bedroom. Tony would 100% allow him to do what he wanted to do but he also really wanted Peter to sleep with him because Tony knew that Peter would sleep better that way and Tony knew that he would too. “It’s okay, buddy. You’re okay.” 

Peter slowly nodded his head. The reassurance was nice. It felt good. 

He took a step forward and got to the bed then he carefully crawled on it and moved to the spot where Tony had previously patted. 

He felt content and… safe. Which was something that he hadn't felt in a really long time. It was nice but part of Peter knew that it wasn’t going to last. 

He felt his eyes get heavy and his body start to shut down with sleep. He was so freaking exhausted and now with Tony here with him, all he wanted to do was sleep. 

Tony wasn’t sure how to react in this kind of situation or what to do. He wanted to move Peter closer to him so that he could hold him but he didn’t know if Peter would respond well to the touch. 

Peter tried to get more comfortable on the bed without actually moving all that much so that he didn’t make Tony upset or annoyed with his movements. Once Peter was able to get a bit more comfortable, he pulled the blankets up to his face and turned to look up at Tony who had been watching him the whole time, Peter looked away. 

“Go to sleep, Pete. You’re safe here.” Tony said as he put his phone on the nightstand table and turned off the lamp so that it was pitch black in the room now. 

Peter shot you in bed once the lights went out. He felt his heart beating all too quickly for his liking. “Wait! No! Turn the light on. It’s too dark.” 

Tony didn’t have time to think about why Peter was freaking out since he was quickly turning the light back on and then looking at Peter who looked terrified. 

“Peter. It’s okay. It’s just us here and it’s gonna be just us here so don’t worry.” Tony wanted to bring Peter in for a hug but he wasn’t sure how Peter would react to that and the last thing he wanted right now was to freak him out even more than he already was. 

Peter nodded his head and tried to calm himself down. He hated how Tony saw him freak out over being in the dark but he didn’t care all that much anymore. He knows that Tony’s now seem a lot worse. 

“O-okay. Just-just… stay.” Peter said quietly and Tony could barely hear him. 

“I will.” Tony smiled weakly. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.” 

.  
.  
.

Peter jerked himself awake. 

At first he wasn’t sure what was waking him up. He hasn’t had a nightmare which was nice since that was all he was used to him along up from for the past week. But then he suddenly felt something very familiar between his legs and under his body. He had wet the bed. He had wet Tony’s bed with the man in it and now he wasn’t sure what to do. 

Peter slowly sat up, cringing when he felt the wetness underneath his lower half. He wished he was alone. For the first time in a long time, not including when he fell asleep on his bedroom floor in the tower, he wished he was alone so that Tony didn’t have to see what a complete baby he was. A useless, pathetic baby. 

He let a whimper escape his lips but then covered his hand over his mouth to try and stop it from happening again and waking Tony up. 

Peter tried to figure out what to do but he couldn’t think. His mind seemed like it was stuffed with nothing but the fear of Tony finding out what he had done. 

Peter couldn’t stop the next whimper that escaped his mouth, it was a lot louder than the last one and so after that, Peter felt Tony shift in the bed, possibly meaning that he was awake. 

“Hmm? Peter?” Tony asked. Yep. Definitely awake. 

“I’m sorry.” Peter said quietly. Maybe this was all just a horrible nightmare that would soon be over. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Tony sat up more fully now and reached over to turn the lamp on. It took awhile for his eyes to adjust but once they did, he looked over at Peter and saw the tear streaks on the kids face and the way his body was shaking. 

Tony’s first thought was that Peter had a nightmare so he leaned over to lay a gentle hand on Peter’s arm but the kid jerked away from him. “Peter. What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” Tony asked patiently. 

Peter shook his head. He slowly looked up and met Tony’s eyes before looking away from him. He could feel the itching on his lower half and wanted to get out of the bed immediately but he still didn’t want Tony to find out. Since he knew that Tony was going to be finding out one way or another, Peter decided to bite the bullet. 

“Um… I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean-mean to but…” He trailed off, hoping he didn’t have to say it. “I just, I wet… the bed. I’m so s-sorry, Tony.” 

Tony nodded in understanding. He didn’t know why he didn’t expect that since he was aware of Peter’s recent nighttime accidents. He tried to quickly think about how he was going to go about this situation. 

“That’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Tony said as he moved to get off the bed so he could change the sheets while Peter showered but Peter looked at him in fear when he got off the bed. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m just getting off to change the sheets while you go get washed up.” 

Peter tried to read Tony. He knew Tony wouldn’t have been mad at him but he still thought that maybe maybe Tony didn’t really want him to be his responsibility and his problem and that this may have been the last straw before Tony kicked him out and sent him back to Mays. 

“Please don’t be mad. I’m-I’m sorry.” Peter looked down in shame and embarrassment. 

Tony stopped what he was doing. “Peter. I promise you I’m not mad. It’s okay and I’m here for you, kid. I am and I need you to understand that.” 

Tony really needed Peter to understand that he was always going to be there for him. No matter what. What happened to Peter was absolutely horrible and Tony barely had any more words to describe how he felt about the whole thing but he would be there for Peter. No matter what. 

Peter nodded his head. He wanted to believe it. 

“Go into the bathroom and wash up while I clean this up then I’ll bring you some clean pyjamas.” Tony said softly, not demanding but more of a suggestion. 

Thankfully, Peter slowly nodded his head and slid off the bed. Tony purposely turned his body away to give Peter some privacy as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. 

Tony quickly stripped the bed, putting the bedding that got the pee on it into a pile and trying to dry the mattress. He then grabbed the dirty bedding and carried it into the laundry room, putting it immediately into the wash and then walking into Peter’s bedroom to get him his cream and some clean pyjamas. 

When he got back to his bedroom, he knocked on the bathroom door and waited for a response. “Peter? I have some clean clothes for you.” 

“Um… o-okay.” Came the small response. 

“I’m just gonna come in to place it on the bathroom counter for you.” Tony said and after waiting for a confirmation, he opened the door and placed the items on the bathroom counter then he left the bathroom. 

It took a long twenty minutes for Peter to exit the bathroom which Tony took that time to remake the bed and sit on it while looking at his phone. To be honest, he wasn’t tired anymore and he knew that he wasn’t going to go back to bed that night. It was just past 4am so it was just going to be a long day. 

When Peter walked out of the bathroom, he stood awkwardly by the edge of the bed. Tony waited forever him to say something and when nothing was said, he spoke instead. “Do you want to try and get some more sleep or are we up for the day?” 

Peter thought it over. He was still really tired but he was used to feeling tired so he decided on staying awake. “I don’t want to go back to bed.” 

Tony was okay with that answer. He knew Peter should be sleeping some more but he also knew that Peter wouldn’t want to go back to bed after what happened. “Okay. Want to watch a movie together?” 

Peter shook his head. He didn’t feel like doing anything other than possibly just going down to the lab to take his mind off of his racing thoughts. “Can we um, can we maybe go down to the lab?” 

Tony smiled at that. He didn’t think Peter would want to be going down to the lab anytime soon but then again, him and Peter where a lot alike in many ways and that’s exactly where he would want to go whenever he felt sad or angry about something. Especially after he came back from Afghanistan. 

“Absolutely. I don’t mind that at all.” Tony said with excitement and he was actually excited about that. 

Hopefully Peter could get his mind off of things for a few hours. 

.  
.  
.

It was almost 9am and Tony and Peter has been working in the lab ever since Peter’s accident. 

Tony kept a close eye on Peter as he sat at his work table and played around with some wires. He tried not to make it obvious that he was watching Peter but he didn’t fully trust him to be working on the lab just yet. He knew Peter’s mind wasn’t all there and that he was focused on other things so he watched him closely just so Peter doesn’t make a mistake. 

Tony had been working on some simple coding just to get it out of the way since he had to do it one way or another and he really didn’t want to get into anything too complicated right now. His main focus was Peter. 

His phone rang loudly throughout the lab which caused Tony to jerk in surprisement and Peter to jerk in fear. 

Peter immediately looked up at the sudden noise and his first instinct was to get up and make his way over to Tony which he did without even really noticing that he was doing it. 

Tony then picked his vibrating phone off of the metal table and saw who was calling. It was the Raft which he needed to answer and talk to them about some important holding information regarding his kids rapist. 

“Pete, it’s okay. I just need to answer this and I might be awhile so could you go get something to eat upstairs and I’ll be up soon?” Tony asked because he didn’t want to force his kid to do anything that he didn’t want to do. 

Peter really didn’t want to leave but if Tony didn’t want him there right now then he wouldn’t stay. “Um, okay. I’ll be upstairs then.” 

Peter turned and reluctantly left. 

He felt so exposed and alone now that Tony was gone and all he wanted to do was run back down to the lab and be with the man. He knew he couldn’t do that though, Tony clearly didn’t want him there. 

Peter walked into the kitchen like Tony told him to do. He wasn’t hungry at all and he really didn’t feel like eating a big meal but maybe if he munched in something small just to make Tony happy that he was actually eating something. That’s what Tony wanted after all. 

Peter began opening up the cabinets to try and find some snacks. He knew where everything was but he opened up one of the cabinets that was higher up. He had to climb on the counter to get to it, he hasn’t opened up that one before so he had no idea what was inside. 

He opened it up and saw that it was Tony’s alcohol cabinet. Peter’s first reaction was to immediately close it but then he thought about having some. 

He’s never been drunk before and hasn’t even had a sip of alcohol before but he knew that people often drank when they were upset about something or when their life was falling apart just to forget everything and feel good. 

Peter wanted to try it. Tony wasn’t in the room so he couldn’t stop him plus he would understand, right? 

Peter remembers when Ben died and there was a point in time where May would drink every single night and then cry herself to sleep in the bathroom. He doesn’t necessarily want to cry himself to sleep in a bathroom but if it could help him feel nothing then he wanted it. 

He grabbed one of the many bottles, feeling that it was basically full and he held onto it. He was still on the counter, sitting on his knees as he opened the bottle and took a sniff. It felt awful. It smelt like rubbing alcohol and it burned his nostrils but hopefully it’ll get the job done. 

Just as he was raising the bottle to take a sip, there were hands under his arms pulling him down as he heard Tony’s voice. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

Tony did not like what he was seeing. His kid on top of the kitchen counter, digging in his alcohol cabinet as he was about to take his first sip of alcohol. No fucking way. 

As soon as he was close enough, Tony grabbed Peter and ripped him off of the counter, sending the bottle of alcohol flying onto the floor and shattering. 

Peter immediately felt tears burn his eyes but now so was the smell from the broken bottle. “I’m s-s-sorry. Tony. I’m s-sorry!” 

“What were you thinking?” Tony asked with anger written all over his face. He was wearing shoes but Peter wasn’t so he stepped over the broken glass, still stepping in it and grabbed Peter by the arm. “Get out of here.” 

As Tony watched Peter run away, he immediately felt bad and regretted being so hard on him. He was hated walking up and seeing Peter on top of the counter about to drink alcohol because all Tony could see was Peter getting drunk and realizing that he loves the feeling then he’s following in his own footsteps and eventually the alcohol doesn’t feel so good anymore so Peter will turn to drugs. 

He would not let that happen. 

It took Tony quite a while to clean up all the glass and alcohol. He didn’t want to miss any pieces just in case Peter accidentally stepped on some. 

Once he was done, he sighed and went to go find his kid but he wasn’t even sure if Peter even wanted to see him. Tony found him lying on the couch. 

He was curled into a ball and there was a blanket over his body. Tony day next to him but not too close just in case Peter didn’t want to see or talk to him. 

“Peter. I’m sorry for freaking out at you.” Tony started. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way and I’m sorry. I was just so scared when I saw you about to take a sip.” 

Peter’s body shook under the blanket with a sob. Tony had scared him and he hated his reaction. 

“Please look at me. I’m not mad at you, Pete. I was just so scared. Look at me.” Tony spoke softly. He decided to place his hand over Peter’s back which was responded with a jerk but no pushing or moving away from the contact so he kept his hand there. 

Peter slowly removed the blanket from over his head and turned on his side so he could look at Tony with his red rimmed eyes. “I didn’t take a sip. I’m s-sorry.” 

Tony’s eyes softened. “I just don’t want to see you doing that again. I’m locking that cabinet. I mean it but I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you, okay? I’m not, I was just scared.” 

Tony would 100% be putting a lock of some sort of lock on the cabinet so that Peter couldn’t get into it again. Not that he thought that Peter would do that again but just in case. He would rather be safe than sorry. 

.  
.  
.

Tony has no plans on sending Peter to school anytime soon. 

He knew that it would take much longer than a weekend for Peter to recover enough to want to go back to school and Tony would not force him or rush him until he was fully ready to go back. Whether it be on one week or one month. Tony would be patient for his kid. 

Although Peter didn’t know that. 

He thought that Tony was going to send him to school the next day, which would be Monday morning and he was freaking out. 

Tony had sent him to bed early since he’d basically been up since four in the morning that day. Peter wanted to ask to sleep with Tony again that night but he didn’t want to be annoying and annoy the man who was already doing so much for him. 

Also after everything that happened that day, from the wetting Tony’s bed to almost taking a sip of alcohol and then the movies that Tony sat and watched with him until he forced dinner down, Peter was sure that Tony was tired of him and so Peter refused to ask to sleep with him even though he wanted to so badly. 

Now, Peter was freaking out. 

It was just past six in the morning and he barely slept at all. He knew that Tony was going to walk into his bedroom at any second and wake him up to start getting him ready for school and he was not ready for it at all. 

He barely slept so his eyes felt heavy and his body felt really weak. Peter rolled onto his stomach and cried into his pillow. He couldn’t go back to school and see his teacher after what he did to him. 

Peter didn’t think that he could handle it physically but also mentally. He would rather get hit by a car and killed on impact than go back into that classroom and let his teacher have his way with his body once again. 

Peter sat up in his knees and tagged as he coughed on nothing. He tried to take a breath of air into his lungs but nothing was coming in which caused his vision to blur and feel like he was going to pass out. 

He sat fully up on his knees, straightening his back to try and allow the air to get in but nothing was working. All he could think about was his teacher standing over him and Peter wanted to vomit. 

He was sure that he would have thrown up right then and there if there was actually food in his stomach that was more than just a few spoonfuls of soup. 

“Peter, you are having a severe panic attack and per my protocol, I have to call Boss to come and help you breathe.” FRIDAY announced that Peter felt extremely grateful for. 

He tried to say something in return. Anything. But nothing was coming out. He felt like he was seconds away from passing out. 

Seconds or hours later, Peter wasn’t sure, Tony was opening his bedroom door and walking into his bedroom. 

Tony saw Peter kneeling on his bed, facing his bed frame with his back to him and he could see his body shaking like he heard Peter struggling to take in a breath of air. 

He would have thought that Peter was choking if FRIDAY hadn’t told him that it was in fact a severe panic attack that his kid was having. 

Tony rushed to his side and dragged Peter to hit feet so he had more grounding and control over himself. He held onto Peter since if he didn’t, he was sure that Peter would crumble to his knees again. “Peter. Look at me. You need to breathe. You’re okay, you’re safe and I’m here. Breathe, Peter.” 

Peter sounded like he was actually choking and Tony was tempted to start the Heimlich maneuver on him but FRIDAY had confirmed again that Peter was not in fact choking on anything. 

“Peter.” Tony said desperately to try and get Peter to look at him. He had tears running down his cheeks but Tony didn’t wipe them away since he was more focused on trying to get Peter to breathe air into his lungs. 

“Peter, copy me. In one breath and out.” Tony made exaggerated breaths and waited for Peter to copy him then he continued to repeat the breathing, in and out for Peter. 

It took a few long minutes but Peter eventually calmed down enough where Tony knew that he wasn’t in danger of passing out. 

He pulled Peter to his chest and sat down on the bed with Peter on his lap. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” Tony repeated to him, softly in his ear. 

“I don-I don’t wan-want to go to-to s-s-school.” Peter cried out and cling onto Tony’s shirt tighter. He felt his cheeks soaked with tears and Tony’s shirt was probably getting wet with his tears as well but Peter didn’t care. He couldn’t stop crying. 

Tony was not expecting that. He hadn’t expected Peter to think that he was going to go to school so soon after everything that had happened. “Peter, you’re not going to school. Not today. Not anytime soon.” 

Tony waited for Peter to say something and when he didn’t, he spoke again. “You’re not going to go to school, buddy. Why did you think I was even going to consider sending you to school so soon?” 

Peter felt relieved. He could actually feel a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders and he let out a loud sob in response. He clung onto Tony even tighter. 

“Peter?” Tony asked again and tried to pry Peter’s face away from his shoulder so he could look at him. “Are you feeling lightheaded? Talk to me.” 

Peter shook his head. He wanted to talk to Tony but he seemed to be having a problem with getting the words out of his mouth. 

“I-I didn’t, I thought that y-you were goin’ to send me to-to s-school.” Peter stuttered out and leaned his head against Tony’s chest so he could listen to his heartbeat. 

“I would never do that, Pete.” Tony felt awful because the fact that Peter even thought that he would be sending him to school was making him sick. 

Peter nodded his head. “I-I just… not yet. I don’t want to um… see-see my-my teacher and-” 

Tony cut Peter off. “You’re never going to see him again, Peter. I can promise you that.” 

Peter nodded his head but he still wasn’t getting it. “O-okay. But-but the next time I go to s-school. I don’t want to see, um, him.” 

Tony has no idea what Peter was thinking. Did Peter actually think that his teacher was still living his happy life at home like he hadn’t just raped a fifteen year old boy and that he was going to go back to school that day and possibly rape the same boy again. Tony knew that Peter knew he was a powerful man but why the fuck would Peter just think that he would let his rapist roam around Queens and live his life after what he did. 

“Peter. Listen to me.” Tony slid Peter off of his lap because he wanted to look his kid in the eyes while he told him this. He ignored the tiny whimper that escaped Peter mouth at the loss of physical contact. 

“Your… teacher,” Tony hated calling him that. That wasn’t Peter’s teacher, that was a monster who took his kids innocents away. “he’s never going to lay a hand on you ever again and you’re never going to see him ever again. Do you understand me?” 

Peter wiped a few tears off his face and nodded even though he was a bit confused. 

Tony wanted to wait to tell Peter this but he decided that now was the best time. “The night that May came, I went to Ellis’ house.” 

Peter was confused. He didn’t say anything just yet since he wanted to wait and see what Tony had to say. 

“I went to his house and I… talked to him a bit then I flew him to the Raft.” Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Peter about the fact that he beat the guy until he was unrecognizable but he decided he would tell that part when Peter was a bit older or at least in a better mental state. 

Peter tried to take that all in. He was sure that Tony did more than just talk to his… talk to Ellis but he didn’t know how to feel about everything. “So-so he’s not- he’s in there forever then? He’s not- he’s not going to hurt me again?” 

Tony shook his head and placed a comforting hand on Peter’s ankle. “No. He’s not going to hurt you again. He’s stuck in there forever now.” 

Peter broke down at that. He felt like all he was doing nowadays was crying while Tony held him but maybe that was the best way for him to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is almost over omg!!


	20. Maybe I’ll never be who I was before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and this fic is done omg!!!

It’s been a week since the rape happened. 

Tony has seen a lot of improvement with Peter but it was always one step forward and then two steps back. 

After he had told Peter that his teacher was locked away in the Raft and that he wasn’t going to hurt him again, Peter seemed to have a hard time believing that. 

Tony would think that he was okay for the most part but then Peter would ask where his teacher was and if he was going to hurt him again. Tony knew that Peter needed and liked the reassurance that Ellis was locked up for good and that he wasn’t going to him again. 

He would tell Peter again and again if it meant that it would help him heal in the right direction. 

Peter seemed to cling onto him every chance he got. Tony had to go for a meeting a few days after he told Peter the news about the Raft and Peter had a complete break down over it and cling onto Tony like his life depended on it so Tony decided to stay. There was no way he could leave Peter begging for him to stay like that. 

His bed wetting didn’t stop at all which was hard on them both. Tony wanted it to stop just because after Peter woke up from it, he wouldn’t go back to bed so Tony would wake Peter up to go pee throughout the night as many times as he thought was necessary just so Peter avoided the inevitable accidents that were bound to happen. 

Now, it was Friday afternoon and Peter was actually smiling. A real smile that wasn’t forced and Tony was so freaking happy about it. 

The smile didn’t last too long but it was there and Tony thought it was the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen. 

Then a thought occurred to Tony. He had been thinking about it for quite awhile now but he always pushed the thoughts away because knew that Peter wouldn’t what it. 

He wanted Peter to move in with him. To live with him forever and to be the person who Peter goes to for comfort when he’s sad or mad or in need of a hug. He wants to be there for Peter even after he heals from his trauma that happened to him. 

Tony knows that Peter might never be the same and that he might not fully heal to the same happy, innocent kid that he used to be, that there will always be a darkness in his kid that will forever be with him from what Ellis did to him a week ago. Tony knows that but he also knows that eventually, Peter will get better and he wants to be there for him after that as well. 

Tony knows what he wants and as he looks at his kid who has chocolate frosting on his face, somehow he managed to get it on the top of his forehead. Tony just looks at him and knows what he wants. He wants to adopt Peter. 

He wants to adopt him so that Peter will be his kid and he can protect him so that no ones ever hurts his kid ever again. 

Peter’s smile fades but Tony’s love for him doesn’t. He still wants Peter to be his son even if he’s not smiling all the time. 

“Is it good?” Tony asks. He knows that Peter likes it because he’s actually eating it and that makes Tony so freaking happy. 

He also knows not to make a big deal of things. Tony has gotten a few books on how to deal with childhood trauma such as a kid that has been molested and raped. It was hard for him to read it but he found that it is actually helping. The book said not to make a big deal when the child does certain tasks that may have been hard for them to do and to give them choices so they feel like they have a voice. 

“Yeah.” Peter says as he takes another bite of the cupcake and drops it onto his plate. 

“I’ll have to order more of them this weekend maybe.” Tony says but he doesn’t want to force more if Peter doesn’t want it. 

Peter only nodded his head and so Tony grabbed a damp dish cloth and uses it to wipe Peter’s face off for him. He knows that Peter could have done it himself but he also noticed that Peter likes feeling loved and taken care of at times. 

“Um… can I ask you something?” Peter asked while he started playing with his hands on his lap.

Tony tosses the rag into the sink and sits down on the kitchen island stool. “Go for it.” 

Peter doesn’t know how to bring this up. He’s been thinking about it for the past few days but he just wants to get it over with now. “Um… has Aunt May called or anything? I know I haven’t um, seen her since… but I just, I don’t know.” 

Tony waits patiently for Peter to get it all out. He’s found that Peter now has a hard time getting out what he wants to say. “She’s called, yes. I know you don’t want to see her so I told her she has to wait until you’re ready. Are you?” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know yet. I just, don’t want to…”

Peter trailed off. He didn’t know how to tell Tony that he wants to stay with him and not May. 

Tony gently nudged his foot. “Don’t want to what?”

“I don’t want to go back to… like, live with her.” Peter said quietly and then looked down at the ground. “I want to stay with you.” 

Tony smiled at that. He was so freaking happy that Peter wanted to stay with him and not go back to live with May after everything they've been through. Tony couldn’t get the smile off his face and he just needed to ask Peter what he’s been wanting to ask him. 

“Can I adopt you?” Tony asked but now that it was out, he felt like he was regretting it because he didn’t want Peter to say no. He was terrified that Peter would say no. 

Peter felt his heart fall into his stomach. He wasn’t sure what he was hearing was actually happening or if he was dreaming or imagining all of it. “W-what? I- you want to…?”

Tony nodded his head and grabbed Peter’s hands. “I want to adopt you, Peter. I’ve thought if you as my kid before all of this happened and we’ve been through a lot together this past week and I just know that I want to be here for you through all of this and everything after this.” 

By now Peter felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He let out a sob but it was a happy one. He did think of Tony as his dad for longer than he could remember but he never said anything to anyone except for May and Ned a few times and after everything, Tony still wanted him around. Tony wanted to adopt him. Tony wanted him to be his son. 

Peter nodded his head. “Y-yes. Yes please.” 

Tony smiled so freaking hard that his mouth was starting to hurt. He grabbed Peter by the underarms and pulled him onto his lap as he hugged him tightly. “I want you to be my kid, Peter, more than just what’s on paper.” 

Peter cried harder. “Thank you. T-thank you.” 

Tony held Peter and let him cry against him. It was a happy cry so Tony wanted to stay like this for a long time. 

.  
.  
.

“Are you ready?” Tony asked Peter. 

They were parked in front of Peter’s now old apartment, preparing to walk inside to see May for the first time since everything happened and to talk to her about the adoption and the plans as to where Peter is going to live now. 

Tony knew that May already had some idea that Peter wasn’t coming home to her. 

Peter looked up at the apartment and nodded his head. He was scared to see his Aunt but he was ready. He needed to do this. “Yeah. I think so. You’re going to be there the whole time, right?” 

Tony nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Then I’m ready.” 

So the two of them made their way up to the apartment. Peter suddenly felt sick going up the elevator and getting closer and closer to his apartment. It brought back the memories that were so fresh in his mind and it was painful. 

He leaned closer against Tony’s side so Tony wrapped an arm around his shoulders and knocked on the door that was being immediately opened up by May. 

Tony felt Peter lean against him even more as May looked him up and down. She stepped aside to let them into the apartment. 

“Hi baby. How are you feeling?” May asked and Tony could tell that she wanted to hug Peter but she held back. 

Peter nodded. “Good.” 

There was a pause then May spoke. “Can I hug you?” 

Peter thought about it before reluctantly breaking away from Tony and hugging May weakly and quickly. 

He broke away from the hug first and leaned back into Tony’s side. May then gestured to the couch sadly, “Come, let’s sit and talk.” 

May sat on the loveseat while Peter tucked himself between Tony and the end of the couch so he felt safe and cornered. Tony didn’t know how to start the conversation but he tried anyways. “Pete’s been getting a bit better, right, bud?” 

Peter nodded his head. He grabbed Tony’s hand and started playing with one of his rings as May watched the two of them. 

Peter had been wanting to say something but he didn’t know how to bring it up. “Yeah. Um, Tony’s helped me. A lot. And I just um, I want-I want to stay with him now.” 

Tony watched Mays reaction. She looked sad but not surprised. She started nodding her head. “If that’s what you want, baby. I’m not gonna tell you no if you really want to.” 

Peter looked up at her and smiled weakly. “Okay. Thank you.” 

Nothing was said for a few seconds and Tony felt really awkward. He felt like he was taking somebody’s kid away from them but it was what both him and Peter wanted. “I asked Peter if he wanted me to adopt him. He said yes and now I’m just telling you.” 

May looked surprised at this. Tony could tell that she wanted to say a lot but she held back because Peter was there. “You’re going to adopt him?” May asked. 

Tony nodded but Peter spoke up. “I want him to adopt me. He asked me and I said yeah so you can’t say no now just because it’s what you don’t want.” 

Tony did not expect Peter to say anything, especially not that. By the looks on Mays face, she didn’t either. 

“Peter, of course I want whatever makes you happy.” May paused. “I’m just sorry that I’m not it.” 

Peter wanted to feel bad for making May sad but if he learned anything from what happened to him was that he had to do what makes him happy. No one else. He’s gotta do what’s best for him and that is Tony adopting him. 

“This is what’s best for Peter, May.” Tony said but then Peter started to get up. 

“I want to go do something in my room.” Peter randomly said and stood up. Tony looked at him questionably but let Peter pull him to his feet. “With you.” 

Tony let Peter pull him into his bedroom. Peter walked into his room, noticing that it was still the same as he left it. The bed was still unmade and he shivered at the memory of the last time he slept there. 

He saw his bedroom window that was still shut closed and he walked over to it. The last time he closed it, he remembered how lonely and scared he felt but now he was on the right path to healing and he felt okay. He still wasn’t happy but things were good. 

Peter opened up his bedroom window and took in a breath, feeling free. 

He then turned to look at Tony and smiled at him. “I need to get something.” He said before opening his closet and digging around until he found his Spider-Man suit. He pulled it out, feeling his smile widen on his face. 

“You wanna bring that with us?” Tony asked him, already knowing the answer. 

“Yeah.” Peter said with a smile on his face as he grabbed a black bag and shoved it inside. 

Just then, May walked into the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe. “Hi. Can I talk to you alone, Tony?” 

Peter immediately shook his head. He didn’t want Tony to leave him and Tony said he wouldn’t so he couldn’t. 

Peter shook his head and went to Tony’s side, tucking his head against Tony’s arm. “No. Don’t leave me.” 

“Peter can sit with us,” Tony said as he gave May a desperate look. May nodded so they all walked back to their positions on the couch and sat down. 

May began. “I just wanted to see how Peter was really doing. You look better, Peter. You don’t look so thin.” 

Tony was glad that Peter looked less thin. He hadn’t noticed since he’s been with him for so long but it was nice to hear. “Yeah, he’s eating a lot more. We’re gonna make lasagna tonight.” 

Peter nodded his head. He was excited about that. “And sugar cookies for dessert.” Peter added with a smile and May smiled widely at seeing that. 

“That sounds yummy. What about nighttime, how is he sleeping? Any bed wetting?” May asked Tony because she knew that Peter wouldn’t answer her. 

Peter felt his face heat up. He buried it in Tony’s side. “We’re working on it. We have a schedule now to stop him from wetting the bed, right, Pete?” Tony jerked him gently so he moved. 

Peter nodded his head. “Yeah. Tony wakes me up twice in the night so that I don’t… and it mostly helps but sometimes it doesn’t.” Peter admitted. At this point he just wanted to go back home. 

Hmm home. That sounded so good to say. The tower was now his home and he loved that. 

“That’s good, baby. You’ll get there eventually and I’m glad you have Tony to help you.” May smiled at Peter but he wasn’t looking at her so she looked at Tony. 

Peter was ready to go now. He cupped his hand around Tony’s ear and whispered, “Can we go now?” 

Tony was thankful for that. “Yeah, we can. Go pee first and then we’ll head out.” 

Peter nodded his head as he got up to go to the bathroom. Once Peter was in the bathroom, Tony looked at May. 

“He was separation anxiety from you.” May pointed out. Tony was well aware. “Just don’t let it get too bad. Don’t let him depend on you too much.” 

Now Tony understood why he was so reluctant on coming back to the apartment. “I’m well aware he has separation anxiety from me but I’m not gonna push him away when he really needs me. It’ll go away when he heals and I’ll be here for him either way.” 

Tony stood up and walked to the front door so he could leave with Peter as soon as he was done but May followed him. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried about him.” 

“You don’t think I am too, at least I’m doing something to help him.” Tony shot at her. He knew May was against the adoption. 

“I had no idea he was… I didn’t know and neither did you so don’t put this on me.” May whisper yelled at Tony. 

Tony glanced at the bathroom door. “I didn’t know because I wasn’t here with him all the time… look, I don’t want to fight with you. We just came to tell you about the adoption and that Pete’s moving in with me for good.” 

May put her head in her hands. “I know. I don’t want to fight with now the father of my nephew so… I’m sorry. I’m happy that this is happening.” 

Just then, Peter walked out of the bathroom and immediately went to Tony’s side. May looked at him before holding out her arms. “Can I have a hug goodbye?” 

Peter nodded his head and quickly gave May a hug. He would much rather have not hugged her and he knew he was supposed to be doing things for himself but he wanted to give May a hug goodbye for a long time. 

“Bye May.” Peter said as he hung onto the bag with his Spider-Man suit in it tightly and walked with Tony back to the car. 

On the way back to the tower, back home, Peter leaned his head against the window of the car and watched as they drove passed all the buildings. He felt… content. Maybe happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wasn’t going to make Tony adopt Peter at first but then I was like why not? He’s already going to move in with him so yes! And I’m happy about it


	21. I’m okay as long as I have you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!! Ahh the last chapter. This fic was so much fun to write. I feel like I really related to Peter in this fic in a different way and for extremely different reasons because I struggled (still do) a lot mentally and I liked writing this fic because I could write Peter basically like losing who he is and wanting to die and stuff. That got deep anyways.... I hope you guys like this. Read the end notes for a fun fact

Peter was having a horrible day. 

He woke up in his own bed from a nightmare alone, confused and wet from yet another accident that he was really starting to get sick of. 

Tony had calmed him down but he was still feeling sick to his stomach from the dream. His teacher was in his bed back at the apartment and May was sitting at his desk chair and just watching as his teacher hurt him over and over again. 

Maybe the dream was happening because him and Tony went back to his old apartment the day before and he saw his bedroom. 

Peter shivered at the memory from the dream and leaned against Tony’s side. “It’s three in the afternoon. I didn’t expect you to take a nap when you said you were going to your room, kid.” 

Peter didn’t expect to take a nap either. He planned on resting his head because he had a pounding headache but then he fell asleep for two hours. 

“Me either.” Peter admitted. 

“Do you feel better?” Tony knew that Peter had a headache earlier so maybe the nap helped him a bit. 

Peter shook his head. “Not really.” 

“How about you shower while I change your sheets and then we can do whatever you want to do, okay?” Tony suggested. Peter had no more problems with taking showers since he had recovered physically and he was no longer needing to use the cream and his underwear didn’t have anything in it at the end of the day. 

Peter nodded his head without saying anything. He felt dirty from his dream and wanted to wash it all off so he got off the bed and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

He took off his now dirty clothes and tossed them into the corner before turning on the shower and getting in. He let the water wash over him but he still felt like it wasn’t at all hot enough temperature to take away all of his teachers dirty touches that he could still feel on his skin from the nightmare. 

Peter turned the water so that it was painfully hot. He could feel his skin burning under the water and so he started scrubbing the dirty touches off his skin. 

He sank down to the shower floor as he continued to cry. He hated feeling like complete shit. Like he was only good for one thing now. Peter just wanted to feel something other than the touches and the shower was helping him forget all of that until suddenly the water turned off and Peter could now hear that he was crying loudly. 

“Peter? Why is the water so hot? Look how red your skin is.” Tony looked down at Peter’s skin. He looked like he got a serious sunburn and he hated how that came from a ten minute shower. 

Peter looked up at Tony with blurry vision from his tears. He didn’t mean to hurt himself but he just wanted to feel something. 

“That’s not good, Peter. Oh my god.” Tony touched his arm and felt that it was burning hot and that scared him. 

He grabbed a towel from the counter and wrapped it around Peter’s shoulders to try and cover him up but it kept sliding off since Peter wasn’t holding onto it. 

In a quick motion, Tony lifted Peter off the shower floor and sat on the toilet seat so he could pull Peter onto his lap and wrap the towel around him. He started rocking side to side with Peter to get him to calm down. 

“You’re okay, Pete. It’s okay.” Tony said and then used his free hand to push the wet curls off of his forehead. “Do you want me to get a cold cloth to cool you down?” 

Peter shook his head so Tony continued to rock him side to side. After a few long minutes, Peter tried to sit up so Tony let him go. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, Pete. Just don’t do it again. That was not safe at all.” Tony said and made a mental note to not let the shower get that hot in the bathroom when Peter was showering. 

“I’m gonna go so you can get changed then you can come and get me afterwards.” Tony pointed to the new set of clothes on the countertop before leaving the bathroom. 

Peter stood in front of the mirror and dropped the towel. His skin was extremely red and it was actually really sensitive to the touch. He regretted doing that since it was scary for both him and Tony and it didn’t make him feel any better. It actually made him feel worse. 

Peter put his clean clothes on. Tony had given him grey track pants and a long sleeved white shirt that was incredibly soft. He put it on and walked out to the living room to find Tony. 

He didn’t feel any better. He needed to talk to Tony because he didn’t really know how to feel about a few things and he wanted to ask the man. 

Peter sank down in the seat next to Tony and leaned his head against his shoulder. “Can I ask you something?” Peter hesitantly asked. 

Tony wrapped an arm around Peter, pulling him closer. “Yeah, of course you can.” 

Peter tried to think about how to say it. “You’ve had sex before, right?” 

Tony was not expecting that question right now but the book he was reading did say that he should be expecting questions like this eventually so he put his phone away and was going to be honest with Peter. 

“Yeah, I have.” Tony answered. It was known to everyone that he definitely wasn’t a virgin. 

“You and Pepper have sex?” Peter asked like he was asking causally about the weather. Tony felt uncomfortable but he would be honest. 

“We have had sex but we’re not exactly together right now.” Tony was sad about that but it was okay. 

Peter nodded and seemed to think about something. “How old were you when you first had sex?” 

Tony tried to think about it. He remembers he was a lot older than most of his friends the first time he did it. Despite what people might think, he wasn’t a child when he lost his virginity. He was more focused on school and learning. Sure, he loved to chase after girls but that was only for fun, he never got anywhere with it until he actually wanted to. 

“I was nineteen when I lost my virginity.” Tony said out loud when he remembered exactly how old he was. “Not as young as most people might think.” 

Tony was trying so hard not to say something that might make Peter freak out or anything. 

“So that means that I was fifteen when I lost my virginity.” Peter said as a statement, not a question. 

Tony felt a shiver run down his body. He had no idea what to say and wished so badly that he could turn back time to stop this conversation from happening by stopping Ellis from hurting his kid. 

“That doesn’t have to be the answer, Pete. You can wait for someone special to come along and when you guys fall in love and decide to have sex, you can make that your first time.” Tony said and hoped that it was enough but Peter seemed to ignore everything he was saying. 

“Did it hurt when you had sex for the first time?” Peter asked and started playing with a string on his pants. 

Tony shook his head honestly but knew it was the complete opposite for Peter and the thought made him sick to his stomach. “No. It didn’t but that was only because it was consensual.” 

Peter sighed and leaned against the couch. “Why do people even want to have sex? It’s not nice and it doesn’t feel good, it hurts. A lot.” 

Tony felt sick. He wanted this conversation to be over but he couldn’t just leave Peter with unanswered questions. “I know it did, Peter, but that’s because it wasn’t sex. It was rape and you didn’t have a say in it.” 

Peter sighed. He knew he was raped and that it wasn’t sex but he found it hard to believe. He didn’t want to process what had happened to him. 

“I’m never going to have sex ever again. Not when I’m nineteen or twenty-five or forty. Never again.” Peter didn’t even want to think about having sex with anyone because the thought made him sick. 

Tony nodded in understanding. He knew that maybe one day Peter would have sex with someone that he loves but if he really didn’t want to ever again then that would be totally okay and 100% his choice. 

“If you feel that you don’t want to ever have sex then that’s up to you and only you.” Tony explained. “But you can always change your mind if you want to.” 

Peter shook his head. “I’ll never change my mind. It’s disgusting and I’m never doing it again.” 

Tony nodded. “That’s okay, Peter. You don’t have to feel like you owe anyone anything, ever. 

Peter sat up and leaned more against Tony’s side. “Thank you. For helping me. With everything.” 

Tony wrapped his arms around his kid and pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ll always help you with anything, Peter, I’m always here for you.” 

.  
.  
.

It took a week for the adoption process to go through. 

Tony had officially adopted Peter, making him his son and Tony was so freaking happy that he couldn’t put Peter down for one second. 

They had spent the whole day together in the tower just the two of them. It was mostly like any other day but this one was special because Peter was happy and his son. 

Tony didn’t think he would see the smile on Peter’s face last longer than a minute but here they were, going on one hour and Peter was so incredibly happy that it brought tears to Tony’s eyes. He had so much love for his kid that he couldn’t even use words to describe how he felt when he looked at his kid. His kid. 

Peter ran out of his bedroom and into the living room with a smile on his face. “I want to do something with you.” 

Tony looked up from his phone at Peter, “What do you want to do?” 

“I want to go out as Spider-Man. With you. Spider-Man and Iron Man.” Peter said with some pleading in his voice. 

Tony put his phone down and looked up at his kid who was practically giving him puppy dog eyes. “Are you ready to go out as Spider-Man?” Tony asked and Peter started nodding his head. 

“Yes! Yes, I am. With you.” Peter sat down on the couch and leaned against Tony’s arm like a cat. “Please. I’ll be with you so I’ll be safe.” 

Tony couldn’t argue with that. “Yeah, you will. I’ll always keep you safe so let’s go.” 

The two of them went down to the lab to suit up. Peter stripped down to his underwear and quickly put his suit on, feeling safe and comfortable with being in just his underwear in front of Tony since he already knew that the man had seen him in a lot less. 

Peter was happy that he was comfortable with it because that meant that he trusted Tony and he was glad to have him. He was so freaking happy to have him. 

“You ready, kid?” Tony asked and Peter nodded and lifted his arms up. “Fly me to a roof!” 

Tony laughed as he let his face mask close and then picked Peter up and flew him to a nearby roof. Peter did a few flips as Tony hovered over him and smiled fondly at his kid who was healing. 

Peter then looked up at Tony to see if he was watching him as he leaped off the roof. He let himself fall for a few seconds then shot a web and swung to the next building. 

Peter felt free. He felt so happy in that moment with nothing on his mind. He was free. 

.  
.  
.

“I’ll pick you up after school and if you need me then call me.” Tony felt like he was more scared to send Peter to school than Peter was himself. 

The night before, when Peter came to him and said that he was ready to go to school, Tony was surprised. It’s been three weeks so he wasn’t expecting Peter to be ready to go back just yet but that was a good thing. He knew that was a good thing. 

“I’m gonna be okay.” Peter said confidently and smiled at Tony. “I’ll call you if I need anything or if I just need you.” 

“Okay. I’ll miss you.” Tony really didn’t want to see his kid leave just yet but he wasn’t going to hold him back. 

“I’ll miss you too.” Peter was ready to go back to school even if he would miss Tony like crazy. 

He exited the car after giving Tony a huge hug and then walked up to the stairs of his school. 

It was weird being back but it felt different. 

It felt like it didn’t hold the same darkness and loneliness that it held before. Now, it was bright and almost… happy. 

Peter smiled to himself as he walked to his locker where he grabbed his books and went to his first period class. 

He was happy to be back, the classes were going by fast but then it was time for lunch and Peter couldn’t wait to see Ned. It’s been so long since he’s seen him so he was so happy. 

“Peter!” Ned shouted and ran to Peter at his locker. Peter looked towards his friend and ran up to him, greeting him in a huge hug. “Where have you been, man? I’ve missed you so much. All I got was a text from you saying that you were going to be gone for awhile but I didn’t think you meant three weeks!” 

Peter smiled, despite the topic of conversation. He had to tell Ned everything that happened to him and so that’s exactly what he did. He told Ned how his teacher had molested him for a week and then he raped him. He told him how he felt to live with Tony and he helped him, but Peter kept out some of the details. Like the bed wetting and the burning hot shower and the alcohol incident. That was only for Tony to know. His dad. 

Peter then told Ned about how Tony had adopted him and he felt so happy saying that out loud. Tony was his dad. He was Tony’s son. 

After lunch and after everything that was talked about, Peter was happy and relieved to finally get everything out there but he had to part ways with Ned again and go to his last period class. 

Peter knew that Tony made sure that Ellis was gone and was never coming back but everything still happened in that class. So much was taken away from him and he was still on the long long road of healing from it all. 

He stood at the classroom entrance and saw the desk. The same desk that he was raped on but sitting at it was a female. She looked nice. She had long blonde hair that was greying at the top and her face looked really soft and gentle. Peter wondered if Tony had personally hired her himself. 

She looked over at him and smiled. “Hi there. Want to come join us?” 

Peter thought about it. He remembered that he had to do things for himself, do what he wants to do. Not what makes other people happy. 

Peter smiled and shook his head. “No.” He said before pulling out his phone to call Tony. He turned around and walked to the front of the school. 

He wasn’t ready for that just yet. 

Tony picked Peter up and immediately pulled him in for a hug, it was a bit uncomfortable since they were in the car but Peter loved it no matter what. 

“I’m so proud of you, Peter. So proud.” Tony said to him once they were back at home and on the couch. 

Peter leaned into Tony’s side even more and felt proudness bloom inside of him. 

“I think I’m happy.” Peter said then looked up at Tony. 

That was like music to Tony’s ears. He’s been waiting so long to hear those words. “Yeah?” 

Peter nodded and then corrected himself. “I’m happy. Maybe not like I used to be but I’m happy right now. With you.” 

Tony kissed Peter’s forehead and pulled him closer against his side. “I love you so much, Peter.” 

And Tony did. He loved his kid more than he thought it was possible to love someone. He would continue to protect him from anything, no matter what. 

Peter smiled at that. “I love you too, dad.” 

Tony wasn’t sure he heard that correctly but when he looked down at Peter and Peter was already looking up at him with a wide smile on his face, Tony knew he heard correctly and he loved the sound of it. 

He hugged Peter tighter against himself. Peter felt safe and warm in his dad's arms. He knew he wasn’t back to being happy like he used to be just yet but with the help from his dad, he would get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s over! I can’t believe this fic is done omg! I loved it so much but everything good must come to an end eventually. 
> 
> About the little “sex” talk that Peter snd Tony had, I wanted to add that in there to show that Peter trusts Tony with everything and Tony is there for his kid but also because Peter, being only fifteen and all, wasn’t curious or didn’t know really anything about sex prior to what happened to him so he was just confused and wanted clarification from Tony. 
> 
> Anyways:) it’s over! I hope you guys liked that ending:) 
> 
> Fun fact: so as most of you know, this idea for this fic was all from my internet friend. He came up with everything that happened in this fic and I just worked with it. Well, not everything but mostly everything. So in the beginning when we were talking and trying to decide who was going to rape Peter, (because I got to pick who was going to rape him) I was going to make like his driving instructor do it. Like Peter would have been sixteen and whenever he would have driving lessons, his driving instructor would touch him and then eventually rape him in the car and Tony then would have taken Peter out driving and be like Wtff why do you suck at driving? You’re going for lots of lessons. But I didn’t want to write that because at the time I was starting to write this, I was going for driving lessons and I didn’t want to like scare myself into not going for the lessons haha


End file.
